Can you delete an old account?
By moroni
3/14/2012 2:06:11 AM
I'm switching to new a new one for multiple reasons. I'll do my best to transfer as much information possible from posts and comments. Also, will deleting my old Profile delete all past comments on other people's Posts and Blogs?

Last thong, my new accounts username doesn't have any uppercase letters, that actually bothers me. Is there any way to fix that or change the username? If not I guess I'll make another one and delete that one. So, again, is here any way to delete an old account??


"I think it could delete all of your comments on other's blogs. If you click on help in the upper left corner you can send a message to Derek and maybe he will answer your questions.

Everything in our names is always displayed in upper case so that shouldn't be a problem."
posted at 15:20:38 on March 14, 2012 by justjohn
I don't think so....    
"I haven't found a way to do much with my profile.

But anyway, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate you joining the group! You are really trying and I love it. You are active on the site and always trying to help the rest of us. I love it! But I wanna help you too. I wanna encourage you to talk to your Bishop. It will help you more than you can imagine. I promise that it is a step in the right direction. I promise."
posted at 21:25:26 on March 14, 2012 by iamstrong
Bummer, i dont see why you cant    
"@JustJihn Surely the creators should have some respect if someone wants to undo things. I'll wait for an answer.

@IAmStrong thanks, honestly this has kept me occupied from getting on porn. Honestly I feel different, reading other people's stores and what not ot moved me. But I know I have a lot of work to do, that's my real challenge. I almost forgot how to be Mormon, someone teach me lol. Seriously tho, I want to tell my bishop but in scared of the consequences of will have on my family, not necessarily myself (I do worry for that too, for my mom will see me because she is the sweetest person in the world)"
posted at 00:59:30 on March 15, 2012 by moroni
Forgot how to be Mormon?    
"Remember how to be Christian :) The Church is there to bring you closer to Christ. So being Mormon isn't just going to Church, paying your tithing, and doing good things. It is developing a relationship with your Savior. It is understanding that you will never be good enough. That you will never earn Heaven. That this isn't about what you've done.

This is about how you don't have to be perfect, you just need Christ. You don't earn a ticket to Heaven, Christ paid for your ticket. This is about what He's done for you.

It's all about Christ. The Gospel is that God loved you so He sent His Son to pay the price. That's it.

In some ways, this experience has brought me closer to the Gospel than if I hadn't had it. Before this problem, I just had my list of things I do and things I don't do. And I thought if I follow that list, God has to bless me. Well guess what, it's about more than a list. He's my family. I have to get to know Him. And God will never be in my debt. I will always be in His. And that is why I need to clean up my act. Not because it's on the list. But because when your Brother lays down His life for you, you act better. I love God because He loved me first.

Ok, this is getting long. But don't be scared of the consequences for your family. That thought isn't coming from God. He would never tell you to sit in sin and postpone repentance. What exactly are you scared of anyways? Your confession to the Bishop is confidential. The world isn't informed from the podium. And in your meeting with the Bishop you can ask him if he thinks you should talk to your parents about it. Some bishops, not all though, encourage you to so that your parents can help keep you accountable at home. I had the fear of disappointing my mom too. My dad still doesn't know. And he doesn't have to. But my mom does now. She doesn't know everything, just that I struggle with sexual addiction. She is supportive, she helps me. I didn't want her to think that this was her fault. It wasn't. So I sat her down and told her this:

"Mom, you might already have the feeling or know but I am meeting with the Bishop a lot because I've messed up. I struggle with sexual addiction. I can't go to the Temple right now. And I'm not taking the sacrament. But I'm developing a relationship with my Savior and I am closer to Him now than ever. I am happy now. I am getting better. I have been trapped in addiction for a long time now but when I realized that I was trapped, I remembered all the things that you had taught me. You taught me to pray when I felt sad and alone. You taught me to read my scriptures when I didn't know what to do. You taught me about the Atonement and repentance. Your words saved me. Don't ever think that my sins are your fault. Or that you let me down. Because that's the opposite of what you did. Without you, I'd still be trapped."

