By siouxsie
8/17/2012 10:14:16 PM
Went to visit the fam up in Montana for the past 4 days. My mom knows about me. Knows about my work in the program. Knows about my work with the church and my story coming out. This trip she told me that my dad has struggled ... she walked in on him a while back. He saw the bishop etc... the usual.... she then asked him recently how he was doing with it and he said "The Lord has removed it from me".... of course this isn't true. He's either still in shock mode where he doesn't want to touch it anymore - we all know that doesn't last forever. Or, he's lying to her. My guess is the latter because he still doesn't pray and he actually told her that he doesn't think he'll ever make it to the Celestial Kingdom. Totally makes me sad. Good news is I was able to open up and tell my mom that I found pornography in my dads bed when I was around 6. It was a water bed and it was hidden between the sloshing mattress and the frame. I also told her that he'd bring home sexually explicit (not adult, but R rated) movies that at 10, I would watch. She didn't know this. She asked me if this led to my own addiction. I told her no it didn't start it - since my sexual thinking started much earlier than that - but it sure fed it. So now I'm still chewing on this new information. I only saw my dad for 2 hours or so this trip. He works on the oil fields in North Dakota so he's hardly home. But the tine he did spend with us was different. His hug lingered longer. Later in the week he called asking me to check his email for a job response... I did... and his conversation lingered longer. I asked my mom later if he knows about my addiction and the work I'm doing to help others and she said yes. I wonder if this could actually help my relationship with my dad. It's weird. Like I said, I;m still chewing on it all.

I just needed a place to put my thoughts. Thanks.


Pray for him    
"It sounds like your father is in despair. Despair comes because of our sin. I would pray and fast for him. The Atonement of Christ is sufficient for all men but it seems your father doesn't believe that. Pray that he will have a burning desire and the strength he needs to be cleansed of his sin."
posted at 10:41:48 on August 19, 2012 by Anonymous

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"One of the great myths in life is when men think they are invincible. Too many think that they are men of steel, strong enough to withstand any temptation."

— James E. Faust

General Conference, April 2002