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Humble, but not defeated
By no more
1/28/2012 10:33:37 AM
I'm going to talk with my Bishop again tomorrow. Out of all the Bishops I have talked with over the past couple years, I have never gone and confessed to the same Bishop twice, so I am nervous. I know I have nothing to be nervous about, but this time I know I'm going to confess a couple slip ups I haven't had in years of porn, as well as the more recent slip ups since my last visit to the Bishop of masturbation. I feel I have made progress the past couple months, and have come to understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ more on a personal level. I'm not as hard on myself, the majority of the time, as I used to be when I slipped. I have a friend who keeps telling me that "We're not meant to be perfect now," and she's right- perfection doesn't come until after this life. The point of now is to move from the dark to the light as much as we can. We move further to the light by the redemption and enabling power of the Atonement. Sometimes I am frustrated because I'm not progressing as fast as I want to- but I know that I can't have a magic wand to be changed over night. I know that I will grow from this trial, just as I have others. The question I keep asking myself, is am I willing to pay the price? Do I want to go any longer suffering, or talk with my Bishop- even though I might lose my Temple recommend? The reason I have never confessed to a Bishop more than once is because I have been terrified of losing it- I love the Temple with all my heart- maybe this has been one thing that has been holding me back. I also fear what my family will think of me if they knew the serious mistakes I have made over the years. I guess part of true repentance is not caring what other people think- only what God thinks. If after tomorrow I am found unworthy, I will continue to push forward and pray for the strength to be humble and not defeated.

Comments:

Your Bishop loves you....    
"Never be afraid of your Bishop....he is your friend, and will do all he can to help you get right with the Lord."
posted at 15:41:33 on January 28, 2012 by chefdalet
Awesome    
"You are very brave and showing great humility and courage. Way to go!!! You are doing your part and God's grace will cover the rest!

You go girl!

Angel"
posted at 19:07:05 on January 28, 2012 by Anonymous
Worth it    
"I have had to revisit my view on Bishops. I have only had 3 Bishops in my life, and have only worked with my current one. Until working with my Bishop, I never realized how much love they have for the members of their ward. They do want to help.

For me, I still live at home. My Dad was not aware I was working with my Bishop for several months, until I was told I couldn't take the sacrament. Then I had too. It was very very difficult for me. But, worth it. Because it's progress to admit, even if there are consequences."
posted at 21:46:14 on January 28, 2012 by anon16


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— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988