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The worst day in recovery vs. the best day in addiction
By justjohn
4/28/2012 11:09:18 PM
I was lying on the couch the other day having a pity party for one. I was wallowing in stress and frustration. I had a motorcycle wreck a week ago Friday. Reader’s Digest version: The bike lost a foot peg and front brake lever, one handle bar is bent and the fairing and saddle bag on one side got scrapped up. I broke a couple of ribs and bruised the lung on the right side, broke a bone in my left wrist, banged up my right shoulder and had some minor road rash. I do wear protective gear. The most frustrating thing physically is a muscle spasm that kicked in that night pinching a nerve in my spine and torquing on the broken ribs. That pain is through the roof.

Anyway back to the pity party, I had various concerns running through my head; all the medical bills associated with the wreck, the repairs that need to be done to the bike, wondering how long it will be before my wife will be OK with me being back on a bike, concerns about transportation to work (I have to insert here that my daughter and I share my car when I am not riding a motorcycle. She got rear-ended in that car on Wednesday and the car isn’t usable. Even though I have another bike it isn’t even an option until I get my hand out of the cast.) I am not even sure I would be able to drive a car yet because using my right arm causes the back muscle to seize up resulting debilitating pain. I also had concerns about the time I will need to recover and a number of projects I need to do. I have been stressed about getting a second job to meet various expenses that pop up when you are supporting a wife and six kids, now with all the above things and another medical issue that I am dealing with it is just that much worse. I definitely felt justified in my feelings and was wallowing deep in the muck.

I have often said that the worst day in recovery is better than the best day in addiction. This thought hit me in the middle of my funk. As I started looking at the blessings I have, the list quickly grew: I have a wonder wife and six great kids, which is really something considering all that I have done. My wife prayed about leaving me twice during my addictive years. I could have easily ended up with just two kids whose time with me was dictated by the court. They have all shown me great kindness and service since I got banged up. My God is an AWESOME GOD! I not only know that now thanks to the 12 Steps, but I have a wonderful relationship with Him; much closer than I would have ever imagined in the old days of addiction. Through the power of His Grace I have had zero desire to act out during this situation. My daughter, the bike and I will all be fine in time. My daughter came out of the accident with just a bruised arm. The list could probably go on for some time, but the other thing that hit me was all the friends I have been blessed with in recovery. I sent out a mass text to a number of them and then I thought of all of you. I consider all of you my Step brothers and sisters as well. Even though some of us may never meet in this life-time I am sure we will have a wonderful reunion afterwards. I have been somewhat sporadic posting on here over the years, but it is nice to know that you are out here whenever I need a little boost. Whether I am up or down it is great to come here and read your thoughts and maybe add a few of my own. This has often been a place I come to when I feel the need, but can’t fit a meeting in. Thanks for all those times when I have come here and taken away a bit of that 12 Step meeting spirit.

None of the recent days have been my worst in recovery, but it is easy to feel like I am picked on when I listen to the lies Satan feeds me. The bottom line: Recovery always beats addiction, hands down. There is no problem that acting out can’t make worse.

Love you all,
John

Comments:

JustJohn    
"You're awesome, Brother! I really hope you have a speedy recovery! You are an inspiration to us all!"
posted at 08:43:22 on April 29, 2012 by Anonymous
Ditto    
"Great attitude and comments.Thank you!"
posted at 20:55:39 on April 29, 2012 by Anonymous
That's pretty crazy    
"I've always wanted to learn to ride a motorcycle, but the idea of getting in a crash is so scary. Anyway, glad your ok. It's true sometimes were ina pity party but soon realize there's a lot more to be ahppy for.

hope you have a quick recovery"
posted at 00:22:40 on May 1, 2012 by moronidenovo
Love this    
"I love this post. Gratitude is the mother of all other virtues. :)"
posted at 07:39:29 on May 2, 2012 by maddy


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"Strength comes from uplifting music, good books, and feasting from the scriptures. Since the Book of Mormon was to come forth “when there shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth” (Morm. 8:31), study of that book in particular will fortify us."

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988