By Ymir
12/3/2011 9:58:27 AM
So two of you have asked me questions. I will try and answer them...

Angelmom... yes, I have been to therapists, 4 of them, and nothing has worked. One made me write about my problems in a journal, and one made me go 'cold turkey' about my two problems. I didn't do either. People would point out that I am writing now... but this is to people in similar situations and with hope of getting understanding, and maybe support.

3Rs: First, finally getting the courage to tell people, even anonymously and being asked if I am 'for real' is less than ideal. I was told to write here by an LDS friend of mine because of the loving support that this site has. Second... I have gone to the LDS services for the last year and a half, and have found good people there. Not saying that I believe in that, or ever will, but I felt the people actually cared about what was going on.
I count the times I cut myself to be able to say that I have stopped, and that I am better. That that day, whatever day that is, was the last day. And I write those in my journal. And one day, call it weakness of character, I counted all those up. I came to a total of over 120 times. I feel I should apologize to you about who I am, but I really feel I won't. I'll never apologize for being me. I know I am not where I want to be, but I am trying.

As for hope... I only have that I have close friends and that this ends. That I can conquer this beast eventually and be rid of this horror. That I can finally meet a nice girl and maybe even settle down. That I will be showed love that I never knew. That I will be accepted for who I am and not always found fault in. I have more, but these are the ones that come to mind.


"For answering my question.

Personally I have visited dozens of therapists in my lifetime and have had only one good one. I believe that a specialist in the area of addiction can be helpful. They are rare, but I believe the best therapists are recovering addicts who have taken the effort to obtain the additional training necessary to help people who are stuck in addiction as they once were. I did not seek a therapist when we hit ground zero about 2 years ago. I did not take antidepressants even tough my doctor encouraged it. I have taken them in the past, but something inside me told me I had to go through this without the meds. I needed to experience the change. That was my personal answer. I did and still do attend a 12 step program for family support. I have a sponsor and I work my steps daily and that has made the biggest difference in all of my life. I see the world differently.

I want you to know that I do not judge you. No matter your belief, I see you as a brother or a son of mine. We are all fellow travelers and are only here a short time. I believe that the answer is Love. Love for everyone and everything. Where there is love there is respect and zero judgement. Where there is love, there is support and understanding.

I am glad you are here. Hope you stick around."
posted at 11:00:22 on December 3, 2011 by angelmom
You are welcome here    
"I know how lonely you must feel. You have a lot on your plate right now. I hope you know that you are welcome here. Sometimes it helps to just write out how you're feeling. Ymir, keep reaching out. Keep having hope. You never know when things will turn around. God gives some of us some really hard burdens to carry. I think these difficult trials make us stronger if we can just get through them. Sometimes we have to lean on other people-even if they are complete strangers.

Keep writing!!"
posted at 14:30:43 on December 3, 2011 by Anonymous

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"Lucifer will do all in his power to keep you captive. You are familiar with his strategy. He whispers: “No one will ever know.” “Just one more time.” “You can’t change; you have tried before and failed.” “It’s too late; you’ve gone too far.” Don’t let him discourage you. When you take the path that climbs, that harder path of the Savior, there are rewards along the way. When you do something right, when you resist temptation, when you meet a goal, you will feel very good about it. It is a very different kind of feeling than you have when you violate commandments—an altogether different feeling. It brings a measure of peace and comfort and provides encouragement to press on. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990