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I did it! :)
By reform2012
1/23/2012 6:12:31 PM
I need to write because I know that if I don't, I won't feel like I'm progressing.. and I feel like I'm doing well in my first steps so I'm optimistic.

I told my husband everything on Sunday. It was incredibly difficult because it felt so finalized and I was terrified to put those things on the table. I thought about all the advice I got from here about involving a bishop, but in the end, I decided that I wanted to tell him the honest truth and not sugar-coat it. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew I didn't want to go to my grave and have him find out after this life. I couldn't even imagine that kind of secret....

It took a while to spit out, but when I told him, he was a lot more understanding than I thought he would be. I showed him this website, and explained to him that my issue with pornography had nothing to do with our intimacy and we read through a few of the comments/stories together. I felt so clean and optimistic - I prayed to my heavenly father that night and I'm trying to gain my testimony back although I know it will take a while. We both agreed I need to talk to the bishop, and hopefully that will come in a couple weeks when I'm more comfortable. I'm two weeks clean! That's saying something. I'm still in step one... but I feel a lot more honest and true to myself than I ever have.

Here's to praying and hoping!

- Rachel

Comments:

Wow!    
"You've just cleared two huge hurdles, coming clean and two weeks sobriety! High fives all around!

Isn't it wonderful to be able to say "I am X days/weeks clean! I think it is particularly wonderful with a porn addiction. I cried when I first announced in a recovery meeting that I was 30 days clean.

It gets better,
John"
posted at 18:30:23 on January 23, 2012 by justjohn
Way to go!    
"I am so happy for you and hopeful that your husband showed such understanding. You are on the road!

Maddy"
posted at 20:15:50 on January 23, 2012 by Anonymous
Don't you feel so much better    
"I know that this is just the beginning, but don't you already feel better? It does feel great to say "I've been clean for ____ days or weeks or months.
Being a woman, but having a predominately male addiction, I think that husbands are alot more understanding & supportive than most women are. Someone said to me that men think, "well I would want her to be understanding if I had this issue, I should be understanding". That's just my observation.
Congrats & keep up the good work. Pray, pray, pray."
posted at 21:38:36 on January 23, 2012 by ME


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"We cannot keep one foot in the Church and one foot in the world. One reason is the world and the Church are rapidly diverging. We will lose our balance.We know that "no man can serve two masters." Some, I fear, are attempting to do what President Marion G. Romney described as trying to "serve the Lord without offending the devil." "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006