My New Normal
By angelmom
12/1/2011 11:27:18 PM
I was baptized into the Church in my early 20s, and I remember believing and having such a strong testimony of the truthfulness of the Church. But until this past couple of years I have never had the burning testimony of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I rarely have met people who bear witness with burning passion, and when I have, I am always amazed. I was beginning to think of myself as off a little when I read in 2nd Nephi 31 13, in latter part of this verse, “The baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost; and then can ye speak with the tongue of angels and SHOUT praises unto the holy one of Israel”. And in Alma Chapter 5 verse 26, “And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?”

I love, love, love this. I love to share my love and absolute reliance on Jesus Christ. I know it is weird for those around me who don’t understand, but it shouldn’t be. It is right there in the scriptures. The Prophets and Apostles feel it and say it, then why not me? Why not everyone? It is available to all of us!!!
I am learning that we have built an entire culture on the lie of holding back from God and those around us. We issue shame and guilt which keeps us in secrecy and darkness. We are warned against this and we do it anyway. We should praise him in word and deed all day long, and now I do just that. When I am wrong, I repent. When things are hard, I cry and then I praise him. Even the smallest thing that goes right, I praise him. I have dark days for sure, but I know in whom I can trust for my peace and salvation, and I did not always know that. I suffered for years surrounded by addiction and I did not have to suffer so much because that is what Jesus does for me.

All of these years, I had been living by a culture, missing the essence of why I even exist. I worried what calling I would get. I worried how my church attendance looked. I worried what people would think if they really knew who I was or what I really felt. I worried what people would think of us if they knew of my husband’s and children’s addictions. Now that the shame, guilt, and worry are gone, I feel free. I feel freer than I ever have my whole life. Working my steps has brought me to my knees and to my Savior. I get it, I really get it. He really is the way, the light, and the truth. I can bear witness all day long, but until you feel it, it is hard to put words to what the atonement really means to you. It is the most simple, yet mind-blowing knowledge I can obtain. Feeling this love and gratitude deep within my heart leads me to want to repent daily. To change my life daily and to do right by my family and everyone I meet.

The funny thing is that in some ways things have never been harder and more uncertain, but somehow I am okay. And that is something I have never experienced in my life before. It is by staying close to the Lord that I do this. It really is not by any thing I do, it is just by his love and grace and I love it!

I really am a new creature in Jesus Christ, and I love this new normal.
I just had to share…


What a wonderful testimony    
"Thank you for sharing it with me/us. It makes me want to study those scriptures specifically in my studies. :) You have a beautiful soul Angel!

posted at 16:59:48 on January 17, 2012 by quuephe
"I love it when you share on here because of how strong your faith is. I think the world of you!

posted at 09:42:27 on January 18, 2012 by Anonymous

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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967