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Day 12
By jja1234
4/24/2012 11:17:38 PM
Well... I'm on day 12. I hate to admit it but this is the farthest I've ever been on the road to recovery. Most days I struggle to fight off addiction but I find that with each passing day it gets easier. I find singing "Come thou fount of every blessing" really helps me to think of Christ rather than my addiction.

The good news is during my last meeting with my bishop I was told I was at a point where I was able to receive my patriarchal blessing. I'm so excited that my bishop feels that I'm worthy enough for that. He also says that he feels I've had a change of heart and that I will be able to receive the Melchizedek priesthood in a relatively short amount of time. (Assuming I stay on the right path)

I am confused though. Although my bishop feels that I'm worthy I can't help but still feel guilty. I've told him the truth about everything but something inside me still tells me that I havent done enough to be where he thinks I am. Am I just being to hard on myself? I understand that is a tough question to answer but I guess I'm just venting out loud.

Thanks for reading this! Little long i know.

Comments:

trap    
"Day 12 congratulations! Be proud of yourself. Addressing feeling guilty there can he two aspects to this. One there may be somethings that you still need to take care if. It could be things not even related to the addiction. Humbly ask Heavenly Father if there is anything else you need to take care of.

Second I know I have gone through cycles where I have been in recovery for months and still feel guilt for past actions. This is the work of the adversary. He wants you to hold onto guilt forever because he knows it will drive you back to your addiction where he can trap you.

Pray to Heavenly Father sincerely and ask for help and strength to remove the guilt you have. For it can and will happen for I have seen it happen in my own life. Don't get stuck in satans web of lies and deceit."
posted at 23:56:24 on April 24, 2012 by rachp
work recovery as well as repentance    
"Yay for your 12 days. Are you doing 12-step work? Are you getting professional help? Experts have come to realize that addiction typically requires more than just meeting with a bishop (as wonderful and important as that is). Learning to deal with the addiction as a disease and understand how it works will likely be an important step to take. I've heard so many men talk about stopping and then slipping and stopping and slipping. Recovery is about learning not to start again. Figuring out why you have gone back to it. What hole it's trying to fill. And then learning to let God fill that hole.

Recovery will take time. Do the work to prevent starting again."
posted at 02:18:27 on April 25, 2012 by Anonymous


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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006