Letting go of my "favorite sin"
By quuephe
1/17/2012 9:31:30 AM
Step 1 - Action Step — Become willing to abstain
Abstaining from the only sin that I do yet don't want to let go. I don't want it to plage my marriage, my family, or my relationship with God... But I don't know what to replace it with...

Do you have suggestions?



There is only one answer to that    
"You replace it with Christ.

posted at 16:54:17 on January 17, 2012 by Anonymous
"I recently got a letter from my mother in law saying that coping mechanisms are just tools provided by Satan, devised to trick us into not seeking out the one true source of peace and comfort. Maddy is exactly right, replace it with Christ. Everything else is just a distraction."
posted at 12:44:31 on January 18, 2012 by crushedwife
Easier said than done    
"I agree that YES Christ should be your replacement.
But when push comes to shove, & you are at the brink of taking 5 steps backwards, sometimes thinking about Christ, only causes us to feel more shame. Putting Christ into your mind constantly is a gradual process.
This is what the church's combatting pornography website says under Avoiding Slip-ups:
1. Plan your week. Try to look ahead and anticipate times when you may feel stress, depression, or self-pity. Deal with your trigger points in advance.
2. Avoid becoming overconfident and thinking that you are “over” this problem. This will often cause you to forget the little things that make big differences: mindfulness, personal and specific prayer, scripture study, journal writing, acts of service, and so on.
3. Remember that you aren't able to do it by yourself—and you don't have to. Call upon the Lord, His representatives, trained professionals, trusted family members, and friends. Asking for help is not a weakness; it is a strength.
4. Avoid thinking, "If only she would do this, or if only he would do that." Other people may not do anything that you want or need them to do. That's their choice. Realize that you must still find a way to go on despite being let down by someone on whom you relied. Blaming others will not help you overcome this addictive habit and will only cause relapse.
5. Avoid thinking, "I have changed. Why hasn't everyone else?" As you see yourself making progress, you may expect others to start changing some of their behaviors. They may or may not decide to change. Focus on improving yourself. God gives us the power to change ourselves, not others. Try not to let others distract you from your desire to change. If you are not careful, you may find yourself saying, "No one else is changing, so why should I?”
6. Do not think you can change overnight; expecting too much too soon is problematic. Change is a process—not an event. Be patient.
7. Realize that repentance is a process, not a single event. Continue to study and follow the counsel of prophets and apostles. For example, read and apply the principles in Elder Richard G. Scott’s conference address “Finding the Way Back” (Ensign, May 1990, 74–76).
8. Set goals of abstinence. Begin with “one day at a time.” Keep going until you are habit free. Every day, pray to resist temptations that day.
9. Seek out and cultivate good friends. Someone once said, "A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same." Trusted friendships are vital to an atmosphere of recovery and ongoing healthy relationships.
10. Recognize certain times and conditions that cause your temptations to come most strongly. Change the conditions, associations, or habits that have perpetuated the problem.

If and when you do slip up, learn from it. Ask yourself, “How did I let that happen? Where have I been slacking off? What do I need to pay more attention to?” Fight thoughts such as, “I can’t do it. I’m not good enough. I don’t have what it takes.” Consider reviewing the Relapse Analysis Form.
In step #1 Elder Boyd K. Packer said, "The study of doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than the study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation of unworthy behavior can lead to MORE unworthy behavior."
I also suggest that you review the talk given by Elder Uchtdorf, Oct 2009 conference. It is called, "The Love of The Lord". Part of it says, "Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compusass, God’s love encompasses us completely."
"Regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him SO THAT He can draw near to us."
That's the key right there, if we draw near to Him, He can draw near to us & strengthen us during our times of temptation.
I know that this is a lot of information. But think about it both ways, make the list of things to do, follow your plan for when you are tempted & then drawn near to The Lord SO THAT He can draw near to you & help & strengthen you through all of this. "
posted at 02:04:28 on January 20, 2012 by ME
Great reply by ME    
"Great reply by ME. An excellent list of advice and techniques that will help us turn to Christ and away from our addictions.

Good luck Q. You are moving in the right direction."
posted at 11:07:05 on January 20, 2012 by Ilmw
Makes sense    
"what you quoted, Me. One of my biggest, and main issues is right when I go to bed or right after I wake up. After my wife (who currently lives out of state) is asleep and I don't want to wake her, I think I can avoid it... and then it happens, or in the morning, before she is awake to call... I'm sure she would rather me call... but it's hard, getting over that and past my shame... I think I'm focusing too much on the behavior... That's when it gets me. When I think I can be strong, I'm thinking about it. If I stop thinking about being strong, and think, rather, on the gospel, I can more easily avoid relaps... Am I understanding at least part of idea, me? anyone?

posted at 20:26:39 on January 20, 2012 by quuephe

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"The solution to this problem ultimately is neither governmental nor institutional. Nor is it a question of legality. It is a matter of individual choice and commitment. Agency must be understood. The importance of the will in making crucial choices must be known. Then steps toward relief can follow."

— Russell M. Nelson