Are the holidays hard for you?
By doanair
1/3/2007 10:47:50 AM
I have heard it many times: the holiday season is not good for addicts. I have stopped to think about that statement several times and decided it did not apply to me very much. But I have re-evaluated that thought after this past holiday season. Here are some reasons why:

The holiday season is a time of intense stress for me. Stress getting presents for everyone. Stress trying to get everything planned. Stress trying to juggle busy schedules and get to all the planned activities. Stress dealing with family dynamics. Stress dealing with the effects of stress...

The holidays are also a time of extreme insecurity and self-doubt. I really struggle getting people presents because it feels like my gifts to others are way too connected with my self worth. Particularly with gifts for my wife. Christmas has been hard in the past because my selfishness and procrastination in getting gifts for my wife.

I also get out of my routine. I often fail to read and pray like normal.

I stay up late at night a lot as well. That is a really big trigger for me. When I am tired and up late at night, bad things seem to happen easily.

I also end up going to the mall quite often which is NOT GOOD for a me. There are too many people to stare at, too many women dressed immodestly and too many stores with inappropriate advertisements, etc... You know what I mean.

I was able to avoid acting out and serious problems. By God's grace and goodness, I was just fine, but it is harder than normal. I can see why this season is harder on us addicts.

Are the holidays hard for you too??


New Year's has always been tough for me    
"For me, Christmas has actually been a little easier through the years, I think, at least when it comes to my pornography addiction. But if I'm honest, the reason is basically because I've let another addiction of mine take precedence - spending money. I think so many of us have developed addictive tendencies over the years as a way of dealing with the real world and real feelings. Food, video games, wasting time, TV, movies, and spending money are just some of the many outlets which we use to escape the real world. So I think Christmas, with all the good food, TV shows, football games, and spending money, has typically been easier for me because I found my escape in so many of those other ways and didn't depend so much on pornography for my escape. I do agree, though, that the frequent shopping trips to the mall and such can be challenging. I guess I didn't really think about it too much this year, because I gave my wife new scriptures from the distribution center and made her a ping pong table with supplies all bought at Lowe's - so those things kept me from having to spend too much time in the stores thankfully.

But for some reason, I have always struggled a lot around New Year's. I remember just about every year growing up that I hated New Years. I would get so depressed. I remember going to the Stake youth dance for New Years eve when I was in high school and just hating everything about it and wanting to just go home. And of course, pornography was always there to help me escape those feelings. I don't know if those feelings had anything to do with my pornography addiction or were just the result of the post Christmas letdown and all those other good things being over with. But I do know that this New Year's eve, just like Christmas this year, was different for me. I was excited on New Year's eve. We had a good dinner with just our little family, and the main thing I was excited about was that I was starting a new year and I have the opportunity to make it my first full "addiction-free" year since my mission. I guess I kind of look at it as a starting over or a renewal, but in the good sense. NOT because I'd messed up and now I HAVE to start over, but because I've had a great 8 months and am looking forward to now having a great year to add onto that. So anyway, there's some of my thoughts."
posted at 13:46:12 on January 3, 2007 by derek
a vacation...    
"During the break, my husband had more time off work, and no school. He was home a lot, and we did really well reading, studying, and doing things together as a family.

The late nights made me worry a little, but he did pretty good going to bed when I did.

It's now that he is back at work that I worry.

I'm hoping since we did so well reading and praying together that the habit will continue now that life is going back to it's regular busy schedule.

I had the same thought about new years as Derek, how wonderful to have the chance at a whole new year with no pornography in it. I'm hoping..."
posted at 10:16:45 on January 10, 2007 by sophie

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"Now, my brothers and sisters, let not Jesus’ redemption for us stop at the immortalizing dimension of the Atonement, “the loosing of the bands of death”. Let us grasp the proffered gift of eternal life! We will end up either choosing Christ’s manner of living or His manner of suffering! It is either “suffer even as I”, or overcome “even as [He] … overcame”. His beckoning command is to become “even as I am”. The spiritually settled accept that invitation, and “through the atonement of Christ,” they become and overcome! "

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987