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What to do if I'm tempted....
By Girlie
7/18/2012 8:57:23 AM
I'm finding great recovery info from SLAA. Yes, I am a sexaholic. But I also am dealing with emotional intoxication. So SLAA is very good for me. Someone from SLAA shared this information on what to do when I'm tempted to make a huge mistake:

I am an addict. Whenever I feel dis-ease my initial re-action of
choice is to medicate my dis-ease and my medication of choice is ... acting out.
I have also been known to medicate my celebrations too because I don't
deserve any rewards, recognition, or celebrations ...

So ... I believe we all do things for one of only two reasons. To gain
pleasure or to avoid pain. If I am "extremely tempted" maybe I could call
that obsessed? I can become emotionally intoxicated if I focus on the
temptation/obsession. As might be found in an obsessive compulsive disorder.

What to do?

Make a list every morning of the things you wish to or need to get done
today. Temptation shows up yank out the list and DO (this is an action
oriented spiritual program and this is the action part) the next right thing on
your list. If you run out of next right things the next right thing to do is
sit down and think of some more to put on your list. No obsession can
survive five minutes concentrated effort DOing the next right thing.


If I act out with this man. Where will I be tomorrow?


In 48 hours?

72 hours?

96 hours?

This week end?

Next week?

In two weeks?

Next month?

In two months?

In three months?

In six months?

In nine months?

Next year?

In two years?

In three years?

In five years?

In ten years?


If on the other hand I don't act out with this man ... Where will I be
tomorrow?


In 48 hours?

72 hours?

96 hours?

This week end?

Next week?

In two weeks?

Next month?

In two months?

In three months?

In six months?

In nine months?

Next year?

In two years?

In three years?

In five years?

In ten years?


Which is the future I wish to manifest in my life?

Stay sober just for today

BREAK UP WORKSHEET

What didn't I get out of this relationship that I needed?
What did I get out of this relationship that I wanted?
What did I get out of this relationship I liked?
What did I get that I needed?
What didn't I get that I wanted?
What didn't I get that I liked?
What did I get that I didn't want?
What did I get that I didn't need?
What did I get that I didn't like?
What dreams or wishes did not get fulfilled?
What characteristics do I want to avoid in a future relationship?
What have you learned about myself?
What relationship skills did I build?
What worked?
What didn't work?
What relationship skills need improvement?
What have I learned about relationships that will help me in the future?

Comments:

Progress    
"None. None will likely be made until I'm successfully able to enter the withdrawal phase (yet again). GM called me 2X last night and I emailed him 2X last night. He wants to see me in 2 weeks. GM says: I wouldn't be buying these plane tickets if we weren't hot together." Note to self: These "deep feelings" GM says he has for you are probably mostly confined to his nether regions. :/ Fail."
posted at 12:43:35 on July 18, 2012 by Girlie
Amazing thoughts, Girlie    
"I am certain I will be thinking about the connections between dis-ease, re-action, self medication, procrastination, action, lifetime goals, smaller goals, and daily goals for weeks or months now as a result of this post. Thank you so, so much! This will be a life-changing blog for me, just like when Sierra told us about the things her husband was doing to overcome--I was (then and now) strongly impacted by what I read, and I have reflected on it since that time (2.5 years ago). I was then also impacted when I read that Sierra's husband hiccuped in his recovery, which sent Sierra spiraling out of spiritual control. Much can be learned on this site.

Thank you all."
posted at 16:44:49 on July 18, 2012 by beclean
You're way better than this clown    
"...Not to judge, (but i'm going to judge :) ) but this GM character seems like a huge dweeb to me. He's embarrassingly obvious. And I feel like he can only get away with it because you're a sucker for it (i don't mean that in a dick type way - sometimes text doesn't capture my tone very well). You're NOT a sucker. Quit letting him treat you like one. Girlie, you've made some cleaver comments and my guess is you are to intelligent for his lame-o tactics. Seriously, from an outside perspective the game he's runnin is a hilarious knee slapping laughable sham. You say he's brilliant but he's not brilliant enough to hide the fact that he's a phony bastard. And just think, in like 5 years or so...he's gonna be 60. 60! And 10 years from then (you'll be 45ish - and probably still be a hot babe) he'll probably smell like he's decaying...because he will be! Not so hip and svelte anymore. Death comes to us all. Just saying. My 2"
posted at 01:47:25 on July 19, 2012 by they_Speak
Replies    
"@BeClean--Yeah, you can find some good stuff on this site. And other sites. I've found so much AWESOME stuff on this SLAA yahoo group I joined. So awesome.

@They_Speak--Well, he is brilliant in an intellectual way. But it seems he doesn't know how to relate to regular women. His wife was by mail order and the woman before me that he cheated on her with (hunch back and losing her hair--Rude, but just to make me feel better about those two working together) is some foreign person also. I don't know how he was able to communicate with these individuals, but I am guessing he probably doesn't know how to communicate well with women.

Yep, I am a sucker for him, it's true. I have zero idea why, either. Maybe it's hard for me to really want to believe what I'm observing/hearing because of his uberhotness. Don't know. On some level, it may be like this quote by Friedrich Nietzsche: “Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.”"
posted at 08:53:31 on July 19, 2012 by Girlie
Indeed    
"Nietzsche also said "A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love." Sorry, it was late last night and I was feeling sassy. I only meant it as an offering of my specs. Don't mistake uberhotness (a dime a dozen) for Übermensch."
posted at 09:20:21 on July 19, 2012 by they_Speak
@They Speak    
"Wow! This other quote you spoke of by Neitzche is way too funny. And probably true. :) Hahahahah!"
posted at 12:19:47 on July 19, 2012 by Girlie
have you asked him to get a STD test?    
"I suspect he gets around.. It will be shocking to him."
posted at 17:29:49 on July 19, 2012 by Anonymous
Avoid it    
"Avoid people like the plague those who want to drag you into sin. I would change your phone number or just completely ignore his calls and just delete his e-mails. Do not listen to his voice mails either. He is dead to you and you cannot save him. He is being a tool of the Adversary and he does not even know it."
posted at 23:39:09 on July 19, 2012 by Anonymous
Girlie    
"Tell him, "Quit teasin' me, bro""
posted at 06:50:04 on July 20, 2012 by Anonymous
as promised    
"I'm still thinking about this post. Parts of it have become a permanent fixture in my personal mission statement, which I read daily."
posted at 01:00:04 on January 3, 2013 by beclean


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