For me, it was like Alma the Younger. And my parents were Alma. Constantly praying and teaching me. Moroni, please don't put off confession. Please don't. I've been to my group meetings and on this site for a while now. I've watched kids come and go. Wanting to change is not enough. Pulling yourself out of addiction, protecting yourself, and doing everything yourself doesn't work. You need God. And you need to do it His way. He gives us the way that WORKS!"
posted at 03:18:21 on March 15, 2012 by iamstrong
"The comment about being Mormon, I just meant I havent been doing what I need. Seminary, church, family home evening scriptures etc and i the reason I said that was because I was thinking I want to be the best person I can be, "where do I get started". That's what was going through my mind at the time and I think if you do all those things it will help you get closer to god.

I'm not quite sure why you think I want to be perfect. I didn't say that but I do think I want to strive to be like Christ, the only true definition of perfection.

I think everything we go through makes us who we are. If I had a choice of going back in time and changing situations, I wouldn't. Because I would not exist, there would be another form of me.

Um, there are two big reasons I don't want my family to find out. First is that my mom would not be able to handle it. She's so pure and honest and I just think that she wouldn't be able to go through this. My other siblings have gone through a lot and in a way she sees my as the good hold who sets an example on them. -Second• is my dad is looking at porn. He doesn't know I know, but I do. He is addicted, and how could my mom handle two ppl in her family at once, the consequences could be crazy. So I just don't know how that would play out.

Its hard not to avoid confession right now with that kind of weight on my shoulders. But if thr bishop asks me directly, I won't lie."
posted at 18:22:06 on March 15, 2012 by moroni
Just trying to prompt...    
"I say a lot of things, just so that I can hear what you think. And I think that is great! You said where do I start? And then you listed great places to start, seminary, church, fhe, etc! Fill your life with great things that will bring you close to the Spirit. And Yes! You wanna strive to be like Christ :) Great! You want the right things and you know how to get better. Go for it :)

And I'm really glad that you realize that this has made you who you are. That will help. Instead of being held down by the shame and guilt, through recovery you will be able to turn this weakness into a strength. It'll be like an artist who messes up on a painting. But instead of throwing it out, turns it into something even greater.

The only thing that I wanna keep saying to you is confess. You don't realize how much it helps. I think everyone on this site can tell you that. I don't want you to go through the pain that so many of us went through. You read the stories where people have families and are trapped in this addiction. You read the stories of those who waited to confess and it got worse and worse. And then you read the joy in their confession posts.

Pray. Take your concerns about your mom to God. God cares about what is troubling you. He cares. So talk to Him about it. Not just a laundry list but kneel there and talk to Him like He's your Father, which He is. Pour out your soul to Him.

And you have no idea what your mom can handle. Yes, it will be tough but you can help her. You can strengthen her. And so can God. This is a trial for her. And just like we addicts tell each other "God doesn't test you above what you are able." What you are able to handle with Him. The other thing is that you say she can't handle 2 addicts in her family at once. If you ask any of the mothers or wives on this site, they want you to be honest. She can't handle 2 men confessing and repenting but you think she can handle 2 men (or maybe just 1, I don't know about your Dad) keeping their pornography addiction a secret? It is going to be hard. It will. And there will be pain. But that's what happens. Unbearable pain and then unmeasurable joy.

If the Bishop asks you? So you want to be compelled to humility. You want to be caught. You aren't going to take this step of your own free will?

I'm sorry if this seems offensive or mean. I don't mean it in that way AT ALL. I care about you. I just don't want to lie to you. I want to tell you how it is. I want to prepare you. Because this is one hard road. One tough battle. But it's worth it. And I see so much potential in you. You want to be better. You know what it takes. But this one thing is holding you back. Take the first step. Be honest. You and your family are in my prayers. You will conquer this Brother.

Your sister,
posted at 00:43:47 on March 16, 2012 by iamstrong
Confession is hard    
"I had a meeting with my current bishop, back when he was first bishop. It was more of a visit then anything else. Part of me wanted to tell him, but I was scared he would tell my parents.

