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Polygraph on Tuesday, My wife is looking for help with questions.
By ether 12:27
8/19/2012 8:57:31 AM
On Tuesday I will be taking a polygraph test, 6 months ago I disclosed to my wife the things I have been doing. I have been involved with porn and mb for 30 years and was going to strip clubs and getting asian massages. I also would seek out women on-line that would give me a massage. I never had intercourse or oral sex and my wife and her counselor aren't convinced. So she needs help coming up with questions about my disclosure and if I have been clean since Feb. Any help from any wives out there?

Comments:

Good for you!    
"The first time I mentioned polygraph on this site as a way to help build trust in a marriage I was blasted big time. Your willingness to do this shows that you are truly choosing your wife over your addiction. Men love what they protect. Spouses are taught in recovery to believe actions not words. Many spouses are traumatized not only by the sexual addiction but mostly from the lies they have been told. A clean polygraph helped me to take faith in what was being said rather than obsessing on what my damaged mind would conjure up. I could reflect on my questions and say "relax he passed". Polygraphs will help restore trust in your marriage. The couples I know who have regular poly tests are progressing in their couples recoveries at a much more successful rate than the couples who do not.

As for the questions. Those are individual to each situation. My counselor helped me with mine. She may want to know if you love her."
posted at 02:45:46 on August 20, 2012 by Hero
Questions need to be clear wiht no fuzziness    
"Questions that are clearly yes or no work best.

Do you have any online accounts that I don't know about.
have you been sober since X date
Did you leave anything important out of your disclosure

things that don't work well are things in the future
will you ever act out again?"
posted at 10:33:29 on August 20, 2012 by Anonymous


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"By emulating the Master, who endured temptations but “gave no heed unto them,” we, too, can live in a world filled with temptations “such as [are] common to man”. Of course Jesus noticed the tremendous temptations that came to him, but He did not process and reprocess them. Instead, He rejected them promptly. If we entertain temptations, soon they begin entertaining us! Turning these unwanted lodgers away at the doorstep of the mind is one way of giving “no heed.” Besides, these would-be lodgers are actually barbarians who, if admitted, can be evicted only with great trauma."

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987