Print
Help to overcome to serve a mission
By geralt
7/15/2012 6:13:53 PM
Hey everybody, I'm here posting because I need some help, I've tried many things and I am getting close to the end of the rope. I have tried counseling, blocking programs, talking with family members, doing what I can to educate myself of the negative things that can occur by being around pornography, research, I am serious about stopping my issue with pornography and masturbation and doing what I can to serve a full time mission. I fell into the garbage that pornography is when I was 5 years old, and it has become something which started out as a daily urge to something more manageable, there is hope as I have been able to resist and do much better from the urge as time goes on. My problem is that I want to serve a mission so badly, but I am unclean with this uncouth urge, I want to serve a mission and have the experience, I want to say that I tried and succeeded, rather than say I gave up and accepted this pornography issue for the rest of my life. The only thing I can think of is to ask from the people who read this and maybe post anything that has to do with my issue, anything, like saying hello, or anything ideas for overcoming that has worked for you or whatever, anything. In return I'll share what I have done.

To start off, here are the things I have tried;
programs that block websites and control internet activity, one called "k9bluecoat web protection" which has been a valuable resource, you can control (not a 100% perfect alternative but it works great)

Telling family members, I am a guy, and I live with my parents, I told my father and my cousins who are close to me, they have been great resources, but you need to be clear what you need from them. You need to tell them to be not afraid to barge in on you and to not allow you to be in a room with a computer alone, EVER.

keep something that reminds you of who you are and how strong you are, think about this seriously, think about all the hard things you have overcome and how you will not let pornography take away your salvation.

Keep something that reminds you of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice, as a desktop background, set LDS.org as your home page and force yourself to read a scripture before you go out and sail the seas of the internet.

anyway, I hope some of those things help people, thank you for reading this and anything you give to support!

Geralt.

Comments:

HEY!    
"I'm in the same boat, except I have one more year but I still want to be better now. I would like to help you."
posted at 18:50:53 on July 15, 2012 by moronidenovo
I wish I could tell you ....    
"That recovering from this addiction is formulaic. What seems to be constant is some sort of structured 12 Step plan. The church has a great program, and there are others which utilize the 12 steps such as SA (Sexaholics Anonymous). I admire your courage in confronting this now and being serious about it. Many YM find they can abstain from porn and MB just long enough to pass a worthiness interview and go on a mission, but fall right back into their addiction as soon as they get home. It is becoming widely known that our returning missionaries are waiting longer and longer to get married..trying to rid themselves of porn and MB so that they can feel worthy to take a girl to the Temple.
Find a meeting close by and start going to meetings. You will be surprised at the strength you feel. Also visit www.rowboatandmarbles.org They have some great info. Also look at abettermormon.com Download and listen to Tony's recordings.
The atonement is real...ultimately your recovery depends upon your ability to take advantage of it."
posted at 21:54:40 on July 15, 2012 by chefdalet
I'm not young (if by YM you mean young man)    
"I should have clarified this, but my history is pretty dank and full of twists and turns.

The short story;
I am 24 years old, and I fell away from the church when I was 18, as soon as I gained my independence I just did whatever I wanted. Fortunately I had a healthy urge to restrain myself from every other sin, such as actually involving myself with sex, drinking alcohol, swearing, smoking, (any form of health deterring subject matter). I did have a huge emotional issue which I don't want to get into but I feel has to do with pornography (no I was not touched, I just interpreted the act of sex to be painful to women and wanted to avoid anything that could hurt a woman so I decided MB would be a deterrent). After I hit the age of about 21 I could not over come my addiction, and considered myself a pitiful excuse, then decided to legitimately end my life by inducing diabetic shock. I should mention that I have type 1 diabetes, and I should also mention that before about 20, I hated everything about it. I now accept it and thank god for the challenge that it is, because it really has HONESTLY taught me so much. Anyway I will not go into my suicide as it is incredibly grim, it was planned and the things that occurred during the attempt are pretty sacred. I'm not saying I saw an angel but things happened, my eyes were opened, and ... I just figured it out I guess, I understood what I was doing and how horribly selfish it was.

Anyway, I went through a little bit of counseling for the suicide, but the big issue is pornography.

As I said I fell away from the church when I was 18, I came back when I was about 22 and a half, or 23. I woke up one morning and had this heart wrenching feeling, I remember it like yesterday, it was so vivid. I told myself to analyze the feeling and try and understand what was happening, time would not tell, I had this feeling for a while. Gradually over time I started thinking about church, and how I never REALLY believed in god, or gave the church a chance, an honest chance. I was born into this religion and felt like I was just doing what my parents wanted me to do, not really what I wanted to do. But was that really it? was doing the opposite of what my parents had taught me really who I was, or was it just an attempt to find out who I was? I quickly realized that I was trying to be someone that I am not, but who am I really? Honestly? I am the nicest person I know, and I grew up thinking nice guys finished last... I grew up thinking I wanted to change that, but now? I know I cannot change it, and I do not want to. I want to stay the way I am, and grow up to be like my dad, haha, I want to do things that no one would ever want to see on t.v. (boring things, not things that are unclean haha). The thought of church kept coming and I decided to pray, and when I did I'm not going to say that I had some amazing thought or whatever happened, but I did go see a bishop, who helped me find out what to do, and then pointed me to the right direction, which led me to a new ward, and to my last bishop (who is probably one of my best friends now) then lead me to where I am now. 24 years old, and still trying to serve a mission, I am trying my hardest, mixing school, work, and church, trying to study, go on splits, and do what I can to keep myself busy.

