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Today is a new day
By FatherOfOne
4/9/2012 11:22:10 AM
Well I signed up for this site a whole back but I couldn't get my old account. I stopped posting because I became frustrated with myself and writing about it wasn't helping. It has taken a long time for me to get to the point that I could really be in step 1. I wasn't honest with myself or my spouse, but last night conversation happened to turn to pornography and masturbation. A couple years ago I talked to her about it, and for almost a year, we were okay. Then I slipped, but having seen how bad it hurt her the first time I couldn't tell her again, so I vowed that I wouldn't do it again. I did that every time it happened for two years. So last night I confessed to her again, and I am going to talk to the bishop this week. I am more committed now than ever to putting this behind me for good. In reality, I feel like while my addiction is a problem, it is really a problem with my testimony and my relationship with Heavenly Father. I pray that as I go through the steps that I will be able to develop that relationship with him, and allow Him back into our home. My wife is so awesome and supportive, and I love her so much, and I am looking forward to a life without this addiction hovering over me.

Comments:

You can do this!    
"I just got this really happy feeling when I read this. I don't know why. But something about a dad improving himself so that he can have a good relationship with his wife and kid makes me smile. I guess I wish I had that as a kid. Keep it up :)"
posted at 18:51:37 on April 9, 2012 by Iamstrong
@IAmStrong    
"Thanks, man. :) It's been kind of a rough day, but all things considered I'm feeling good about it."
posted at 22:18:05 on April 9, 2012 by FatherOfOne
Never give up.    
"It comes down to what you want more. When ever I am feeling weak or tempted, I ask myself, what do I want more? My wife and beautiful family or this sin that is leading me no where. Your love for your wife and family can become a huge driving force. At the same time there is not one day where I am completely dependent on Heavenly Father to strengthen me in whatever circumstance I am in. Read the most recent talk by Elder Bednar in this month's Ensign. Awesome. Good luck. It is always comforting knowing other Fathers are fighting this together."
posted at 06:50:47 on April 10, 2012 by Leo
Steps    
"What a HUGE step you have taken!! Good for you! Being on the other side and being a spouse- a post like this amazes me. Because my spouse didn't choose me or our kids over porn.
Take faith in that knowledge that no matter how hard it gets- you can face the truth with the Lord to help you!"
posted at 01:10:14 on April 15, 2012 by stoptheabuse


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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006