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Discouraged
By anon16
3/12/2012 6:50:07 PM
I'm not sure when my day count needs to start over. Honestly, I'm not sure what exactly my bishop would consider as such. He's never really given me a straight answer on it. It would be very awkward for me to ask, so I haven't. But I may end up doing so.

The past week, I haven't done well. I've started drifting more into toeing the line, a fact which I hate. I have a meeting with my bishop Sunday. At that point, should I be candid with him, about what exactly his definition is, or not? Does it even really matter?

All I know is that I am trying harder then I ever have. I've been having a lot of withdrawal I think. I read a post on here that described where I was at, and I hated it.

I'm feeling like the days of my being 40+ are limited, if I haven't gone over the line yet. I'm sorry to be blunt, but is the line orgasm or just going in that direction?

Comments:

Counting can be discouraging    
"I don't believe in "starting over," really. You are not back at square one. Starting the count over seems to write off all the progress you have made for the last 40+ days.

And if anyone disagrees with me that Anon16 has made no progress, just because "she slipped again, so that must show she hasn't changed," I'll be happy to tell them to be quiet. Anon16 has made VISIBLE progress, and it should not be discounted.

So you slipped a little. So what? Considering your past history, your addiction, and your recent temptations, who can blame you? Don't let it get you down!

The bigger problem is that you are still slipping. Run immediately to your Bishop, your sponsor, anyone else you trust (Good for you for running here!) and tell them that you are struggling and stumbling. Tell your Bishop you are coming to him not because you feel you have done something terribly wrong, but because you are headed that direction, and you want his help to stop the slide. Don't wait! Get help!

Then, should you start the count over? Sure, if you are in to that. Otherwise, count yourself as 40-1 (40 wins, 1 loss), and keep going. Tomorrow, you will be 41-1."
posted at 21:09:49 on March 12, 2012 by beclean
Well, Yoire progressing, that always counts    
"I dont Think you should have that conversation with the bishop, trying to figure out what the line is. I dont think it will help you in the end. But I think you should ask for more help, like a blessing or something. I'm not really sure how the whole counting system works, but if it bothers you so much that you keep thinking about it, maybe you should start over. I think it should be a motivator not a crutch. As a guy, I can't quite understand how your struggle is, but I think you shouldn't be so harsh on yourself. Think in the long run and your past progress, be proud of that and dont let a trip become a fall. Good luck, god bless.

Moroni"
posted at 21:49:55 on March 12, 2012 by moroni
Let your conscience be your guide    
"As long as I don't allow justification to slip in, which can be dangerous and lead to greater acting out, my conscience has always been a good measure of what I need to use as a sobriety yard stick. As said before a slip, relapse or whatever does not cause one to lose all the benefits of previous clean time. All that you have learned and the Spirit you have felt will come back quicker than you might think when you head back in the right direction. At times my recovery has felt a lot better than my sobriety would seem to indicate. Take it from someone with many, many relapses, the Lord is right there with open arms every time we turn back around. He doesn't spend any time beating us up either when we turn to Him."
posted at 20:40:06 on March 13, 2012 by justjohn


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