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A Call for Spouses Stories
By roger
2/8/2012 6:40:10 PM
Hi, I am Roger Stark, author of “the Waterfall Concept; A blueprint for addiction recovery.” I have begun compiling a new book entitled ”The Spouses Guide to Addiction Recovery.” I have decided upon a format that follows Alcoholics Anonymous”s “Big Book” with a section of personal stories. The 4th edition has over 40 personal stories of individual recovery. They are read and quoted often and continue to bring healing and understanding to all that read them.

I believe that spouses of addicts in the LDS community have, by way of the struggle brought upon them, developed wisdom and understanding that would be helpful in a like manner. Your understanding was gained the “hard way,’ sharing might make it easier for those just entering into the maze of recovery. The unique features of our culture make addition even more “cunning and baffling” that it is for those not of our faith.

Some suggested topics might be: Do I go or stay? How much do I really want to know about the acting out? Is there hope for recovery? How do I take care of me? What boundaries should I set? Why should I work the 12 steps? I’m not the addict! How do I practice self-care? How much do the kids need to know? How do I deal with my ward family? What do I disclose to whom? And another other subject that might be helpful. Your story maybe of great value to others, would you consider sharing it?

If you have interest, please contact me through my website www.waterfallconcept.org or email me at roger “at” waterfallconcept.org

Comments:

I would like to hear some success stories as well..    
"Either your own or someone you know. This is an area that I struggle with. I'm almost at a year after disclosure. Things are still really really hard. Every once in a while, my dear wife will look on ldsar.org and will comment "I see people falling off the wagon after a long amount of sobriety. That makes me feel like this will never get any better" There are too many stories of the bad endings. where are the good endings?

I really beleive the best stories are from people who arent regularly posting anymore.
I beleive that slips after long term sobriety isnt necessarily catastrophic if they are handled right.
I beleive that relationships are stronger -- spiritually and intimacy if they are worked on well.
I believe wives/partners can forgive their spouses
I beleive that faith will allow celestial endings"
posted at 09:59:13 on February 9, 2012 by Hurtallover
We are healing while still facing heavy burdens    
"We are coming up on 2 years since we started our journey with 12 steps and We are healling well. In fact my husband and I will be changing our entire career path because of what has happened in our family.

We feel blessed in many ways, but in the middle of our recovery we have had to deal with a drug addicted child who is in jail for the 2nd time and all that comes with that mess, and another child who is still lost, but really trying. In the middle of this craziness, we are using all we have learned to get through it all and we are healing. We are unified and in love. And let me tell you, it didn't start out that way.

I think often the addict wants the people he hurt to hurry up and heal. This process takes time. Dr. Weiss says it takes It takes at least 5 years of healing and sobriety before you can really see the full effects of recovery.

Be patient and trust God. Be patient with your wife, and especially yourself. You are doing well you must just hold fast as this is your life's blessing and the Lord is lovingly teaching you.

Angel"
posted at 14:21:09 on February 9, 2012 by angelmom
Some stories from spouses    
"We've had many people searching at my site for support in dealing with their spouse's addiction. We have a series of stories of recovery from both addicts and their spouses here:

http://mormonwoman.org/2011/01/30/pornography-addiction-personal-stories-index/ />
There are also some stories on the Combating Pornography website, at SA Lifeline, and at Out in the Light."
ergh    
"link somehow ended up bleeding into the text below. There are also some stories from spouses on Combating Pornography website, at SA Lifeline, and at Out in the Light.

SA Lifeline also has a Vimeo channel with a woman's story that was great. You can find it here:

http://vimeo.com/salifeline"
posted at 01:35:03 on February 10, 2012 by Anonymous
Space after link    
"When you add a link, put a space after the link before hitting enter.

That makes it work the way you expect."
posted at 10:47:40 on February 10, 2012 by Anonymous
Healing    
"Thank you! I needed to know the pains of recovery and healing are worth it."
posted at 08:21:28 on February 12, 2012 by Anonymous


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"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004