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Change is hard
By no more
2/8/2012 12:00:14 AM
I didn't realize how much work repentance really was. I have been clean for 16 days now which is longer than I have been in months. I just keep praying that I can have the strength to maintain. I feel part of what has helped me most is being completely honest with myself, my emotions, and past situations. I've been brought down to the point to where I have joined online meetings on a daily basis that focus on the 12 steps,and I have reached out for help. As I have, I've felt hundreds of pounds lift off my shoulders as I continue to heal emotionally one day at a time. I hope I can maintain sobriety, but if there's a time I fall, I am going to take it as a learning experience and not be myself up for countless hours as I have previously. I was reading in Alma 37-42 a week or so ago, which is Alma's council to his sons- sexual purity is really big in one of the chapters, and I felt what Alma described as an "eternal torment" to my soul. I remembered all my sins, I knew how serious they were, and I knew I had to completely give my all to Christ to change. I know now that Christ doesn't do a "partial cleaning." If I want Him to change me, I have to be in for the whole thing and do as He asks or I'll never progress. I've been trying to turn my will over to Heavenly Father, and as I have been willing to do what He asks of me, I have had the strength to stay sober, and the willpower to change, and I can feel the Atonement changing my heart a little at a time. Sorry for all the rambling- I just felt I needed to share my thoughts with someone.

Comments:

Healing Takes Time    
"Changing our habits and turning from our old mindset takes time. I've noticed that the whole repentance process takes time. I'm starting to understand why our church leaders tell us we are not yet worthy to take sacrament or go to the temple even when we're sincerely sorry and penitent for what we've done wrong. I think we have to prove to ourselves that we're ready to abandon the sin for good by remaining sober for a certain amount of time.

Congrats on the 16 days! As more time goes by you will start to feel better and closer to the Lord. The atonement is amazing, and I know it has the power to change your life because it has changed mine."
posted at 10:45:30 on February 8, 2012 by ETTE
online groups?    
"What online groups are there?"
posted at 15:16:18 on February 8, 2012 by Anonymous
Online Meetings    
"I was wondering about the daily online meetings you mentioned as well. Are they heart-t-heart.org or somewhere else? I don’t mean to pry. I occasionally would like a meeting option that doesn’t require me to leave home. It might be good for others here who feel uncomfortable or aren’t able to attend regular meetings. Heart-t-heart only has AM mtgs. I found some on 12Step.org as well. I have never attended any of them. I would really like to get your opinion on the meetings you have attended.

Thanks,
John"
posted at 17:08:15 on February 8, 2012 by justjohn
Online groups    
"heart-t-heart.org is the one I have been attending. I haven't looked much into others- I really like heart-t-heart, it is like going to an early morning devotional. They actually do have phone meetings that focus on certain addictions once or twice a week- I haven't tried those, but I'm sure they are just as good. The meetings focus on the 12 steps, and other readings that are geared toward addiction- they focus more on the steps to recovery than on the addictions themselves. The devotionals are led by others who are in recovery from addiction- it helps a lot to know that those who lead were once in my place which gives me hope in itself. I find it easier to be more open and honest about my feelings as well, because there's no one physically there- but those who lead the meetings and come genuinally care. It's helped me a lot. They also offer help with getting sponsors as well on there website. The only money they make is from donations and from reading material that the members can buy. The first meeting I went to was really weird- I guess it wasn't what I expected. I would suggest coming to 2 meetings, and then make a decision of whether it is right for you or not. As for the early mornings, some days it's hard, but it's worth it to start the day off on a good note. I also really like how they are everyday, so I can start everyday on a good note. I hope this helps- if you have any other questions about them please ask. And thank you Ette for your encouragement :) I appreciate it."
posted at 18:13:58 on February 8, 2012 by no more


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"In a decaying environment, the mind is the last redoubt of righteousness, and it must be preserved even amid bombardment by evil stimuli. Christ is competent to see us through, “for in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted” As promised, He will make either “a way to escape” or a way “to bear it”."

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987