Day 6
By anon16
3/31/2012 9:01:24 AM
I slipped up several days ago, and I'm still dealing with it. I wasnt prepared. I didn't care. Afterwards I really did. I felt awful. The thing that scared me us that I felt no different. The only difference is that I knew I didn't have the spirit.

I felt like I was in a cloud of darkness for several days. I'm not completely it yet.
What made it a lot worse, is, I messed up on Saturday. I took the sacrament the next day. My stupid pride. My bishop didn't tell me either way, so, I figured,"its OK, he didn't tell me not to"

Six days of soberity, and I still feel the darkness trying to get me, if that makes sense. I'm in Utah for the weekend with my bishop and his family. Don't get m

Wrong, I really like everyone in his family, but in a lot of ways I feel left out occasionally because of how much they are a family. The other guy who us with USA also does, I think but he is friends with the two older ones so its not as hard
But I think in some ways it is. Anyway, my biggest relief is that it hasn't been awkward with my bishop. It really really helps that he isn't in a suit, but is a normal guy. Part of me just really wants to talk to him and get it over with, but I wont. In some ways he is brother, not bishop on this trip.

I just got very discouraged, and am trying to make sense of it. I don't know if I should even go into temple foyers now.


"Your bishop sounds like a great person who has been a great support to you. Keep reaching out to him, even if it's when you get back. I assume you are in Utah for conference. Don't let the cloud of darkness reign over you for the weekend. What a great place to be when you are feeling so much discouragement. The adversary has you right where he wants, in the trap of shame, discouragement and unworthiness. Don't let the adversary take over and keep you trapped. Rise above and be the strong daughter of God you are. YOU are worth it. Keep your head up and reach our to your Savior to help you through this so you can take in the feeling of the Spirit you so desperately need.

I pray you are able to feel of the spirit and enjoy conference and your time in Utah. make the most of this weekend and keep moving forward."
posted at 10:43:00 on March 31, 2012 by rachp

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"Man has a dual nature; one, related to the earthly or animal life; the other, akin to the divine. Whether a man remains satisfied within what we designate the animal world, satisfied with what the animal world will give him, yielding without effort to the whim of his appetites and passions and slipping farther and farther into the realm of indulgence, or whether, through self-mastery, he rises toward intellectual, moral, and spiritual enjoyments depends upon the kind of choice he makes every day, nay, every hour of his life"

— David O. McKay