By momof5
1/7/2012 10:30:04 AM
I am on step two on the twelve step program. I am wanting to have hope. But most women I talk to say there husband has always relapsed. I personally don't want to be around if that happens.

Is there anyone out there that has been sober for more than two years? Or knows of someone with 20+ years of sobriety?
I know it is not my job to fix my husband but I could sure use some hope from somewhere that my whole married life that I will not be competing with porn:( Because if that is the case I would rather be a single mom of 5.

I hope that I can move forward and heal because I am sure sick of feeling the way that I do:(


In my addiction recovery group    
"there is a brother who has been sober for over 16 years, so yes it is possible.

I'm female, so I don't know for sure, but I have been told that porn has nothing to do with your husband being dissatisfied with you. The porn is his problem, not yours, though it sure does affect you. Try not to question who you are or your self worth or what you did wrong, etc. Those are questions that really have no answer because it isn't you. It is him. He is blessed that you are trying to work things out and I hope that you all will be successful and will once again find happiness."
posted at 22:42:25 on January 7, 2012 by want2change
Actions vs. Words    
"Research other sites that are LDS and learn all you can. Addict in active addiction lie. If he is actively reading and learning about his addiction, his personal triggers which lead to slips and relapses, and he really wants recovery for himself-to build security, safety and rebuild trust-he will maintain his sobriety with his Holy Spirit helping him close the gap between being aware of his temtationj and his acting out, when he feels he can not. Give yourself time to heal. You've been traumatized and betayed. Your spouse will being doing all he can to obtain and maintain sobriety for now. You may need a qualified counselor just to share and vent. Especially with 5 children. I send prayers your way. I became so ill I was hopitalized from keeping the secrets and protecting my acting out spouse. Now, I look like the emotionally unbalanced wife of the really nice guy. My Heavenly Father knows. I have been attending 18 months. Began 6 years ago and he didn't want me going, so I stopped. Since it is a very private addiction, there will never be a sure thing. Wouldn't want the Spirit of an active SA in my home with children. It will affect them."
posted at 12:47:30 on January 8, 2012 by Anonymous

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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967