Print
THE Bottom...
By g1rlie
8/23/2012 8:40:09 AM
I officially can't get any lower than this. This is the point at which I must change, since it is my only option. I broke up with Greg last night--told him I can't talk to him anymore. I broke my phone in half and threw it away. But I can't go back to him. This is something I am not able to handle doing--going back. The pain of staying the same is officially greater than the pain of changing. So change is my only option. Sucks.

Today it seems that the light at the end of the tunnel IS an oncoming train.

Comments:

Today is called, Day one!    
"Hang in there...Check in often. Get to meetings and work the steps!
Congrats on taking this big leap of faith. You'll be fine."
posted at 15:08:57 on August 23, 2012 by chefdalet
I remember that day (actually I don't remember it at all but I remembered it existed)    
"( http://www.ldsar.org/ViewBlog.aspx?EntryId=7176 )

I do however remember one thing. The feeling I speak of of coming out of the clouds. It was the most bazaar and wonderful and foreign feeling. I hope you find the same thing. I can remember sitting there in my one bedroom apartment in Texas (my wife and I were separated) at the dining room table and feeling the most subtle, quiet...light. I wasn't looking for it. It found me. I thought of it when you mentioned the light at the the end of the tunnel. Hope with that light comes some peaceful clarity to you."
posted at 15:38:14 on August 23, 2012 by They_Speak
Proud of you:-)    
"I'm so proud of you. Just as Chef says, keep coming back. Don't give up. Blog the pain and the temptation. You can do this!!"
posted at 01:07:19 on August 24, 2012 by siouxsie
Something someone once said to me...    
"When I was in a dark place my sister told me, "Rock bottom is a great place to have been." So true.

Sending a prayer your way."
posted at 09:43:12 on August 24, 2012 by maddy
Wow. I'm still not so happy about this...    
"But I'm stopping the insanity. Right now expletives would be the perfect description for how I'm feeling. Lots and lots of expletives. Oh, well. I'm going to get going and get to work, I've got a lot to do. Gotta keep my mind off of Greg. Unfortunately, several times at work last night I collapsed in tears. I couldn't even walk anymore. Kind of lame, but true. Oh, well. This, too, shall pass."
posted at 11:32:19 on August 24, 2012 by g1rlie
Congrats Girlie    
"Way to freaking go.

Praying for you."
posted at 11:52:18 on August 24, 2012 by ruggaexpat
Thanks    
"But I feel like I want to die. Now. I hope this goes away."
posted at 13:33:35 on August 24, 2012 by g1rlie
It does    
"You're going to mourn the loss... that is completely normal. You'll also have a period of detox.

There is a song that REALLY helped me break away from a very unhealthy relationhip...

It's called Now That I Don't Have You by Jill Sobule.. here is a link... hope you like!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6Wc1QICflo"
posted at 15:37:57 on August 24, 2012 by siouxsie
.    
"Thanks, Siouxsie.

Still feel like I want to die. Luckily, I have no prescription meds around. Remembering that I read somewhere that doing service helps one heal. I guess on Sunday, I'll talk to the bishop in my new ward."
posted at 06:21:44 on August 25, 2012 by g1rlie
Good plan:-)    
"I totally understand the feeling of wanting to die... it's like losing a limb. It sucks. But it will get better... promise!"
posted at 10:08:16 on August 25, 2012 by siouxsie
Can't believe I fell for that lying @$$ joker...    
"Not falling for it anymore..."
posted at 05:35:38 on August 26, 2012 by g1rlie
^ lol    
"me neither ;)"
posted at 18:14:47 on August 26, 2012 by They_Speak


Add a Comment:


***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)








help
join
"Man has a dual nature; one, related to the earthly or animal life; the other, akin to the divine. Whether a man remains satisfied within what we designate the animal world, satisfied with what the animal world will give him, yielding without effort to the whim of his appetites and passions and slipping farther and farther into the realm of indulgence, or whether, through self-mastery, he rises toward intellectual, moral, and spiritual enjoyments depends upon the kind of choice he makes every day, nay, every hour of his life"

— David O. McKay