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Sorry to anyone I've offended for my comments
By moroni
3/25/2012 2:32:22 PM
Here is something BeClean said that I'm sure a lot of you were thinking.

"Can I be blunt and honest with you, Moroni? I like you and your individual, intelligent, questioning mind. I just can't figure out why you are here on this site. You ask all kinds of questions that seem to others of us who have been fighting (and winning) this battle with addiction to be a vague attempt to excuse or justify your actions. Then, when we tell you 1) the actions are not justified, 2) they can be overcome, 3) here are suggestions to help, 4) think, pray, and try these things for yourself, you respond as if you were completely unprepared for the answer. You become defensive that anyone would talk directly about your addiction, you refuse to try what has been suggested, you defend your life and your choices as if they need no adjustment, and you refuse to think seriously about the answer that has been provided to you by those who have gone before. If anyone makes a suggestion you may need to change your actions or your attitude, you become very defensive and almost angry. This quickly makes people not want to talk to you.

Almost all of us are on this site because we realize we are sinners, and we have things to improve. We know we need to change our actions and our attitude, and we are very willing to do it, if we could just figure out how. We're trying to get help from each other. We do not want to justify our actions.

We are all a little bit rebellious, that's why we're in trouble, but we want to learn how to overcome that. Are you in the same situation as the rest of us? Do you have a desire to change your actions and your attitude? Is that why you are here? Or, do you believe your life is just fine as it is, and you have no need to change?

If you want to continue to converse with people on this site, I invite you to take to heart the recommendations and thought that they express. Stop becoming defensive, and seriously consider whether their suggestions apply to you. Try not to defend any action or attitude that the prophets and your church leaders have said is wrong. Instead, consider that they are not trying to control you, but they are trying to keep you happy and safe. Ask yourself, why might those actions be wrong? Come up with a list of reasons, and then ask the lord if that is correct.

I care about you. I care about others on the site. I know that others on the site care about you, 2. I hope you can figure out how to respond with gratitude and careful consideration to the suggestion that they make."

posted at 10:48:00 on March 25, 2012 by beclean"

And I replied: BeClean thanks

"I'm not trying to offend people or make this site a debate. If I'm coming off in the you describe me as I'll lay off more. The only thing that frustrated me on this post was that people were turning to me instead of the Post itself. Each question I asked, are not questions I'm having trouble with personally. I was thinking that a good amount of young people out there have these exact same questions and hopefully if they come to this site they can see what you guys thought. I appreciate all you comments, I like them, but when I ask a question on one of your advices, its not to say its not legitimate. Im hoping that If a person reads your advice, and then has this same concern about ur advice, its answered. Im hoping to leave no stone unturned and every doubt vanquished. I want people to get better, i don't want people to be addicted to anything. My writing is a little different and i guess it hasn't grinded well with most people, and i apologize if i offended anyone.

To answer your question, I do want to become better. I have goals and hopes that I want to get to that will hopefully bring me to God. The thing is I've read a lot of Posts where a person puts out a concern and people give them good advice, and the person says thank I'll try better. But I know they might have a concern but dont know how to put it. But I honestly have trouble expressing my personal emotions and problems. Im good at thinking about things, but I'm not very good at talking about my own problems and feelings about them, that's why I usually dont make a lot of comments about my own problems. The "Masturbation and Marriage" post i tried to let you guys know it wasnt about me or my concerns.

I am going to be off of both Porn and masturbation. I want to, i want to go on a mission and get married in the temple. Its all in my sights, those are my plans. I hope none of you think that i dont appreciate your advice i do.

Thanks everyone. I hope you dont mind BeClean, but I'm going to make this a Post, so other people can see why i talk the way i do and as an apology to anybody ive offended in the past."

posted at 14:22:24 on March 25, 2012 by moroni"

My blogs continue with a different name. De Novo with Moroni

Comments:

This is ironic...    
"Moroni, a couple years back, beclean was pulling the same crap. I think you guys have a lot in common. (In a good way)"
posted at 19:49:34 on March 25, 2012 by Anonymous
I think you're both fantastic!    
"I've noticed that this site inherently has some misunderstandings and contention, but I appreciate your apology and Beclean's nice way of calling you out.

Also, Moroni, I was wondering about these baby steps you talk about from time to time. Where did you hear we should take baby steps? Why would baby steps be helpful? I've never heard anybody else talk about taking baby steps in the addiction, and I've done a fair amount of research on the topic of addiction.

I'm not saying taking baby steps is wrong, but I doubt their effectiveness because I've never heard a person with a considerable amount of sobriety talk about baby steps."
posted at 10:27:00 on March 26, 2012 by ETTE
An apology can be better than saying "I love you."    
"One of the biggest hazards of written conversations is that you can't hear a person's tone of voice. Many of us have histories of negative relationships where often questions were phrased in such a way as to imply that we are stupid. Many of us can tend to be overly sensitive. I am sure I'm not the only one on here who has been an emotional cripple. I also know I have stepped on people's feelings here on this site even after really trying to evaluate what I have written. I think we often have to give each other the benefit of the doubt that they aren't trying to cause offense and if a comment bugs us examine our own reasons for being offended. Satan will use every opportunity to get us to reject what could help us. When I find a comment painful sometimes it is because it pokes at a sore I wasn't ready to deal with yet. I heard someone once say, “The truth will set you free, but first it will tick you off!”

I love you all and I am glad we are all still here despite our family squabbles. Apologies are a wonderful thing."
posted at 22:44:32 on March 26, 2012 by justjohn


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"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:
  • Choose to Be Alive
  • Choose to Believe
  • Choose to Change
  • Choose to Be Different
  • Choose to Exercise
  • Choose to Be Free "

    — Russell M. Nelson

    General Conference, October 1988