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A combination of self reliance and reliance on the Lord, or what ETTE said:
By dog
11/19/2011 6:10:40 PM
ETTE said the following, and I think it's true (at least for me):

"The good news is that recovery is possible for even the most addicted people. A lot of people on here will tell you that you have to surrender to God, find the underlying problems, and try to avoid white knuckling if you want lasting sobriety. All of that is true, but it sounds to me like you're in a vicious cycle of addiction, and you might actually need to white nuckle for a little while before the steps will help. I know I've been in situations like that before. Here's my best advice on how to break free from a strong point of the addiction:

"Whenever I'm in a really bad cycle, the first thing I have to do is decide to quit. I have to realize that until I want to stop, I'm not going to stop. This is an act of sheer will power and determination.

"Once I have made up my mind that I am going to quit, I turn to God in sincere prayer and ask him to show me what I have to do to stay clean. I ask God this same question every time I pray until I feel like I have a good plan."

end of quote

He then tells how he compensates for brain chemistry lags (dopamine deficits) by doing physical exercises (running, weights, etc.) for the first few weeks of white knuckling, because for him, this is the toughest time.

The important thing is that his healing begins with a decision, with a firm determination not to do that thing again. I think that, for me at least, this is true: I need to white knuckle (self reliance) for a while, and after the Lord and I know I'm sincere, then he will help me and will give me strength to manage and to spare.

I have been in love with my addiction for many years. I have curried it like a favored English Thoroughbred horse, I have nurtured it and given it a thousand ways to thrive and branch out, I have cradled it close to my heart. I didn't want to let it go. Because it soothed the pain and made me forget my fears. And while I absolutely need to get to the roots of my fear and pain and sort those things out, I need to start simultaneously with a change of behavior.

I believe that the reason that my previous spiritual highs and periods of abstinence didn't endure was mainly because I didn't understand that my addiction (mb) was a way of medicating myself against the pains and hells of my life. And this is where the Savior's healing balm comes in, this is where the Atoning Sacrifice of the Lamb of God unravels and soothes the soul, this is where I must rely on my Redeemer.

I went back to my addiction when things got tough because I relied on myself for the quickest, cheapest fix, rather than relying on the Lord's helping hand.

Now I understand that I a) have to let go of "The Jungle" (my PTSD), b) that I have to turn over the pains of the girls who have broken my heart to the Lord, c) that I must turn over the unspeakable degradations, moral outrages, and agonies that I have endured to the Lord d) I must forgive others, all others, from my heart, absolutely, totally, completely, and forever, and e) I must always know that I am completely reliant only on the merits of my Redeemer, Jesus Christ, for any good thing, and especially for healing.

But I must change my behavior at the same time, now. today, D-Day. D-Day for me means "Decision Day, Determination Day".

Comments:

This is a good Dog!    
"Love this post. Prayers to you. You are on the right track."
posted at 01:32:26 on November 20, 2011 by Hero
Great post    
"I needed to hear this.
thanks."
posted at 10:47:43 on November 21, 2011 by gracefull


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"Nothing is beyond [Christ’s] redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns! Having bled at every pore, how red His raiment must have been in Gethsemane, how crimson that cloak! No wonder, when Christ comes in power and glory, that He will come in reminding red attire, signifying not only the winepress of wrath, but also to bring to our remembrance how He suffered for each of us in Gethsemane and on Calvary!"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987