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Just what I needed.
By PaulThomas
10/2/2011 2:50:24 AM
Way to go Jeffrey R. Holland, just what I needed! I've loved him for years, but I think he's my new favorite apostle, (should I have favorites?). His talk in Priesthood session was absolutley amazing, just said it like it is. And for the first time since I was 15, I made it through a Priesthood "grilling" without feeling guilty the whole time. I mean I'm obviously not perfect, and his whole talk still applied to me directly, but I didn't have that awful pit in my stomach that makes me feel like I'm going to be sick.

To be 100% honest after talking with my bishop I didn't feel THAT different, I didn't feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders or that I was now super in-tune with the spirit, but during Holland's talk I kept expecting to feel the guilt and shame of knowing I was guilty of doing EXACTLY what he said not to do... but I didn't! And that's proof enough that I'm at least making progress.

This isn't the end, I know I'm still going to be tempted, I know that at least for now I am still addicted, but I'm making progress. I'm not white-knuckling it anymore, I have help and resources to turn to, and Holland's talk was a huge boost in moral for me. I realize that if I continue on the course I am on, I can actually complete the repentance process and be FORGIVEN. That seems so crazy to me. 2 months ago I thought I was doomed to live with the guilt for the rest of my life, I thought I would never have the courage to tell somebody about it, and 3 weeks after joining this site I've already made more progress than I have in 3 years of battling my addiction. (Thanks to you all)

For any guys who didn't watch it and for all of the women; get a copy of the talk. It will help and strengthen you immensely. I also like to see that in 1 day of conference the site got 20 new members, the prophets know what they're doing ;)

I've also been praying for years that I would have opportunities to do missionary work and exercise my priesthood to help others and I never really got anything. I realize now that it was because I was not worthy to exercise my priesthood, and not even really worthy to feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost. The week following my confession to the bishop, I had a friend from home ask me if I knew how to set up an appointment for the missionaries, and 2 days later one of the girls I home teach asked me for a blessing (I called the bishop to make sure I was worthy... he said yes! man that felt good) and I think I felt the spirit giving that blessing more strongly than I have ever felt it in my life. I was crying, and so was she. I am SO HAPPY! I want to share my happiness with all of you. Now I just need to stay focused, take it slow, and stay firm in my resolve. You guys are AWESOME. Thank you for your love, your support and your prayers. I pray for you too.

With love,
Paul

Comments:

Watching it now    
"Awesome!

http://lds.org/general-conference/watch/2011/10?lang=eng&vid=1192646403001

Please watch this and all priesthood talks"
posted at 08:28:08 on October 2, 2011 by Anonymous
just watched    
"Thank you for sharing, I needed this just as much as the priesthood brethren."
posted at 22:52:01 on October 2, 2011 by Anonymous
Exactly my thoughts!    
"Just what I was thinking man. Elder Holland's talk... Amazing. So powerful and so strengthening. Thanks for sharing your recent story with exercising your priesthood, giving your friend a blessing. You, are a great strength for me. Same situation I am in. Thanks so much for being a great example of strength and confidence for all of us!"
posted at 16:44:42 on October 5, 2011 by sinwithsatan
A way I can contact you?    
"Hey dude, I was just thinking. Anyway I could email you or somethin? Maybe text or some way we communicate a little easier and faster to help eachother out. Like you said, it seems we're both in the same situation. Preparing to go on a mission, both having a goal to overcome transgression and resist temptation... I know atleast for me, I need the extra help.. And I think talking to someone often who is in my same situation, at the same time, will help. I would greatly appreciate it man.. Thanks, and hope everythings goin well!"
posted at 16:57:22 on October 5, 2011 by sinwithsatan
Sure thing    
"My email is paultjenks@aol.com

email me whenever you want, I like the idea."
posted at 00:01:23 on October 6, 2011 by paulthomas


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"Develop discipline of self so that, more and more, you do not have to decide and redecide what you will do when you are confronted with the same temptation time and time again. You need only to decide some things once. How great a blessing it is to be free of agonizing over and over again regarding a temptation. "

— Spencer W. Kimball