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WHY?
By ME
2/24/2012 4:12:10 AM
There are times that I accept that this will be the demon that I will battle for the rest of my life. Then there are days that I am angry. There are days that I don't want to do this anymore. There are days when I feel defeated, even when I've not relapsed into my addiction. There are moments that just show up out of nowhere that I felt caught off guard, like I've had the wind knocked out of me. Then there are moments that I don't stop it all from bulldozing me over.
The more I try to analyze my frame of my, my situation, where all of this addictive behavior stems from, the more I feel as if I'm spiralling deeper & deeper into it.
I'm sick & tired of my addictive behaviors. I would be so glad to wake up tomorrow & be a Good Little Mormon girl. I don't ever remember being one.

Comments:

Addict forever?    
"I've read here and in other places about the controversy about whether "Once an addict, always an addict" is a true concept or not. I don't have an answer, but I do know this: Jesus heals. He healed lepers and they were not lepers anymore. He healed the sick and the sinner. He raised the dead. Their conditions did not follow them after His touch. I don't know if Alma the Younger always struggled with the temptations of his past after being 'born again' but I do believe that His healing is sufficient for our needs. I am addicted to behaviors such as anger and victim-thinking....will I always struggle with that? I don't know and I guess it really doesn't matter but I believe that Christ can and will remove it from me in this life or the next as I turn to Him. I know this isn't exactly what you are posting about....but I was touched by your post and wanted to share some hope with you. I believe that we can all be healed. From all our wounds and all our sins. We wont carry them, even a trace of them someday. That brings me peace and I hold to it in the dark times."
posted at 09:15:19 on February 24, 2012 by maddy
I Think    
"That Satan and his hosts want us stuck, want us living in the victim mode , want us thinking that we will always struggle with addictions.

I believe

That our Savior wants us free, wants us to be victorious over our addictions, and wants us to live in his light forevermore.

We must lay it all on the line for Him, surrender it all, from what we eat and drink, to our media, relationships, whatever we can give, and come unto him, and he will set us free.

You are not stuck and will not be stuck forever. You must have a vision for your future, let yourself dream of a better life, trust in the Lord and it will be so. It is just that Simple."
posted at 10:40:38 on February 24, 2012 by Anonymous
weaknesses    
"I found myself asking myself "why" just last night. I have asked it many times in my life with various trials, and now asking it with this I have to come to the same conclusion that I have come to before with other things. It doesn't matter why. Heavenly Father loves me, and He knows me. He knows what I'm going through, and He knows what I need to go through to grow the most and come to Him. Ether 12:27 - I have been given weaknesses to become humble, and my weaknesses can become my strengths if I have faith in Christ. This is your opportunity to come to KNOW and RELY on Christ. Let Him heal you. Even if you deal with this your whole life, you can still be healed in Christ."
posted at 11:29:01 on February 24, 2012 by crushedwife
He heals completely!    
"Amen to Maddy’s thoughts. When the man who had palsy picked up his bed and walked away he wasn’t limping. If Christ performed all those miracles (which weren’t the main focus of His mission) and provided complete healing why wouldn’t His big miracle provide complete healing. My testimony is that it does. God has taken away my addiction twice. Obviously it isn’t a onetime permanent thing. At least not for me, but then I’m a little dense. I still believe that once an addict always an addict and maybe that comes from having lost the miracle after receiving it. I know that we can get to a point where we don’t have to act, feel or think like a practicing addict. On the other hand Satan is never going to take us off the list. He will never give up on having us. He knows what has worked in the past and he will try them again. While I can remain free of the thoughts, feelings and actions of my addicted self, I must always remain vigilant. I can never be a social drinker (so to speak). As one of my friends modified from alcoholics, “I can’t lust like a gentleman.” I may never go to the gym on a regular basis again even though I have two nice ones available to me (I am allergic to spandex :) ). I will always have to be wary about getting enough sleep, watch out for resentment, think ahead if I have to go to the pool etc. etc. etc. Maybe normal guys can do things like that without worrying, but I don’t think I ever will. The nice thing is the fight can get to where it is minimal."
posted at 18:12:26 on February 27, 2012 by justjohn
Thanks    
"THank you all for your comments & words of encouragement. I really appreciate it."
posted at 21:59:18 on February 28, 2012 by ME


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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990