Day 33
By anon16
2/26/2012 11:35:10 AM
I am past the 30 day mark. I have struggled this wee k, and day 30 was the hardest day for me. I met with my bishop yesterday, and he said something that troubled me. That I was doing this myself, not drawing on the power of atone.and he was right. He still is right.

If I don't understand it, I will fall. Again. Today I had an experience that scared me, because I almost slipped. I've been struggling with porn and not using it as a coping method. For me, I think masturbation and pornography are two seperate addictions. They are connected but seperate.

I have been working at filling my life with good things, and finding healthy alternatives. Its hard, A lot harder then I thought it would be. I thought it would be easy. A year ago I was a lot worse off though. This month is 4 years. I don't want it to be 5.

Should I be concerned about withdrawals, or would I have felt them already? I've never gone this long and I want to be prepared.


You are doing great!    

Keep up the good work. I understand what you are going through. You are definately making progress.

Keep filling your life with good things as you have said. I wanted to mention a tool that I have learned in a recovery program I completed. Just like you are already doing, fill your life with service, studying scriptures, and daily prayer. This will help you avoid triggers as much as possible. But, no matter how hard we try, sometimes things get put in our way that trigger our addictions. Instead of trying to overcome these triggers with willpower alone, or "white-knuckling" I rely on this 3 step technique (Face It, Replace It, Connect)

1. Face It - When a trigger for P/MB pops up, you have to face it. You can do this by saying to yourself. It is normal for me to have these feelings. All human beings have sexual urges. Having a sexual urge is not a sin, only acting on it improperly is.

2. Replace It - In this step, you replace it with a statement of truth. For example, you can say to yourself, God has given us these desires as part of his plan for procreatioin, so I choose to wait and share them with my future spouse.

3. Connect - This is the most important step. Since P/MB are things we do alone, it is important to connect with a friend, family member, or anyone around you. After you say the first to steps to yourself, call a friend, or go talk to someone in your family. You don't even have to tell them why. Just the act of connecting with another person will help you over come the urge. This can even work if you in a store or another public place. Just say hello and smile at someone you don't even know.

It helps to practice this in your mind before you ever get in a situation that you will need it. It might sound a bit hokey at first, but it really helped me in the early stages. If you do these steps and connect with someone, the urges will dissapear. As your brain recovers from the addiction, these steps will become your new norm.

I hope this may help you or someone else that may need an extra tool in their tool bag to fight addiction.

You are doing so well. I am praying for you,

posted at 12:12:08 on February 27, 2012 by ilmw
Let go and let God    
"The sooner you get in the habit of turning your temptations over to the Lord the sooner the fight will go away. I would follow your Bishop's advice.

I can stay in the ring and fight Satan (getting beat up) or I can tag my partner and watch from the stands while Crist beats the snot out of him.

Congrats on the 33 days. THAT IS EXCITING!!!"
posted at 17:37:12 on February 28, 2012 by justjohn
if you are fighting it.. you will lose eventually.    
"The struggle is really hard! Do you have people to call when you are having urges? do you have errands you cna go run? The idea is to change the ritual. Right now it sounds like you are in a early ritual stage and the urges come and you fight them off and you are consuming a LOT of energy.. I could be wrong.

for me personally, instead of spending energy fighting it, I spent the energy just doing something else. that helped me TREMENDOUSLY"
posted at 18:56:36 on February 28, 2012 by hurtallover

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"The solution to this problem ultimately is neither governmental nor institutional. Nor is it a question of legality. It is a matter of individual choice and commitment. Agency must be understood. The importance of the will in making crucial choices must be known. Then steps toward relief can follow."

— Russell M. Nelson