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Why I am the way I am OR Why am I this way!
By jacqueline
7/12/2012 11:59:00 AM
I hate how I think in perverted ways. I rationalize that that it is okay to "feel good" because it is only me, my body. I have thought a lot about my life this week and how I got here. In my life I have been used sexually, raped, cheated on and brutalized. The thing I hate the most is that it makes me sick to think of what I have lived through BUT I have thoughts/fantasies about future scenarios. I just want to forget everything, I have good days and bad days. Today is bad.

Comments:

Give yourself a break    
"Sounds like you have had a rough life. That doesn't mean you can allow yourself to continue to make more mistakes, but it does mean you can say, "It's understandable that I am this way, that I have these thoughts and desires. I have been mistreated; anyone with my experiences would have the same struggles and trials and temptations. So, I am not a bad person because I have these thoughts. But I CAN learn to control them by turning my mind and heart and time and everything over to the Lord. He CAN rescue me from myself and my past. I am not my past. Because of Him, I am a new creature.""
posted at 12:18:22 on July 12, 2012 by beclean
To have balance it has to be    
"You asked how I started. It was all my fault. When I was 10, I started reading a particular young adult series. I then read her adult romance series. At first it disgusted me, but then I started to like it. My parents had a book business and as a result I could get as many as I wanted. When I was 12, I started masturbating. I have struggled with that for the past 4 years.
It sounds like this isn't all your fault like it is mine. There's a talk in Women's Conference, The uses of adversity by Carlfred something.

I have found that when I only have good days, I tend to lose sight of why the other days were bad. I tend to justify, to go"Oh, it didn't really make me feel bad." Or I start taking things for granted. Read D&C 121, Jacob 3:1-2. "
posted at 09:31:27 on July 15, 2012 by anon16


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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006