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im lost
By asdfjkl1234
7/30/2012 2:53:21 PM
Its been a little less than a week since my last screw up. I went on a trip a couple of weeks ago and totally binged on porn and mb most days of the week. I think in my subconscious I was excited to go away. It was new, and thrilling to be able to do whatever I wanted without wording about getting caught by my wife. Of course afterwards I felt terrible and guilty.

My problem now is that I have no desire to have sex with my wife. I kind of want to abstain for a while, sort of like a detox. Is this a bad idea? Thanks

Comments:

Good idea...    
"I'm not sure, but I've read that this is a good detoxification idea. I'm thinking of doing this with my husband, but it seems kinda stressful."
posted at 15:47:16 on July 30, 2012 by G1rlie
yea.    
"Very stressful. How would I ever bring that up?"
posted at 20:35:21 on July 30, 2012 by asdfjkl1234
-    
"You are not your own when you are married. If your marriage partner wants to be intimate and they are not being abusive they have a right to it. You can at least satisfy them if you do not want it.

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife. - I Corinthians Chapter 7"
posted at 00:10:15 on July 31, 2012 by Anonymous
Um..    
"I'm thinking the above Anon doesn't really understand what it means to be addicted. Going without for a period of time has worked for others. This is even talked about in the SA white book. It seems to have a detox effect where you are able to enjoy being sexual with your spouse once again."
posted at 02:33:26 on July 31, 2012 by Anonymous
i agree anon#2    
"Ill ignore #1;). Thanks"
posted at 14:30:44 on July 31, 2012 by asdfjkl1234
O.O    
"@ #1... :::: facepalm ::::"
posted at 16:58:35 on July 31, 2012 by Anonymous
communication    
"if you communicate deftly and humbly with your spouse going with or going without, in my experience, makes perfect sense for both. I'm not sure either of us have ever had sex because of that Corinthians nonsense. Frankly I wouldn't want it if my wife didn't and I hope visa versa."
posted at 17:09:36 on July 31, 2012 by they_speak
thank you    
"@they-speak thanks for the good words. Im not sure how this would fly in my marriage if I brought this up. R
I think my wife would be madder about me not loving her than the sex part but I think it would turn into some huge thing. I don't know..."
posted at 21:09:24 on July 31, 2012 by asdfjkl1234
Hi ASDFJKL1234    
"What other recovery steps have you taken so far, besides trying to obstain on your own? Not trying to be rude, just curious."
posted at 00:28:15 on August 1, 2012 by WHATTODO2
lol battle of the anonymous    
"You guys should just make accounts, its easy:)

Hmmm not sure if this is the same but I can kind of relate, as a single guy who choses not to have sex anyway. When I first tried to masturbate without porn, I couldn't! My body was so used to the high of naked woman and sex that when I didn't have it I simply couldn't masturbate. But what helped was to simply not masturbate for a few days, and of course refrain from porn, then masturbate. It helped a little, but my brain is so scared from all the porn its ridiculous, but I think after a while of no porn it gets easier.

So, maybe try not looking at porn for a few days and no sex, then when you can't take it anymore politely ask your wife is she would like to. This migy help idk, its worth a try no?"
posted at 02:38:09 on August 1, 2012 by moronidenovo
Think of it like this.....    
"What Paul is saying is.......your sex belongs to your wife and her sex belongs to you. When you have self sex...... then you are driving her car. You would never drive another persons car without asking first. That is against the law....you could get thrown in prison,......so what you do with her car is her business......she owns it.....you gave it to her by way of a sacred agreement....it is not yours anymore. The car belongs to her, and God, so before you take it for a run, you had better ask the two of them."
posted at 10:51:36 on August 1, 2012 by Anonymous
So..    
"So if you aren't married it's OK to masturbate because you haven't given your body to anyone yet? Is that what is being said??"
posted at 14:02:13 on August 1, 2012 by anon16
No.    
"No......."
posted at 15:51:13 on August 1, 2012 by Anonymous
Too funny....    
"Moronidenovo, that last anonymous comment was you, wasn't it? :D"
posted at 17:30:20 on August 1, 2012 by g1rlie
Kinda confused    
"@girlie no I use my account. This is me

@anon16 was that question towards me? If it was directed to me, I don't understand your question. Are you rewriting a statement that I wrote as a question or what cuz I don't really know where your question came from. But I'll just assume what would be obvious and say that you think I'm justifying Masturbation. I say people, make your decisions about life and hopefully you'll get better. If one will help, do it. If it doesn't work, stop and try something else or change the way you have been doing it. Idk what else you want from me."
posted at 22:07:39 on August 1, 2012 by moronidenovo
moroni...    
"How about being honest. Your body was so used to the high of naked women? Really? I don't think so.

And no, anon16 wasn't talking to you. Your ego just jumped to that conclusion."
posted at 03:41:55 on August 2, 2012 by Anonymous
Ouch!    
"."
posted at 03:42:42 on August 2, 2012 by Anonymous
That wasn't nice    
"!"
posted at 03:43:37 on August 2, 2012 by Anonymous
Ah, Anonymous...    
"Oscar Wilde: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give
him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.""
posted at 08:41:37 on August 2, 2012 by G1rlie


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