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My story
By anon16
2/27/2012 7:27:19 PM
I realized I've never posted my story. When I work on step four, this will be a reference, so this is one of the reasons.Its not as detailed as it could be. But at least I tried, and its practice.

This was all a game to me, and unil I lost the sacrament, it was,t real. Ok, with that in mind, read on.

I've heard the average age for seeing porn for the first time is 9. That is how old I was. I accidentally typed in a website wrong and a women came up. I freaked out, turned off the computer and my mom took care of it. It shook me up cuz I knew it was bad.

Fast forward about a year. I started reading young adult novels, and at first was horrified at how "coarse" they were, but I still read them. One of the authors also wrote adult novels, aka romance novels. I was innocent and thought most books were good still. So, I got a few, and told me friend, "This is really bad." She laughed at me, and said, "If you think its bad, its not bad at all." So, I gave her the book at my first byd meeting, and we were sitting in the back laughing at the sex scenes in it. That's how it started, I didn't understand really but I wanted too.

I got deeper in, looking at romance novels and educational books because they were interesting, had a happy ending in the novels case, and they were plentiful. I didn't think about it being bad, I kind of bragged about it even.
I also during this period discover online fiction, and read some fairly explicit things, which mostly I skipped, shied away from, or didn't,t understand.

When I was 12, turning 13, I started masturbating. I remember it being about Feb, because my grandparents died that year, and I recall thinking about doing it when I was staying over at my gma's house after my grandpa died. I wasn'tperverted enough to dodo it though.

It took me a while to realize that mb was bad. I remember promising myself when I turned 13 that I would never mb again. That's the first time I remember, but I think it was before. It caused me a lot of guilt and depression. But not enough to give it up.

During this period, I essentially gave in whenever I wanted it, and thst included reading. Sometimes I read and then masturbqted, but sometimes I read and did both.

I've done it in every room of my house. And our old car. Like I said, whenever I wanted it.

This is pretty much my sorry story. Curiousity lead to this. I wish that I'd never taken that first sstep, but its way too late now.
perverted enough at that ppoint

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"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:
  • Choose to Be Alive
  • Choose to Believe
  • Choose to Change
  • Choose to Be Different
  • Choose to Exercise
  • Choose to Be Free "

    — Russell M. Nelson

    General Conference, October 1988