i keep running up that road, i keep running up that hill
By taintedlove
12/10/2011 11:18:23 PM
In a lot of ways I see good changes. In some ways... not so much. I haven't had sex since beginning of August. The MB is getting better some. I'm making an effort to read Scripture more. But I'm also down a lot. I need a new job. I'm lonely. I'm spending Christmas alone I think. I'm not sure if I want to spend it elsewhere. I'm stressed. I've been sick. And now I have a pinched nerve. Giving up isn't an option but I want to.

Even though I haven't had sex .. I want to. So I refrain being around people. I don't think I'll ever get married again. I'm not marriage material. I see a lot of bad in me despite me being treated wrong. I can be selfish at times and a little mean. This isn't an excuse but at times its a defense that I've always used. I push people away. I always have. I'm tired. I need help... please help



I want you to look at something...    
"I once heard in a talk that people have layers. Some are good and some are bad. Some people have their good layers on the top. Some people have them deep inside. But all people have good. So look at yourself and find those layers. Let them take over.

And another thing, you probably push people away. But I want you to look at all the people in your life that no matter how hard you push, they stay. Because there are people like that. And you've got God. And now you have me. Like it or not, I'm not going anywhere. So look at that.

You are a good person. Just be who you really are. And people are going to stay with you. Don't let go of those people. Hold them tight."
posted at 04:21:10 on December 11, 2011 by Iamstrong

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"Strength comes from uplifting music, good books, and feasting from the scriptures. Since the Book of Mormon was to come forth “when there shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth” (Morm. 8:31), study of that book in particular will fortify us."

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988