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Its SO not worth it
By asdfjkl1234
7/17/2012 12:00:02 AM
I am out of town for a week long training for my work. I have known that I was going on this training for a couple months now. When I first found out that I was going away, naturally my mind started "planning for a way to be able to binge on porn". I would be alone in a hotel room with no family and all the free internet I want.

So here I am, day 2 of my little trip. Yesterday I binged on porn. Towards the end of my binge, I noticed that I am not really turned on by it like I used to be. It really just grosses me out. Its the same over and over. I guess I use porn as my "high" that people talk about. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't cuss, I stay away from r-rated movies, my drug is porn and mb. It is so not worth it.

I love the way it feels during... but after? I feel terrible and empty inside. I lose the spirit and life gets more chaotic, just like the manual says...unmanageable. for what? A few minutes of a high? I just don't see the draw anymore to porn. Its so fake anyways its just stupid and annoying.

Recently I've been fantasizing about having an affair with some random lady just to see if I could. Where did that thought even come from? Satan has been working overtime on me lately. Back to the basics of scripture study, and pray with real intent. If anyones "planning" some bingefest in the near future, just know that ITS NOT WORTH IT. Believe me, I know! Sorry for the ramblings, gotta keep myself busy this week.

Comments:

Is this like the dog going back to his vomit?    
"I think there is a scripture reference there somewhere.."
posted at 07:17:57 on July 17, 2012 by Anonymous
You plan    
"Because you're body wants it. Its a way for you're mind to start to accepting behavior you otherwise wouldn't. The porn doesn't excite you, honestly that's not a good thing. What happened with me was I wanted more, I needed dirtier and more hardcore. By the time you're done, you realize that you've gone farther than you ever have. It progresses, you could eventually do something with a lady, that's why porn is so dangerous.

Hope you feel better.

Moronidenovo"
posted at 11:21:53 on July 17, 2012 by Anonymous
Yeah, you are so right.    
"It is DEFINITELY not worth it. Why do we (including me) do stuff that makes us unhappy? :(

Keep fighting."
posted at 11:57:51 on July 17, 2012 by Girlie


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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988