He asked specific questions that scared me. I still lied though, and I've always felt bad about that.

He pretty much said that "I know something is wrong, I have suspicion as to what it is, and I want to help. "He didn't say exactly that, but that was the general impression. And I lied. I would have given anything if he had asked me directly, so that I could say, "Yes. I do have a problem."

What I'm trying to say, is they won't. Unless they really feel inspired about it. Part of confession is dragging it out of yourself. When I told my Bishop, I minimized it. He kept an eye on me anyway. He had to drag it out of me.

Frankly, confession is hard. Its the hardest thing that I've ever been asked to do. And I did have your situation, but it was my Dad. If you look back on my posts, you see his reaction. Its hard for you, with your dad also having an issue. I don't think your mom will blame herself but him, for bringing it in.

Its easy now for me, and the others on this site to say, "talk to the bishop " because we have got it over with, and its not so bad.

For a long time, I did not. I lied in interviews, and took the sacrament and pretended. And my Bishop knew something, but I didn't like him. My excuse. See, I had to go to church. But I was so numb I didn't really care.

Talking to the Bishop helps. Its what the Lord requires us to do. D&c 58:42-3
But it is not easy. Without confession and someone knowing about it, you will fall. I don't like saying that, because when my bishop says that, it hurts me. But it makes me think. I know for myself that when I tried myself, I fell every time.

I trie to stop for over 3 years, with the plan that I would confess when I was done. Didn't happen.

I'm not saying this is you, but I am saying we are similar, and feel free to ask me questions."
posted at 07:07:14 on March 16, 2012 by anon16
Finaly decided to reply, everyone deserves it for their time    
"@Iamstrong You sidnt offend me. if anything id prefer the bard fruth tban a sugar coated lie. Thats something i can see through easily, usualy anyway. Sorry if i seem hard and straigt tk the loint, thats the way i am.

I understand the confessing. , I'm not exactly sure what I'm waiting for but I will soon. I at least want to give some progress, and I have made some. I have a feeling its soon tho, I'm not quite sure how my family will handle this.

You know I have read the story of wives. I've read, a lot of anger and sadness. Many of these wives want to divorece, they feel betrayed. I just dont want to be the person who dealt that pain, of anyone, it should be my stepfather to tell her. Its not as simple as it seems, my actions affect more than 1 person.

@Anon16 Im new here, and they think I'm just inactive. My bishop might have suspicion I'm sure because there' must be reason why I dont want to bless the sacrament. But, in any case, if I'm being interviewed for any reason, i will tell him. I wish he just asked me for an interview because i was new but he didn't. But, its strange, I've never asked for an interview i guess i dont k is hoe to."
posted at 21:58:03 on March 19, 2012 by moroni
Ya know what    
"I really think that we could get along haha We both say what we think and how it is. There is a mom on here who has a husband who is an addict and 2 sons who are addicted as well. ANGELMOM. She has given me hope. I think about my future family, and my current family and all the pain that I am causing. And knowing that families can get through this is amazing. She is someone that you will want to read her comments.

Yes, there is pain. There is always pain. But the thing is, love doesn't exist without pain. Jesus bled from every pore and then died for us. And the Bible says that that is true love. You will find that the marriages that have the hardest time is where the husband is dishonest or the wife is unwilling to forgive. People don't fall out of love. They fall out of repentance. Someone is not willing to go through the repentance process. That's how family is. A family can make it through anything and get stronger if everyone is committed to repentance. Your mom sounds like an amazingly strong woman. She must've been to raise such a strong young man like you. You might not see yourself as strong but you are. You would've given in and given up if you weren't.

What I have done in a new ward was go to church, and after sacrament meeting go up with a tithing envelope with like a dollar for fast offerings or something in it. I use that envelope as a way to just feel more comfortable and have an excuse. I go up to the Bishop when he isn't really surrounded. Hand him the envelope, and shake his hand. Introduce myself and say is there any way I could meet with you this week. Sometimes I come up with an excuse like "for a limited use temple recommend". He'll find a way for you to meet with him. I get so scared still. And I change wards a lot! In fact, I have a new ward next month and I'm scared out of my wits to talk to another bishop.

