New Here
By AnthonyW
1/22/2012 12:16:36 PM
I am new here and not really sure where to start. I thought I posted something last night but apparently I did it wrong as I could not find it this morning. The short of it is I have a p/m addiction and I am slowly destroying my marriage. I don't really have any friends and neither does my wife. When I struggle and slip she goes into a depression and things are rough for a while. It just so happens she is my main support, beyond meeting with the bishop and trying to maintain my spiritual life. I just need some emotional support from folks who understand. Thanks.


safe place    
"welcome to a safe place where you can express what is on your mind, your struggles and successes. Congrats for reaching out and looking for a place to continue your path of recovery. It takes courage to battle addiction and you have taken the first steps to do so. I encourage you to read the archived messages for in them you will find messages of hope and encouragement."
posted at 13:08:21 on January 22, 2012 by rachp
"If it isn't too awkward you can tell your wife to come on here and the wives here would be happy to reach out. We've all been there. We can't make it better, but we can let her know she isn't alone.

Loneliness is a huge trigger. "Hungry, Angy, Lonely, Tired" are the big 4 that trip people into relapsing. This addiction thrives in loneliness and secrecy. I really suggest to do everything you can to find a support group in your area who can help. If there isn't a ARP or PASG group find out about Sexual Addicts Anonymous and S-Anon for your wife.

There were many times that my husband and I felt that we had 'no one' to go to for support because we could never ever tell family or friends. We leaned on each other as our main supports and that was toxic for a thousand reasons. Slowly we started created networks of friends outside of the two of us and found that there were even a few of them that we could tell them about our 'true' selves....the ones that had problems. Today we are doing so much better....not perfect....but worlds better.

I hope that you find some of what you need here. It can't replace friends, family and a support group that is in person but it really has helped me a lot. Welcome."
posted at 14:14:26 on January 22, 2012 by maddy
"welcome to the site.
I've come to know that this site really does help.
we all have each others backs to help fight off these addictions.
just let us know"
posted at 14:21:06 on January 22, 2012 by churchgirl
"I have been reading some recent posts and have been touched by some of the stories. Thank you for the support and advice. I showed the responses to my wife but she is still in an ambivalent depressive state and does not feel that checking email or being part of an online group would be useful to her. She is open to some sort of in-person group work and I need to find out what is available in the area. I have been slipping too frequently lately and something needs to change."
posted at 21:29:08 on January 22, 2012 by AnthonyW
Help for Spouses    
"Here's a link to a manual for spouses of addicts. Also, I know the church has support groups for spouses in a lot of areas, so if you are involved in a group for yourself, ask the facilitators if there is a group for spouses."
posted at 21:34:46 on January 22, 2012 by want2change

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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006