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When in denial
By stoptheabuse
4/15/2012 1:20:43 AM
For years I have hoped I would get validation from my spouse about his porn addiction. Now as we move on with other things in life- like the part where he sexually abused our children and we are getting a divorce. I see this pattern. He denies it and blames ANYONE and ANYTHING but himself.

I have been involved with classes through my childrens abuse and I have learned some really important things there.

* Don't seek any kind of validation from someone you know you won't get it from*
Even if your not in a position like mine. I still was seeking validation years ago before things got to be this bad. I wish that someone had told me to not push like I did. I wanted him to see my points of view SO badly!!

*Unless something has changed or there is a new solution don't push it*
I constantly wanted to talk about the addiction. It was destroying my family!!! I didn't realize how my obsession made it so that he didn't want to talk to me about it.

*Being able to see when the abuse has sucked you dry*
About 2 years ago I ran dry. I had nothing left to give. And instead of realizing that things were that unhealthy- I kept going the rounds. It really effected my self esteem and the relationship that I had with others, including my children. I had nothing left to offer them after I had spend all my time and energy on my husband.

I have learned so many more things. I am just too tired to keep posting.

Comments:

What?    
"Im sorry but a man who sexually abuses a child should not be considered a man. That's disgusting and terrible. If someone wants to destroy themselves fin, but that person doesn't need to ruin other peoples lives. Hope the best for you and your children."
posted at 23:45:54 on April 15, 2012 by moronidenovo


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"In recent years, as I have sung the hymns of the Atonement, it has been with an especially full heart—and also with full voice, when I can continue to sing—lines such as “How great thou art,” “I scarce can take it in,” “To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,” “I stand all amazed,” and “Oh, it is wonderful!”"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987