By warrior
11/21/2011 2:39:54 PM
Dear LDSAR community,

I haven't posted in a while because I don't want to abuse this site. My thoughts aren't always so positive. The past two weeks have been pretty hopeless for me. I get so tired of fighting and losing, so I said screw I wont fight and enjoy losing. It still doesn't make you feel any better. This past week especially was pretty bad.

I need a sponsor. I need some trained in recovery. I admit that I don't have any clue how to beat this. I can scheme, plan, pray, etc, etc, but it is only a matter of time until i lose. The demons can wait all day.
I am learning through SA and others via email that until I do the hard painful work of cleansing my inner core and conquering lust, the P/M are going to continue the rest of my life.

Anyone know ANYONE in the Salt Lake area who would be a sponsor?? I don't even care if they would be a stellar sponsor. I will seriously pay them money. send me numbers or emails.

I don't know how to "work the steps." Do I read the book? Do I fill out the exercises at the end of the step? I can do homework and busy work.

I am so addicted it is ridiculous. Absolutely powerless. I know that some people maintain recovery. I know it is somehow possible. I will be stoked if I could minimize my addiction to one act out per month. To me, that would make life so much better.


Find a sponsor at a meeting, not here.    
"And don't pay them. You are in a good spot. You are WILLING. Now just go to enough meetings to find someone with many years clean who has worked the Steps and ask them to sponsor you."
posted at 23:38:52 on November 21, 2011 by Anonymous
Go to a SA or PSAG meeting and find a sponsor    
"You need someone that will look you in the eye and tell you what you need to hear."
posted at 10:28:06 on November 22, 2011 by Hurtallover

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"Just as the landfill requires dedicated work and attention, laboriously applying layer after layer of fill to reclaim the low-lying ground, our lives also require the same vigilance, continually applying layer after layer of the healing gift of repentance.…Our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, feel sorrow when we choose to remain in sin, when the gift of repentance made possible through the Atonement can clean, reclaim, and sanctify our lives. When we gratefully accept and use this precious gift, we can enjoy the beauty and usefulness of our lives... "

— Shayne M. Bowen

General Conference October 2006