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How did you admit?
By anon16
1/21/2012 1:49:18 PM
That you had a problem? That you were powerless?
A quote by Neal A. Maxwell essentially said that we can choose to suffer as Christ did, or live like Christ did. I'd never thought of it that way.

I am on day 7. There are times when I want to give in so bad. There were several times where if I'd been in the right place, I would have. I'm still struggling with it. Like, thinking about what the consequences of just giving up and being uunwilling would be. But I know that isn't right, so why do I think that?

I'm trying to understand the balance of not rejecting my bishops help, and not being dependent on him. I'm not sure what is overkill, and what isn't. In either way.

Right now, the only reason I'm not giving in is because I want to be happy. But even not giving in, I'm not happy. And I don't know how to change that.

Yesterday, I lost control. Kind of. I was at a library, with a friend and her children, one of which is a younger girl who looks up to me. Because my friend and kids wereoccupied, I wandered off in the books, and went to the comic section because the girl recommended it. Wasn't reading anything anyway.

There was a manga rated explicit. Not really really bad, but something
I shouldn't have read. And then another which I didn't think was bad, so I sat down and started reading it. Until this girl came and started looking over my shoulder at the pictures, did I put it away. Not that grahpic or detailed, but there was some stuff in there that I didn't,t think her mom would approve of. And I hated that. That I gave in that regard to temptation. I didn't even think about it, until I'd done it. It makes me feel hopeless that I did that. Because I don't want to admit its an addiction. That's another reason. I haven't given in, proving to myself that it isn't. But I want to mb so bad. And I hate it.
wouldn't want to be seem reading. And I browsed thr bbr

Comments:

correction    
"My computer was weird at the end - sorry. It should say, above that it was something I browsed through and wouldn't want to be seen reading"
posted at 13:51:57 on January 21, 2012 by anon16
You know it. So just admit it.    
"You already know that you have a problem and that you are powerless. That is why you are frustrated. That is why you are typing this blog. So why not just admit it. Admit it to yourself that this is your weakness and start treating it like a problem. Like a wound. Bind it up, let Christ heal it. And don't keep hurting it again. Also, get on your knees and admit it to God. You said yourself that you know it is a problem but you don't want to admit it. You don't have to admit that it's an addiction. You have to admit that it's a problem that you need out of your life. Admit it. Admit that you have weaknesses and need Christ. That is how you will be happy. That is where you will find hope.

And I love that quote. In D&C it says that Christ suffered that we might not suffer but if we do not repent we will suffer even as He did. Christ already suffered. We don't need to. We just have to live like He did."
posted at 15:01:39 on January 21, 2012 by iamstrong
The reason you "want to give in so bad"    
"is because you're trying to escape something painful. Healing will come when you a) discover (uncover) what those pains are, and b) then turn those pains over to the Savior. Ask him to strengthen you against those painful things, to give you comfort in your times of need, instead of seeking to comfort yourself.

The Holy Ghost and the Savior both have the title of "Comforter", so why not let them use their powers in your life?"
posted at 17:28:11 on January 21, 2012 by dog


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