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First day, first blog
By byfaith
2/16/2012 12:04:06 PM
Its hard to admit it, but its easy to see that I am addicted.
This is my first blog on this website and I hope and pray that this can be the start of a new life for me.
I started looking at bad stuff on the internet when I was 14 and didn't really know it was bad until President Hinckley's talk in general conference. I made a decision to stop, but my body can sometimes be stronger than my heart.
I'm now 18 years old and have been struggling with this problem abou 4 years now. I just wish I could stop. I often tell myself " no more!" but then a day or two later find myself wrapped back into it again.
I've seen some really bad stuff and I wish so badly that I could forget it all. The toughest part is that Im 18 turning 19 soon, which means my mission is right on my doorstep. The pain is unbearable when I see my friends receiving their mission calls and then turning around and asking me how my papers are doing. The only excuse I have is that Im waiting for another semester of collage.
I counsel with my bishop and my dad constantly trying to figure things out. I know that my Saviour lives and loves me and has paid for my sins and my afflictions, I just have to except it, but I know that there are even things Jesus can't restore, and thats the time I have wasted.

I hope and pray that this can be my first of many days that I can remain sober. I hope that I can overcome this and help some of you overcome it too.

Comments:

Get going - Great First Step    
"Start looking for an ARP or PASG meeting where you are at. They are the church's 12-step programs. It is possible to be come clean again, and it is the most important thing you will do in your young life. Do not put it off, or wish it away. Let untreated, your addiction will affect your ability to develop meaningful relationships with young women who could potentially become yuour wife. It will keep you in a constant state of feeling unworthy and eventually Satan will convince you there is no point in trying, because you just aren't good enough....All Lies! You can stop, Heavenly father has given us the tools. This is a great place to start. Start living a completely transparent life. It will be hard, but worth it."
posted at 15:11:16 on February 16, 2012 by chefdalet
You can do this.    
"First off, I am a college girl. And I have a lot of respect for you. Simply because you are trying and you WANT to change and you WANT to go on a mission. I know that it is hard because I am addicted too. But there are so many guys who don't resolve their issues or think that they don't have a problem. And to see you want to be better, it is admirable. It isn't going to get easier but it will get better!"
posted at 16:31:33 on February 16, 2012 by iamstrong
sooo.. most of us on here have tried to stop on our own. its nearly impossible    
"First of all you can beat this.. nearly everyone can that is capable of being honest with themselves.. Its really hard to will yourself to stop. I couldnt over 20+ years. People that dont understand compulsions think we should just be able to "stop" duh. they should stop breathing. thats your coping mechanism

to really stop, we all had to understand the underlying issue that cause us to medicate. Is it anxiety? work? stress? whatever. somehow you've taught yourself to use porn/mb to medicate yourself.

I did a 12 step program in conjuction with some personal private counseling. I feel like I have a new life.

a 12 step program can help reinforce things. you will get skills to examine yourself - how do you feel before you start to do it. Can you identify and short circuit the ritualization. Can you have a clearer view of reality.

thats how you cope with this and get lots of sobriety. You can do it!"
posted at 16:44:31 on February 16, 2012 by hurtallover


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"You lived with your Heavenly Father in a premortal life. You were there with Him. Your spirit knows what it is like to live in celestial realms. You can never be truly happy in an uncelestial environment. You know too much. That is one of the reasons that for you, wickedness never can be happiness. What a great thing it is to decide once and for all early in life what you will do and what you will not do with regards to honesty, modesty, chastity, the Word of Wisdom, and temple marriage. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006