But you are strong, you can do this."
posted at 22:15:26 on March 19, 2012 by iamstrong
Thats a pretty smart thing    
"Im not one of those people that would say, if you want to meet with the bishop than have the courage to say something to his face, so I appreciate your too with the turning and what not.

Here's the thing tho, my dad is extremely stubborn. I am very stubborn, idk if some of you can tell but my dad is more stubborn than me. He doesn't not like to admit he's wrong or accept help easily. He will find a way around this. He's good with computers. I told my bishop from the last place I lived about his issue, and he said he would find a way tto ask him about it without getting the blame on me. My dad made the excuse that he doesn't pay tithing and drinks coffee. You see where I'm going with this? I can't see anything but disaster that way.."
posted at 17:13:55 on March 21, 2012 by Moroni
You aren't your dad though...    
"You know you are stubborn and you know where stubbornness has gotten him... My dad doesn't even take medicine when he is sick. He doesn't ask others for help. And although he is a great dad and I love him, I'm happy I'm not like that. I hate talking to other people about my problems. So talking to a bishop and going to meetings were a BIG thing for me. HUGE. But it has changed my life. I could do the whole stay clean and sober by myself for a while but I never changed. Like all of that came when I was able to throw away my own pride and say God, I am nothing without you. I need help. When I admitted I was powerless, as the 12 Traditions say. There is a scripture in John 15:5, "for without me, ye can do nothing." Pride is something we all have. I have it every day when I choose sleep over prayer or anything like that. But someone told me that pride isn't just thinking you are better than others. It's thinking that you can do stuff on your own. Because you can't. You always need God. And sometimes you need the people He sends to you.

So I get what you are saying. But control the things you can, and let go of the things you can't. You can't control the way your dad handles it. But you can change things for you."
posted at 22:09:06 on March 21, 2012 by iamstrong
"But you said before that a marriage usually fails when the husband rejects repentence. I really doubt mine will be excited to submit to the bishop. I dont want to be responsible for disovijg my parents marriage. Sigh, but we'll see."
posted at 22:57:39 on March 21, 2012 by moroni
Not that relationship    
"Your dad's decision is his. This is about you. You are going to recover whether he does or not. I'm not talking to your dad. I'm talking to you. You can confess. You can change. And your relationship with your mom will be able to withstand as long as you both are accepting of repentance.

My parents fought all while I was growing up. They were going to get divorced but it was too expensive. Funny thing is, when basically every member of my family had to go through a repentance process our family grew closer. People say that porn destroys families. And it does. But repentance for porn, alcohol, drugs, sex, etc brought my family closer together because we were all growing closer to the Lord.

You're changing and growing and recovering will not dissolve your parent's marriage. If their marriage dissolves because you confessed, then it is still something between them."
posted at 23:36:06 on March 21, 2012 by iamstrong
And it's not just husbands...    
"As a woman, I know a lot of girls who think they have to have a perfect man. Yeah, it's not great for a husband to be caught up in this. But if they have accepted repentance, the wife needs to too. I feel like being a woman with this issue has taught me that marriage is 2 way. We can't expect our spouse to be perfect. Only constantly repenting. Because if we found a perfect spouse, why would they stay with us? None of us are perfect. I just felt like the men get chastised a lot and the woman need to be tough too. They need to accept their husband's repentance. They need to try. We don't just walk out when things get hard. That's not how marriage is. Or at least I hope that my marriage is stronger than that."
posted at 23:42:29 on March 21, 2012 by iamstrong
I will confess, i will change    
"I have no doubt in my mind. But the fear looms, for shat might happen if this whole thing blows up. Time and God, that's what i leave it to."
posted at 00:25:59 on March 22, 2012 by moroni

Add a Comment:

***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)

"If it were possible to make your road very easy, you wouldn’t grow in strength. If you were always forgiven for every mistake without effort on your part, you would never receive the blessings of repentance. If everything were done for you, you wouldn’t learn how to work, or gain self-confidence, or acquire the power to change. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990