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Addiction and a desire to change
By roast_rump
2/28/2007 12:07:32 AM
Addiction has become a very big part of my life. While trying to repent and overcome these addictive compulsions and tendencies I have struggled a lot. I think that others have mentioned something like this before, but I don't care and I am going to mention it again:
Addiction has become a very dear "friend" to me. It is hard to let it go for many reasons. It (Addiction) never leaves me alone or by myself. It helps me to forget about stress or challenges. It is quite the companion- it always takes you for a "new" ride. You never know (exactly) what is just around the corner and Addiction always leads you there. How can you just give up a "friend" who has been around for such a long time?
The whole notion of the above is preposterous, but it is so true. I guess it is true because it is the devil's deceitful mask of imitation over a true friend, such as Christ. I guess this situation is like one of those socially awkward situations- I have two good friends, both of whom cannot stand the other.

The ideal situation then, if you can't have both friends, is to choose the best and say sorry to the other. That is just a difficult thing for me to do. Especially when one of them does not want to be ignored. Especially when I do not want to ignore it.
I guess the bottom line is that I have to want change. I have to want it with all of my heart and with all of my soul. I have to want the true version of a friend. It is easy to say this and write it and think it, but it is difficult for me to accept it in my heart. I have to choose good over evil. I have to choose truth over lies. And I have to want it badly, or the resolve won't stick. I have to keep wanting it badly or I will be unable to completely embrace a change of heart. I have to show God that I am willing to do this. But I have to want it for myself first. Not superficially, but deeply.

Comments:

Marriage    
"I think this friend concept also applies to a spouse. I realized that I have to think of my wife of that deep, real friend as well. I had to want a deep and real friendship with my wife, not a superficial one. This means talking to my wife, sharing how I feel, being honest with her, telling her how my day went, asking for advice, etc. It also includes being there for her and being a good, deep, real friend to her as well."
posted at 10:49:58 on March 1, 2007 by doanair
very true    
"My wife is my best friend and I care about her more than anything else in the world. I need to prove it to her though by making my change of heart complete and total."
posted at 17:58:35 on March 16, 2007 by roast_rump
very true    
"My wife is my best friend and I care about her more than anything else in the world. I need to prove it to her though by making my change of heart complete and total."
posted at 17:58:41 on March 16, 2007 by roast_rump


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"Jesus rejected temptation. When confronted by the great tempter himself, Jesus "[yielded] not to the temptation‚ÄĚ. He countered with scripture. Gospel commandments and standards are our protection also, and like the Savior, we may draw strength from the scriptures to resist temptation."

— D. Todd Christofferson

General Conference October 2006