Trouble with Step 3
By will
1/31/2012 6:51:52 PM
I'm afraid I'm missing something important. My Bishop has told me to go to church, pay tithing, read the scriptures, serve faithfully in my calling, pray for Gods help and direction etc. And I'm actually doing well with all these things.

I'm totally convinced that I can't overcome my addiction on my own and that God has both the power and desire to do it for me.
I've been told to do the following:
totally turn my life entirely over to God
put everything on the alter
tell the Lord it is His problem now
turn my will over to God
surrender my life to Him totally
allow Him to direct my life, etc

Like I said, I'm concerned I'm missing something because I've done what the Bishop has counseled me for the majority of my life.
I guess what I need to know is, other than what I've already been doing, specificly how do I "turn my life over to God" I do believe I've probably been trying to overcome my problems by myself. But what else do I need to do or say to truely give my life to God? I've tried when faced with temptation, to ask God to "lift me above and beyond" the temptation. It has never once failed. But in the middle of being tempted, I don't always think to ask for help.

Any suggestions will be very appreciated.


I think it's more complicated than just doing what your Bishop says    
"In my head I thought that turning my life over to God & doing His will meant that I would be a full time missionary all the time, or live some "higher" level of the gospel sort of like a catholic nun lives the catholic church. I would go through my life preaching the gospel "without purse or script."
Then I realized that my definition of GOD'S WILL was distorted & I needed to change the defintion of it meant.
to SUBMIT means: to yeild power or authority over to another.
To submit my will would mean that I allow The Lord power over my life. I will do what He asks of me.
If you look at step #3 It says, " surrender our entire lives, past, present & future & our will about our lives to Him. To me surrendering my life from the past means, letting it go, moving forward, having Faith in the Atonement that it will heal all the damage that I caused through my past choices.
surrendering or submitting my will to present and future, to me would mean, accepting that I will more than likely have to deal with my addiction the rest of my life. So instead of being a bucking bull, I will allow The Lord to guide me where He wants me to go.
My Brother put it this way. If there are 2 oxen that are yolked together & one wants to eat grass on the left side of the road but the other one wants to eat on the right side of the road. One of the oxen will have to give in or the 2 together will stand on the road & eventaully die of starvation.
I try to see myself yolked with the Lord. I can feel when I am bucking or fighting against The Lord because I feel hostility & things are not working out as well. It takes time & effort to surrender to The Lord. I believe it's something that we need to do over & over again. Sometimes we are so prideful & want to do everything ourselves that we just take over & not allow The Lord to teach us through experiences.
I know this is a lot of rambling, I hope this helped."
posted at 06:41:51 on February 1, 2012 by ME
For years    
"Our Bishop (s) would say the same thing. Are you doing ABC&D, to which we said yes, we were doing "the list". That works in so many areas of our lives and I am sure it helped, but that in and of it self was never enough for my husband to overcome his addiction. Often I remember our Bishop almost scratching his head because we were doing that stuff and he would still fall.

Sobriety requires everything of us. There are no half way measures. Complete surrender to the Lord. Complete surrender of unchristian media, including music, complete surrender of non inspiring T.V. In my husband's case. he will not even go inside the mall. Not out of fear, but out of honoring his sobriety. He wants his sobriety more than he wants air. I too do not watch, listen, or read anything that would trigger in any way. I am not the addict, but I understand now why we are told over and over again, to be in the world and not of it. It is to easy to justify a little temptation her and a little indulgence there, but our marriage is too important to hand over to the world. So yeh, we don't go to movies, blah, blah,, blah...but we live like we have never lived before. We love like we have never loved before. We serve like we have never served before. We strive to stand in holy places.

I think in the past, my husband was trying to be sober, but not have to give up to much of what he likes to do it. He was truly holding back a little bit of himself from the Lord. He is a new man now, and he loves it... And, I do too.

I pray that you will stand in all placed holy and that you will do all that your Bishop asks. Just do it with love of Christ and you will begin to heal... The power of Christ is that strong."
posted at 12:30:41 on February 1, 2012 by angelmom
The recovery waltz    
"I have a couple of thoughts. First regarding “the list”. It is good and right and wonderful, and that is why the things on it are part of the list. They can bring the Spirit into our lives. If you’re like me, the problem is keeping it from becoming a list in my thinking. My dailies are like life support, but going through the motions with those same actions is death for me. I have to resist just checking them off. I have to do them looking for all they have to offer me. The other thing I have found is that sometimes people think the list exempts them from trials. My sister made a statement like that one time. “Why are we having this trial when we do this, this and this?” I’m sure Job did his home teaching and everything else on the list. I don’t know if any of that applies, but it came to mind.

You’re not the only one that struggles with turning it over to the Lord. I’ve been in recovery and trying to turn everything over for 11 years now and I still find myself doing what a friend referred to as the recovery waltz: 1,2,3 1,2,3 1,2,3… I just find myself not turning to Him all the time, because I take control by nature. As somebody said once, “If God is your co-pilot, switch seats!” My problem is that I often want Him to make me strong enough to resist or overcome, rather than asking him to take over the fight, and just tell me what He wants me to do. I so easily come up with my plan. Sometimes it is even a good plan, but so often it isn’t the right plan. So a lot of the time I ask Him to take charge, but I don’t really let go. I have found that He won’t pry anything from my hand. We obviously aren’t alone in this problem:

“At first our efforts were anxious and halting. We
kept giving the Lord our trust and then taking it back.
We worried that He would be displeased at our inconsistency
and withdraw His support and love from us.
But He didn’t.” – Addiction Recovery and Healing p13

I figure I will die still working on step three, I have a firm testimony that He never tires of helping us even when we aren’t consistent. I blogged about that once. It is called, “His hand is stretched out still” or something like that. It does get better with time. My lows are where my highs used to be and I spend more time in recovery mode.

Still a work in progress, you’re step brother,
posted at 10:28:10 on February 2, 2012 by justjohn
Additional tools    
"It sounds like you are on the right track and are doing the right things. Don't give up on the 12 step program. It is truly inspired.

If you are interested in practical techniques to help overcome temptation, the Candeo program was a life saver for me. It teaches you a lot of practical techniques to help you learn how to face and overcome temptations. They teach you how to face temptations without ever having to 'white-knuckle' it.

The full program takes a minimum of 4 months and costs about $50 a month. You can quit or continue after the first 4 months. I still rely on the techniques I learned there to keep me slip-free. It is not a substitute for the churches ARP, but can really help you progress through the 12 step process.

Pray about it and look into it. I have said before on here that it was the best $200 I ever spent. I will keep you in my prayers."
posted at 21:43:43 on February 2, 2012 by ilmw
Price increase    
"I just checked the Candeo website. The price has increased. It is now $67 a month and you have to committ to 6 months instead of 4. Or you can pay $335 up front for the first 6 months. To me this would be worth every penny. If you choose to continue after 6 months it drops to $20 a month. (it used to stay at $50)

Also, several support people including your Bishop and/or spouse can access the entire program for free for as long as you are a member."
posted at 21:56:44 on February 2, 2012 by ilmw

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"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004