By iamstrong
11/23/2011 2:48:18 AM
I realized today as I talked with my support group and Bishop that my anxiety is causing the negative feelings in my life. It is causing me to get down on myself and weakening me against temptation. My body and mind are reacting to the anxiety with bad dreams. I have had so much anxiety/stress weighing down on my soul. So I wanted to get to the bottom of it. My Bishop says that anxiety is when there is something within ourselves that we don't want to face. For me, I think it's that I have lived such a secret life and I feel fake. People think I am more righteous than I am. Then I was.

I have to remember that who I am now isn't who I was then. I need to forgive myself and forget all the crap of the past. I need to move on. I need to feel adequate. I need to feel great. Because I'm a pretty dang good kid. I am trying to be better. That's what good kids do. So here's to less anxiety and more positive thoughts!


good start!!    
"iamstrong, these are the elements at the core of it all. all the anxiety and frustration. sometimes those are the only emotions i feel anymore. But this is what the surrender is all about. You are realizing that there are things off. You are realizing what you need to do. That is the first step as I understand it. Let it out. Let others know what you are feeling. Vent on this site. Vent all you want. I listen. I care. Ask God to help you discern why it is you feel so much anxiety. sometimes we just say, "I am so weighed down because of this addiction or becuase of my past sins. I hate being addicted. I hate having this past. It is so exhausting." But the real root/core issue is sometimes we feel so alone, like no one really cares, like people wouldn't say they care if they knew all the creepy/"sinful" things we do. It does not mark who we are!! dang it! we are good solid people who understand the need for humility and dependence on God.

It is sound truth that you are a good kid. You are going to support! You are meeting with the Bishop! Keep learning from those who have some how gotten to stable ground. I am not that person but seek them out!! Some people have lots of strength and sobriety. You don't have to relive all the past either. I am so happy for you that you are moving along. I like your profile name. I AM STRONG."
posted at 08:29:37 on November 23, 2011 by warrior
Love it    
"This post is so dead on. You are talking about something so hard for so many addicts to put their finger on. Letting go of the past by not being afraid of it and certainly not letting it control your future. Listen to Warrior! Keep going and keep working through this."
posted at 15:02:49 on November 23, 2011 by Anonymous

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"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004