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don't masturbate
By Gondor44646
5/9/2012 11:58:11 PM
Sorry I'm being selfish. I'm sucking the life out of any resource I have and I don't care...

Don't masturbate, don't masturbate, Please don't do it. Do not look at Porn, don't do it. God Loves you he will forgive you. I will forgive you. I will forgive you the Gondor, you don't have to do that anymore. Don't masturbate, you don't have to do it. You have already stopped, don't worry about the past 14 15 16 17 18 19... The pain is gone let it be done in Christ. Don't Masturbate don't masturbate, You are older now, you understand.Don't let your past hurt you. I don't know why you couldn't stop then, but you can stop now. Don't masturbate don't masturbate don't look at porn...

Sorry...

I'm actually ok right now, nothing bad has happened. I'm not really tempted or anything... I have been free for awhile now, I don't want to let go of the past, I want to hate myself, I want to hate myself for not being able to stop back then, after all my sadness and I would not stop. And now it is all done and I feel cheated. I sin in my thought, wants wrong with me. I'm not perfect, thats what's wrong with me, I needed a savior, that's what I kept forgetting, I can't do this on my own, even if I wanted too, it was beyond me and what I did not know, and I needed to learn and now with my weakness I have learned and I was thrust down to humility, and I begged God to save me, and now am I mad? Because I could not take the glory, am I evil like the devil? That I could exalt myself? I could not, and God was merciful, and will help anybody who is in need that will seek for it..

Oh God, please save me from my stupidity, and please help me let go of my tortured teenaged past.

Amen...

Sorry...

Comments:

hmmm    
"sorry but I simply disagree. I believe people should focus on one thing at a time, and since I haven't hear of most people watching porn without masturbating. So it would make more sense to focus on the pornography problem first.

Masturbation does not have the same severity of sin and consequence as pornography. Porn is a disgusting business that degrades humans and poisons the minds of youth and adults. You simply can't say the same about masturbation. I think it would be great if teens didn't masturbate, I think wed all be better off. But it happens, you can't argue that it doesn't because us Mormon guys are terrified of being judged. That guilt almost pushes us further from the spirit and sometimes into porn.

I don't equate porn and masturbation. Once you and your bishop think you have pornograpy under control , then try to better yourself by working on masturbation. People try to take on the whole world but are usually crushed. Realize your limits and take on little by little and try to understand that there are steps to recovery. It's not one big leap, although you can take a leap of faith.

best of luck, guilt for masturbation before porn gets us nowhere."
posted at 00:57:26 on May 10, 2012 by moronidenovo
Hmmmm    
"I disagree that masturbation is any less of a sin than porn and masturbation... they are both a means to an end (climax). Sin is sin... regardless of that sin."
posted at 01:53:30 on May 10, 2012 by Anonymous
Hmm...    
"I'm sorry Moronidenovo, I love you, but I also disagree, you don't know me to well, (but I don't know you too well either) Neither Masturbation nor Pornography are the real problem, the problem is within ourselves. These outward sins are the effect of an even greater problem, I believe you can find that in Step 4 of the 12 Steps."
posted at 08:20:00 on May 10, 2012 by Gondor44646
I'm Anon2...    
"I agree with Anon1 and Gondor,

You simply cannot work on only pornography or masturbation while allowing the other and make any headway against the root causes of the addiction. Lust is present for both, and the dopamine rush that you are still addicted to is still getting fed to you. In reality, while you're cutting out one path of getting that dopamine rush, you are feeding the other and it will continue to get a stronger grip on you.

Sexual addiction is too powerful to hack away at piecemeal. You have to either remove all unwanted behavior or be prepared to live with some of the all your life."
posted at 09:41:11 on May 10, 2012 by Anonymous
Anon2 again...    
"Gondor:

I have been hating myself for the better part of the last several years. Despite my wife re-affirming to me that she loved me over and over again. Despite her telling me that I am, in reality, a good person. Despite receiving flashes of revelation that Christ does love me and is my mediator pleading my cause in Heaven... I wanted to hate myself too.

It was what I had grown used to through years and years and years of conditioning. But the truth is, you ARE a good man. Your Heavenly Father DOES love you. And despite the lies Satan has been whispering to us for so long, men ARE that they might have joy. The atonement happened not only so that we can be saved from our sins, but so that we can have piece and true happiness in this life. I know from personal experience that it is hard to stop hating yourself. But it is worth it, and you can do it.

I recently found this talk helpful...

