By losthope
12/28/2011 3:13:50 AM
Step 1 - Key Principle — Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.
I'm not sure I want to do this.

I joined this site because I don't know where to turn. LDSAR turned up on Google. I spent hours reading past posts. You all give me some faint glimmer of hope. If only I can hold on to that feeling.

I'm not sure I want to share my entire story just yet, but I need someone to be accountable to, and I feel that no one in my life will understand.

Here's to day 1.


One day at a time...    
"Day 1. One step closer to your goal! You can do this. There is hope."
posted at 03:20:24 on December 28, 2011 by Iamstrong
""I'm not sure I want to do this."

Do what? And why are you not sure?

There is much hope here, losthope. Many people here have been clean for months or years. With God, nothing is impossible.

You don't need to share your entire story with us, but you can if and when it feels right. Also, you might be surprised how many people in your life will understand. You are not the first or the only person to struggle with whatever you are struggling with.

You are not alone."
posted at 11:40:07 on December 28, 2011 by beclean
Me too!    
"You are not alone my friend stick with it, one hour, one day, one week at a time."
posted at 12:17:48 on December 29, 2011 by melvin
"I know I was vague. Partly because I'm having a lot of trouble sorting out my own feelings about everything.

Basically, I'm not sure that I want to quit, or tell anyone, or be accountable, or change. It all just seems so difficult and I don't know that I have enough desire to actually overcome this."
posted at 15:13:15 on December 29, 2011 by losthope
As I said to someone else    
"pray for the desire to have the desire to overcome. I have hundreds of totally clean nights when, just before I went to bed (bed is where I act out), I told the Lord "we both know what I'm going to do as soon as I finish this prayer. And I don't even want to stop." etc. And I might then say something like, "if it be possible, please help me to have the desire to have the desire to stop, because now I don't have the desire to stop, I want to keep on doing this..." and so forth.

And I hope I don't trigger anyone by saying this, but then I'd rip off my clothes, hop into bed...and then not even want to act out. I would sleep through until morning without any problems. And I'd wake up in the morning and not have the desire to act out. And I wouldn't act out. And I felt such peace. Which is why I didn't act out. Hundreds of times this has happened to me in the past 2+ years.

Just be honest, totally honest, with the Lord. He already knows it. And you're not being defiant, you're just telling the facts as they are. Pray for the desire to have the desire, even though you may not have the desire to have the desire to stop.

"Lord, help thou my unbelief.""
posted at 22:54:16 on December 29, 2011 by dog
Thank you DOG    
"I am going to ask for that tonight. Thanks to everyone for welcoming me, it's really helpful to be able to come to this site when I am tempted. You are all so inspirational."
posted at 01:20:52 on December 30, 2011 by losthope
you are not alone    
"I too had the same problem i felt as if no one cared. sometimes i still feel that way but know that we are all in this together. this site has helped so much and it can help you to. i am always here to talk if you need someone."
posted at 11:09:59 on January 1, 2012 by churchgirl
"I really sympathize. I got on this website only a few days ago because I was browsing through the porn stuff feeling bored and low. I probably stared at the screen for what felt like an hour before I busted out a couple measly paragraphs. And you know what? I felt better just knowing I didn't have to have a great story. It felt good just admitting the truth to myself.

There are so many people here to help you. I was feeling so pessimistic about this process, but now I have hope just knowing I have people like you out here with the same stuff going on. You're probably a great person and one of the few willing to admit you need help. I'm starting at step one too! We can do it together!"
posted at 22:38:10 on January 11, 2012 by reform2012
Coming here gives me hope    
"I only just joined today... And already i'm filled with renewed hope! I haven't posted my story or even posted my own first post, just commented on others... Just reading through these posts, knowing I'm not alone has helped me a lot! I've seen some addressing one part of what I deal with and others that address another part. Losthope, I hope that you have found the hope that I have! Thank you, for the hope that you give me!"
posted at 22:10:02 on January 15, 2012 by quuephe
1 step    
"at a time. i feel like were kind of in the same boat
because this site popped up when i googled it and i feel a slight glimmer of hope here when i post and people respond. know that i am here for you cheering you on as you overcome this addiction. if you need to talk or just someone to listen i am here. :)"
posted at 14:25:14 on January 22, 2012 by churchgirl

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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988