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I want to change and I'm going to
By anon16
1/27/2012 9:23:52 PM
I've realized several things. This week I was in with my Bishop for 45 minutes, and we went in a circle. At the end we were both frustrated. Like he said, I felt crappier then when I went in. I'm sure he did too.

I have to be the one to change . Yes, I can't do it without my savior, but he can't help me until I change. I've been wanting my bishop to make me change. I've put unrealistic expectations on him.

I'm trying a lot harder to change. To want to. I've made it a point to pray, and read my Scriptures, a lot more sincerely then before. I'm honestly trying a lot harder then I ever have. I'm not entirely to the point of giving it up, but I'm a lot closer.

This time I'm actually trying to be a better person. I want to.that is different for me.

Do you have any suggestions as to what I can read, study or do, so I can get a better understanding? I'm working on Jesus the Christ, but other stuff, or scriptures that I should be reading? Or specific things I should pray for? My bishop said I needed to be specific.

Thank you,
Anon16

Comments:

The enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ    
"The statement "he can't help me until I change" is false. Don't believe that one bit. It took me many years to learn, and believe me, I still have a long way to go. A huge part of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the redemption power that comes through repentance. One part, and just as important, that most people don't understand, or aren't as familiar with, is the enabling power, grace, that is also offered through the Atonement. This enabling power is the strength we receive to change- it is what helps our hearts to change. I would recommend reading Elder Bednar's talk titled "In the Strength of the Lord" from the October 2004 conference. I would start there- start understanding how the Atonement works, and then accept that it can work for you. A teacher of mine once put this idea into a metaphor of parents teaching a child to learn to walk. When a child first starts to walk, he falls, but the parent's cheer, lift the child up, and encourage them to try again. They fall, might get frustrated, want to quite, but the parent's keep smiling and lift them up to try again. This process continues until we make it. Then we work on something new. Heavenly Father doesn't condemn us for not doing what's right. He's encouraging us the whole way, and will be as involved in our life as we will let him. The first part of that is understanding that we can't change our hearts on our own- we can change our actions, but it will never hold up completely unless we change from the inside first- that is where God comes in. Through His enabling power, we are changed from the inside, and that changes enables us to change on the outside as well.

If you have any questions about any that I said, please let me know.

As for specific things you should study and pray about- that is between you and Heavenly Father. He knows what you need more than anyone else. I would ask Him, and then listen. As you study- take moments to think about what you pray and what you study, and I promise you will receive the answers to the questions you asked. You will learn what Heavenly Father wants you to learn to be able to overcome your challenges. If you have trouble hearing answers, ask for the help to recognize them, and then be patient, and trust when you receive an answer that it came from God, and then act on it. Most importantly, don't forget that God loves you. Jesus Christ died for you, he did what he did out of love for you. He doesn't expect anything back, because he did what he did out of love, and he's never going to give up on you. Allow Him to take you by the hand and walk beside you through the challenges you face- that's what He wants to do. Open the door and let Him in."
posted at 21:59:28 on January 27, 2012 by no more
you have changed!    
"Don't you see that you're a different person than you were even 1 month ago? The person who was posting with your name just 1 month ago would never have said the things that you just said right now in this post. You are changing. The lord is changing you. Keep going! You're doing great! Earnestly reading your scriptures and trying to get closer to the lord is working. Never give up just because the progress seems to slow. This can take a long time, but it will happen!"
posted at 23:54:27 on January 27, 2012 by beclean
The Atonement    
""Yes, I can't do it without my savior, but he can't help me until I change."

Please revisit the above statement because understanding the atonement is understanding that we turn to the Savior first, sins and all. We cannot change ourselves. Satan would have us believe that we have to change and then the atonement is activated, but it is the opposite. We access the atonement and he changes us. He does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We do not need to work that hard. We only need to be humble and then he takes the burden for us.

Beclean is right, you have changed. You are progressing. Keep going, keep trusting."
posted at 01:01:42 on January 28, 2012 by Anonymous
Change of heart    
"When I wrote that, I meant it differently then it apparently came out. When you all talk about allowing him to be in our lives, that is what I meant. I have to get to the point when I can be humble enough to accept his help. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't think I can have the atonement active in my life until I do that.
Yes. I'm trying to understand what I can and cannot do. It's hard because I'm very Independent. And prideful.

For me, I need a change of heart. I'm trying to get to the point where I have one. Currently I am fasting, and am going to do so weekly, I feel that's what is needed. I'm also finding out what is my limits, boundaries, for myself, and not other people. My Bishop compared it to praying that you wouldn't drink, but then going into a liquor store. That's what I've done. With books and music. Not that I really liked the comparison, but it was true."
posted at 21:52:21 on January 28, 2012 by anon16
Have you tried the following things...    
"-Getting a sponsor who has worked the 12 Steps successfully and has a lot of clean time?
-Working the Steps with that sponsor?
-Attend a 12 Step meeting every day for 90 days?"
posted at 00:01:56 on January 29, 2012 by Anonymous
Not an option right now    
"At this point I can't do anything of those things, so no I have not. One of the women on this site has been a sponser to me, but nobody that I have physically met. While that would be nice, it isn't possible. My bishop and I are kind of working on the 12 steps, I'm not sure if we still are oror not, because of how awful the meeting was when we did(like I said we went in a circle, and he is wondering if meeting with him is making it worse)

If somebody on here wants to be my sponser(though like I said one of the women has been) that would be appreciated. Or does the definition of a sponser mean a person. You've met?

What I am rrealizing is how much of tthis is up to me. I have been really tempted, but this time I am not giving in. What I wonder is how much can Satan tempt me, and have power over me, how much have I surrendered?"
posted at 19:49:31 on January 29, 2012 by anon16
:)    
"im not really sure what you can pray about
but when i was doing my personal scripture study i came across this scripture
alma 32:13.
read it, it is so reassuring.
we are all here for you keep fighting, you WILL eventually win!"
posted at 20:12:28 on January 29, 2012 by churchgirl


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"Brothers and sisters, stay on the straight and narrow path. No, stay in the middle of the straight and narrow path. Don't drift; don't wander; don't dabble; be careful. Remember, do not flirt with evil. Stay out of the devil's territory. Do not give Satan any home-field advantage. Living the commandments will bring you the happiness that too many look for in other places. "

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General Conference October 2006