Text: http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=13436&x=59&y=9
Video: http://byutv.org/watch/49475abb-10d4-4f45-a757-7000b9945468 "
posted at 09:46:57 on May 10, 2012 by Anonymous
There is a heirarchy of sin    
"I don't know why you guys say there isn't. Stealing, killing, lying, cheating, killing, raping. Idk the actual names and order but not all sins are equal. Some require confession while others can be worked out between yourself and jesus. Some sin can be resolved with the bishop, others require discipline from the authorities. The idea of every sin being the same is ridiculous.

yes, mast. And porn are sexual sins but that doesn't mean you take the same approach in recovery. They are different because one involves only yourself while the other affects thousands of people. Not only that, but what goes through your mind when you try to stop one is different. Porn is almost a lifestyle and habit that is ambeded into your routine. If masturbation was your only isue, you can work on iit but it doesn't have that extremely negative impact on your spirit like pornography.,,

gondor you said I don't know you and that's true. But I'll tell you that I've been ONLY focus on porn, and I've improved a lot. I used to look@porn everyday. I've looked at porn once in the past month. I ask you to try my process, because that's what it is. What do you have to lose.

Has the way you've been fighting worked?"
posted at 17:29:15 on May 10, 2012 by moronidenovo
Moroni    
"You've looked at porn once in the past month? Uhh... and you think we should try your method. Get a few years under your belt, then we can see if your approach works."
posted at 17:46:39 on May 10, 2012 by Anonymous
Ha!    
"Nice how you made Gondor's struggle about you and how you seem to have all the answers."
posted at 17:47:31 on May 10, 2012 by Anonymous
Anything that separates us from God...    
"Anything that separates us from God is a Sin and can stop our progression. Especially when it deals with elements of our addiction.

It's ok Moronidenovo, I'm not doubting what you have to say. I don't think it has to be wrong if anybody wants to put a scale for sin, as so long as you recognize that there is root to all of these sins... For me, it doesn't matter which sin is worse, it is the symptom of an even greater problem, our unwillingness to surrender our will to God... It will manifest itself in several different ways, (many times in our personality), ((this "root" becomes the theme for the need of the atonement)) it can be in the form of Pride, Anger, Sadness, resentment, passiveness, apathy etc... For me, it was not until I attacked the root of the addiction that the outward sin (masturbation, pornography) stopped. You can learn a lot about this in Step 4 of the 12 Steps...

The purpose of the subject line of my post doesn't mean Masturbation > Porn. (It's unfortunate I'm selfish when I post) I throw up my feelings and my emotions when I post I don't always contribute back. Masturbation was a horrible stupid thing for me, it was the outward sin, (it was not the real problem) it was not until I looked at my problem honestly that I realized my greater weakness. ( Step 4 O_o please read Step 4 )

I'm doing very well, I'm not always in danger. But others will notice that I am still not finished and although I have stopped the pain is still there... Step 6, 7, 8..."
posted at 00:11:41 on May 11, 2012 by Gondor44646
Interesting correlation.    
"again, the anonymous people to cowardly to be followed with a name. It's not hard to make an account, of course it's easier to to opiniate in a negative way when you hide under a mask. The 2 reasons I commented on this Post was because 1st I disagreed with his statement (hope we can have difference of opinion in America?) and 2nd I wanted to give my own advice and perspective. Honestly neither of you have suggested anything to help him, you've just talked about me haha.

@gondor. Anything? Wow that could be, well everything then. My point is not to say masturbation is wrong but to that it's just one part of the issue and personaly I believe the last part of the issue. My whole post was not to say masturbation is less of a sin than porn (which it is) but to say work on the more grievious one that affects more people. It's also just an obvious observation. You can enjoy porn without masturbation, but you can masturbate without porn. So if you solve one that doesn't require the other, you have one left. How much easier is it to tackle one problem???

If that helps you simply STOP sooner, then why not do it. You can't repent if you repeat your sin, you stop dead in the repentence process. If your only issue was masturbation, that would be easier to control and regulate. I bet you would be on your mission right now. But the pornography is what's keeping you from serving one, and that's not enough motivation to try something different, I don't know what is.

insanity: do the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

the only reason I'm taking time out of my day and writing this, is to help you. What have those Anonymous people done but tried to bring me down. Those kind of people contribute nothing to a discussion and honestly don't even help people.

