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My addict is trying to kill me
By g1rlie
10/9/2012 2:11:45 PM
He still wants to act out with me. Greg. Yeah,I hit the bottom. But apparently, there was a pickaxe down there for my addict to dig an even deeper bottom. I just want to die. Keep taking too many sleeping pills. But that wouldn't solve anything. I'd still be stuck with myself.

Listened to a documentary last night on distressing Near Death Experiences. I may have had one of those once. Wound up under a dump truck on my way to work one night years sgo. Don't know how. Maybe I blacked out. I thought I died. I saw only blackness. But I had consciousness. I thought, "Am I dead?" Then I saw two people. Although I wasn't married yet, nor did I have children, I knew these to be my children. Someone told me I wasn't dead, but I'd better clean up my act for my children. At the time, I was acting out with my now husband. I never did stop acting out with him until we were married. Then I saw blackness. Then, I finally woke up in my body. I heard people all around me. I couldn't quit back then for my children. Since then, I've learned that the person I need to quit for is me. Because at the end of the day, I am the only person stuck with myself.

In the mean time, my addict is trying to kill me......

Comments:

you have my smile + encouragement    
"K.I.T.....= keep it together
at day 0...oops. i try again"
posted at 21:57:03 on October 10, 2012 by skyteamst90


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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990