I wish that my short story wasn't this long, but seriously I cut so much stuff out, like the diabetic coma and working with my last bishop, I have learned so much and I know it's because of god, because there is no chance that I am alive because of genetics, or luck, or whatever you want to call it, god was there with me, every step of the way.

anyway, thanks to whoever reads this, I hope you can find the courage to tell me anything , say something, just to show support. I'll email you Moroni so you can have my address, I'd just rather keep it public so I can get multiple opinions and weigh ideas.

Geralt."
posted at 02:25:30 on July 17, 2012 by Geralt
Thanks HURT    
"you really helped me feel the spirit and enjoy what you read, and gave me hope. I am really impressed that you have done so well, and am so happy for your progress. I am glad that you don't give up and came right out with your problem and didn't just accept it.

I'll seek guidance, but I really honestly have almost no time on my schedule, I work and when I'm not working I'm going to school, I have a summer semester and I did get my associates about two weeks ago, but I still have one more class and a bachelors to work on. I had a huge scare about our last Sunday school lesson, because it was about burying and pushing aside all our old sins, and the things that keep us close to those sins or weaknesses, and my major has much to do with computers. I thought it was a sign from god to find another path because I'm not absolutely sure about this career path, but I feel like I will still give it a try. Anyway, I will try and find some sort of program.... But honestly I have almost no idea on how to do or start this, and find a sponsor, should I just go to a meeting and just attend and find a group or something? I really like the thought about someone calling my BS because I feel like bishops can be way too forgiving, and I found myself in my head thinking, why isn't this guy yelling at me and telling me to try harder? But they speak with the spirit and do their job well, I think it's what I needed to hear at the time because we all have the strength to overcome all of these issues ourselves, we just have to push incredibly hard.

anyway, thanks for your response, I felt the spirit when I read it and it helped me think hard and long about how serious this is, and how much more effort I should put into it.

Geralt."
posted at 13:49:23 on July 17, 2012 by geralt
Thanks HURT    
"you really helped me feel the spirit and enjoy what you read, and gave me hope. I am really impressed that you have done so well, and am so happy for your progress. I am glad that you don't give up and came right out with your problem and didn't just accept it.

I'll seek guidance, but I really honestly have almost no time on my schedule, I work and when I'm not working I'm going to school, I have a summer semester and I did get my associates about two weeks ago, but I still have one more class and a bachelors to work on. I had a huge scare about our last Sunday school lesson, because it was about burying and pushing aside all our old sins, and the things that keep us close to those sins or weaknesses, and my major has much to do with computers. I thought it was a sign from god to find another path because I'm not absolutely sure about this career path, but I feel like I will still give it a try. Anyway, I will try and find some sort of program.... But honestly I have almost no idea on how to do or start this, and find a sponsor, should I just go to a meeting and just attend and find a group or something? I really like the thought about someone calling my BS because I feel like bishops can be way too forgiving, and I found myself in my head thinking, why isn't this guy yelling at me and telling me to try harder? But they speak with the spirit and do their job well, I think it's what I needed to hear at the time because we all have the strength to overcome all of these issues ourselves, we just have to push incredibly hard.

anyway, thanks for your response, I felt the spirit when I read it and it helped me think hard and long about how serious this is, and how much more effort I should put into it.

Geralt."
posted at 13:50:06 on July 17, 2012 by geralt
Real Simple Advice    
"I have a tip for you, I was addicted to pornogrophy from the age of 10, and for 8 years I was bound in the devil's snare. I am now 19 and am pure and clean before God, all because of his divine holy and amazing grace (favor). If you plan on serving a mission and you are doing your hardest, good for you! Make an effort to pray right when you wake up, and before you go to sleep, and pray sincerely, and until your knees start hurting. Also read your scriptures, read and pray for understanding, how what your reading fits into the big picture, so to speak, until it becomes beautiful unto you. Thirdly, serve. You said you work, go to school, and other activitys. Serve your coworkers, help your school mates, the more you forget about yourself, the better. I said my advice would be simple, it really is. Just do exactly what you think you would be doing if you were serving your mission."
posted at 17:01:55 on July 17, 2012 by regal777


Add a Comment:


***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)








help
join
"Now brethren, the time has come for any one of us who is so involved to pull himself out of the mire, to stand above this evil thing, to “look to God and live” (Alma 37:47). We do not have to view salacious magazines. We do not have to read books laden with smut. We do not have to watch television that is beneath wholesome standards. We do not have to rent movies that depict that which is filthy. We do not have to sit at the computer and play with ographic material found on the Internet."

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004