Don't know what to do
By anon16
4/19/2012 9:57:27 AM
I met with my bishop last night. He's very disappointed in me. I'm back to reporting - this time for both porn and mb - before it was just mb.

Potentially I may be seeing him every week for a while. I'm debating on this. First is, it'd be 15 mins. Normally my every 2 week appointments are 30.

The thing that frustrated me, was that we are working on the first step. I answered the questions, etc and he asked me to bring it. I did, and he kept it. The next time I'm going to ask for it back. I don't mind him reading it per say, but I'd have written it differently if I knew he was going to keep it.

I honestly don't know what to do to stop this cycle. I'm trying to read more church material but I really don't feel like praying- its pointless. I've never been this low. How I look at it, is you can hit rock bottom - but there's always dynomite.

The things that are different with this, is visual porn. Before I've always just done textual. This week it's been both. I've never ever gone that far.


"What about going to meetings, or attending the phone-in meetings?"
posted at 12:15:22 on April 19, 2012 by chefdalet
"Right now its not possible for me. Otherwise I would. Just a little frustrated and trying to get through it. Not sure how I can make it through this, like I said worst I've been. I'm working at relying on the Lord"
posted at 17:32:30 on April 19, 2012 by anon16
I'm sad    
"Oh, I wish I could help. I wish I could share my personal success with you and others, so that you were successful, too. I wish I could keep you from the pain that comes when you hurt your spirit.

All I can do is pray for you, and I will. Unfortunately, this is an individual battle, and each of us must make the decision that there is NOTHING we want more in this life than to be close to Heavenly Father. That is a HARD decision to truly make.

Just keep going, Anon! Don't ever give up! You have been doing so well. Focus on the positive. You have so many good days behind you now, and that will help you to rebuild. There are and will be setbacks--it's to be expected, considering where you are coming from. Do you think Lucifer will let you go that easy? You can't just say, "I'm done...I'm out of the gang," and expect him to let you out. He will try in every way to tell you that "no one gets out."

Don't believe him. You can and will be free, if you keep reaching out for Jesus. You already know that you can be free for a couple weeks, maybe even a couple of months. So why not a couple years and a couple decades? You can!

Have you seen the Lifehouse "everything" skit? (Link below) There are parts of it I don't like and parts I really like, but I think it teaches a great message. Jesus loves you. He WILL save you. Just keep reaching for him with everything you can, and he WILL save you."
posted at 21:09:03 on April 20, 2012 by BeClean

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"You lived with your Heavenly Father in a premortal life. You were there with Him. Your spirit knows what it is like to live in celestial realms. You can never be truly happy in an uncelestial environment. You know too much. That is one of the reasons that for you, wickedness never can be happiness. What a great thing it is to decide once and for all early in life what you will do and what you will not do with regards to honesty, modesty, chastity, the Word of Wisdom, and temple marriage. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006