I hope I help you in some way because that's why I write.

it's AMAZING, the congratulations I got for my sobriety. Thanks Anonymous 1 and 2, you guys work well as a tag team. 1, I love the tone. I've seen people post on here with 2 days sobriety and ppl pour with support, thanks for making my progress a joke. Anonymous 2, um, I was trying to give some evidence to my theory that's why I mentioned myself."
posted at 01:12:42 on May 11, 2012 by moronidenovo
Moroni Bro    
"Congrats on one month without porn. You deserve love and positive comments for that. Keep doing what works for you, and people will be more apt to appreciate your suggestions when you have been free of lust for years."
posted at 18:23:19 on May 11, 2012 by beclean
this is why cross talking isnt allowed in 12step meetings    
"The shoulds and oughts and musts create defensiveness and hurt feelings. we speak in I terms to avoid this. Show what is working for us personally. If moronis approach works for him great. Take what works and leave the rest.

I have found that avoiding fantasy was important. I found that when I had the urge to fantasize, that if I got up, moved and did something else worked for me. It was inconvenient when i was laying in bed or on the couch on a lazy afternoon, but when i caught the precursor thought patterns and changed, i was successful. I had 357 days free of Mb and then i let myself slip into a mental state aroused next to wife and lost it. Essentially, if i would have followed my own advice, I probably would have survived.

What hasn't worked for me was praying or meditating when I was tempted. I have 20yrs of experience that that strategy didn't work for me.

Everyone's method that works is different. If you want it bad enough, you will get it on the lords time table."
posted at 10:29:39 on May 12, 2012 by hurtallover
:)    
"Thank You BeClean, for your support and congrats. I hope we all get free of any and all addictions, I wish I could say I wil be soon but you simply never know. Best of luck to everyone.

@HurtAllOver that's the problem, this isn't even face to face like a meeting. Anybody can say anything, especially when they are in the Anonymous mask. Yes, I'm just trying to help that's why I wrote, take some, all, I don't care, whatever helps.

I feel that a single guy and a married man have different challenges. No ofense, but most married guys do have sex once a week and that's a form of release. Because of te Law of Chastitity, we as mormons can't do that. Hormones go crazy @these young years and so sometimes it's not even about temptations. But I realize that you, Hurtallover, said your wife limits it so your an exception to that I guess.

good luck ppl, porn is disgusting and I'm happier everyday I don't use it."
posted at 17:14:15 on May 13, 2012 by moronidenovo
Moroni    
"Congrats on not giving into porn. I am so proud of you. Everyday that we say no to sin, is another day that we are moving closer to Jesus Christ. And everyday that we are moving closer to our Savior is another step closer to our true eternal purpose. It is the place where God can begin to remake you into the masterpiece we are meant to be.

I must correct you on the married vs single thing. If you read in the white book from SA, which I highly recommend to every SA on this site, it explaines that lust in any form is wrong. In that case, some marrieds believe that being single and sober is easier. Your wife is not a substitute for the stimulation of artificial sex. And the big lie that many believe is that having sex somehow makes it easier. If you are still lusting even in marriage, you are not truly healing.

Healing must take place first, and many of the successful recovering addicts I have met went through a period of abstainance first. yes that means no sex, even with the wives. Sex is not intimancy and if the addict uses it in the form of lust, he will not be able to truly connect with his wife. Lust is not beautiful, it is authored by the evil one, and is to be avoided if the addict truly wants to be freed from addiction. Unfortunatly the absence of porn or masterbation is not necessarily sobriety. Ever hear of a "dry drunk"?

When Christ becomes the center of all we do... every minute of every day, sobriety brings healing and then the addict is in a position to help those he has harmed, just by the example of his life. He is in a position to truly make that Godlike love connection with his wife. And that connection cannot compare with what the world calls sex.

Again Moroni, I am so happy that you are moving forward. Your name fits you well You are an amazing young man and if I were your Mom, I would be so proud of you.

Don't let anything keep you from feeling the love of your Savior.

Angel"
posted at 17:48:33 on May 13, 2012 by angelmom
thank you thank you    
"I appreciate your support. I want to be better now, and before it wasn't like that. It was always about porn and my mind was always so blank. So simply being away from porn helps soooo much.

the reason I mentioned married couple was just to compare masturbation in youth and married people who have that release through sex. I was not talking about porn addicts, that's a whole different situation because it's never enough even when ur married. That's why a lot of men cheat and go to strip clubs. I'll be making a well written aruguement on only masturbation in a few weeks or so.

thanks again for the support."
posted at 02:56:52 on May 16, 2012 by moronidenovo


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"Now brethren, the time has come for any one of us who is so involved to pull himself out of the mire, to stand above this evil thing, to “look to God and live” (Alma 37:47). We do not have to view salacious magazines. We do not have to read books laden with smut. We do not have to watch television that is beneath wholesome standards. We do not have to rent movies that depict that which is filthy. We do not have to sit at the computer and play with ographic material found on the Internet."

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004