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Continuing: LDSAR needs to Change
By moronidenovo
8/7/2012 3:14:16 AM
But there is a lot of value on this site, honestly I haven't found another site like this. I've looked but they don't have the same feel. But I do feel I've grown from when I've first written. I'm starting to see that this place has moved past its initial purpose. It's a life saver for people who have never talked about these issues before. For me it was amazing, Mormons going through my trials was priceless and amazing. But here i am, 6 months later. Is it enough for people like us to simply know there are other Mormons going through this, or do we need more complex conversations to discuss our thoughts and actions.

That is where this site fails. We can't communicate when we need help the most. When we need real conversations that go past pep talks, it stops. Even now, I'm not sure anyone will read this. I'm i talking to myself? Is my writing even going to help anyone? I hope so, even if it's just that one person.

I think it's for that reason that so many people create an account and tell their story, are excited to improve themselves, but simply leave. Some even say it's a trigger for them, a crutch instead of a help. This site isn't for improvement, its just for us to know there are people with struggles out there must like ourselves. I think this site could be more.

Am I crazy? I'm over thinking this place, should I just accept the fact that this place that is what it is and shouldn't worry about it. It just bothered me when I saw Girlies post and she said she was going to leave because of what everyone told her. Should we really gang up on one person, even if its unintentional? And then JJA was sad because nobody commented his blog when he felt he needed support the most. I hope he doesn't mind me using his name. And I've talked to several people that say this site reminds them to much of their struggles and triggers them. Will I someday leave this site? I'm not sure. I do know many people here have cussed at me to leave, but it would be like losing apart of myself because I've only shared my addiction with you guys and my bishop.

I hope its not too long, but I really would like to know if you guys think this site needs improvement or its fine. It keeps bothering me the last few days.

Comments:

Moroni    
"I think that if this site is your only recovery tool, your program-in general, is lacking. You're right about needing deeper conversations but looking for them on the internet is ironically similar to the problem that got most of us here in the first place.
This site should be a supplement to your recovery. If this is all you've got, then yes, I can see where you might find it lacking.

If something is not living up to your expectations, change your expectations."
posted at 08:45:48 on August 7, 2012 by Anonymous
You've made some great points, Moroni    
"It's true, people have said some very inappropriate and unkind comments to you and to others. I should have said something, but I failed to do so. Others should have said something, also. I'm sorry. I was wrong for failing in this. It's been said that all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing; and I did nothing. Then again, I don't consider myself to be "good". I'm broken like everyone else here. But that is no excuse for doing, for saying, nothing.

I guess when others are unkind to us it can be seen as an opportunity for us to learn forgiveness. And, really, forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free and realizing that prisoner is you. Also, those who are unkind to us are broken just like we are. Sometimes those who deserve our love the least need it the most.

Moroni, I admire you for hanging in there and not giving up even though others may have tried to get you down. I also admire you for sticking up for other people. You will make a fine missionary one day. BE the change you wish to see in the world."
posted at 09:43:32 on August 7, 2012 by Anonymous
New Website    
"Hey, I took the advice of this one here and started a new forum for LDS Addiction Recovery. I pretty much set it up like this website as far as topics go, but I really like the fact that there is a live chat that we can have. I haven't figured out how to embed it into the front page, so we can all see it when we go to the front page, but I'll work on it. This is the website...
http://ldsar.proboards.com"
posted at 00:35:49 on August 8, 2012 by Anonymous
NPSupport.net    
"Hey Moronidenovo,

Have you been to npsupport's forum? It is almost exactly what you created, except without the live chat, and it really focuses on sexual addictions. Just curious.

http://www.npsuport.net "
posted at 12:37:39 on August 8, 2012 by Anonymous
Oops..    
posted at 12:38:20 on August 8, 2012 by Anonymous
Sorry for the late reply, I was out of town    
"Thank you guys for your comments, I appreciate them.

