Why I am the way I am OR Why am I this way!
By jacqueline
7/12/2012 11:59:00 AM
I hate how I think in perverted ways. I rationalize that that it is okay to "feel good" because it is only me, my body. I have thought a lot about my life this week and how I got here. In my life I have been used sexually, raped, cheated on and brutalized. The thing I hate the most is that it makes me sick to think of what I have lived through BUT I have thoughts/fantasies about future scenarios. I just want to forget everything, I have good days and bad days. Today is bad.


Give yourself a break    
"Sounds like you have had a rough life. That doesn't mean you can allow yourself to continue to make more mistakes, but it does mean you can say, "It's understandable that I am this way, that I have these thoughts and desires. I have been mistreated; anyone with my experiences would have the same struggles and trials and temptations. So, I am not a bad person because I have these thoughts. But I CAN learn to control them by turning my mind and heart and time and everything over to the Lord. He CAN rescue me from myself and my past. I am not my past. Because of Him, I am a new creature.""
posted at 12:18:22 on July 12, 2012 by beclean
To have balance it has to be    
"You asked how I started. It was all my fault. When I was 10, I started reading a particular young adult series. I then read her adult romance series. At first it disgusted me, but then I started to like it. My parents had a book business and as a result I could get as many as I wanted. When I was 12, I started masturbating. I have struggled with that for the past 4 years.
It sounds like this isn't all your fault like it is mine. There's a talk in Women's Conference, The uses of adversity by Carlfred something.

I have found that when I only have good days, I tend to lose sight of why the other days were bad. I tend to justify, to go"Oh, it didn't really make me feel bad." Or I start taking things for granted. Read D&C 121, Jacob 3:1-2. "
posted at 09:31:27 on July 15, 2012 by anon16

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" Is it possible to reclaim a life that through reckless abandon has become so strewn with garbage that it appears that the person is unforgivable? Or what about the one who is making an honest effort but has fallen back into sin so many times that he feels that there is no possible way to break the seemingly endless pattern? Or what about the person who has changed his life but just can't forgive himself?The Atonement of Jesus Christ is available to each of us. His Atonement is infinite. It applies to everyone, even you. It can clean, reclaim, and sanctify even you. That is what infinite means—total, complete, all, forever. "

— Shayne M. Bowen

General Conference October 2006