@1Anonymous [Moroni]
I agree this or any site should not be the only tool for recovery. But, it is a tool. I think Pres. hinckley was a big advocate of the internet and wanted to use it for the church and what not. So what all I'm saying is this site is lacking in a lot of place. From the "updates" page it looks like it hasn't been updated in 5 years or so. Every site always needs to be improved upon, this site is not an exception. I guess technically if I don't like some things here I should just leave but I do like this place and it helped me a lot when I had no one. And that's the thing, for a lot of people they come here before they go to anyone else.

@2Anonymous [You've made some]
Thank You for that. Although their were some harsh words said to me, I never expected an apology from the people that said nothing, and to hear that means a lot. I definitely think it's really easy to get into a group mentality and just gang up on a person, so it makes it hard to defend yourself. And so it's true if we stand up for that person, it makes things better. Again, thank you.
Ya when I first came here I took the criticism very hard. It would bother me for hours and I would think about it the next day. But after a while, I realized my anger and frustration was hurting me the most, not the people saying the stuff to me. So over time I would like to think I try to dismiss it as much as possible. But still, in the end it does make me feel terrible.
I'm glad someone here is glad I stayed. I considered leaving so many times because people actually demanded I leave. But I feel like I've grown with this site and I thought that maybe someone who had my worries and struggles in the future will look back at what I wrote and it would actually help them. That's the biggest thing, I just want to help people. Thank again, I do want to be the change in the world for a lot of things. It does start with myself. I hope you make an account so I can put a face(name) if I ever read your comments again."
posted at 20:33:55 on August 8, 2012 by moronidenovo
Next replies :-D    
"@Hurtallover
I definitely have considered it. I know it's not excuse, but I don't know how to l. I want to learn and will take your suggestions and see what I can come up with. My brain swirls with ideas and concepts with how we should communicate so that's why I kinda would like to see change here. I actually tried emailing the creator a while ago with no response.
again I agree this site is not a replacement for real people. But a lot of the people are too scared to even take that step, and if this place could help them to understand themselves and their problems better, maybe they would be willing to go talk to the bishop. When I first came, I didn't want to talk to the bishop. Everyone told me to, but I felt I wasn't ready. When I finally told him, it was great. But I know there are other people who simply aren't willing or ready yet, and that's where I think this site should address that type of situation. Maybe I'll try making one, I do need help tho haha.

@Anonymous [New Web]
I definitely check it out. I want to get into this type of stuff, like creating websites as far as social sites. If you want help let me know, I definitely Think deep I to concepts of ideas.

@anonymous [npsupport]
I haven't I'll take a look. Thanks. But that anonymous wasn't me. That's a different person, I think he took the advice wnd maybe it sounded like I took the advice lol. It's a paradox! but ill still check it out."
posted at 20:44:12 on August 8, 2012 by moronidenovo
I checked out your New Site anonymous    
"Your right it is set up the same as this site, but has more of the traditional Blog environment. Just some general questions, what sets it apart so that other people go there instead of here? I'm all for supporting it but like I said I'm actually really interested in creating social network sites, which is what these are, so I'm taking this as a learning experience. If you want to contact though email pet me know."
posted at 21:58:15 on August 8, 2012 by moronidenovo
This Site    
"I believe that the Gentleman who started this site did it as his 12th step and it has been very effective for many people for many years.

I rarely come back here. Not because the site is not effective, but because I have moved passed thinking about addiction and all that comes with it. I am more focused on getting on with my life now. I do still attend meetings and do my dailies, but I am really moving on.

Moroni, I think you should start what your are not finding here. It may help you find what you are looking for. I know that if we are looking to find healing trough people it will never work. It is great to have advice and how people say nice things to lead me closer to God, Bu I can find God in so many places because he never leaves me alone.

Our real help only comes through God and no one else. Derek has done something great here but if this is all he ever does I think it is enough. He does this out of the kindness of his heart and is not paid run this site, so I agree with the other people making the suggestion to start what it is you are looking for. Good luck and I wish you well"
posted at 00:25:52 on August 9, 2012 by Anonymous


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"In recent years, as I have sung the hymns of the Atonement, it has been with an especially full heart—and also with full voice, when I can continue to sing—lines such as “How great thou art,” “I scarce can take it in,” “To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,” “I stand all amazed,” and “Oh, it is wonderful!”"

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