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I've never told anyone.
By Iamstrong
9/27/2011 2:46:11 AM
I have been addicted to pornography since I was 13. It was on and off. I never told anyone. It is not until now when I'm 19 that I'm overcoming it. I'm doing it on my own still. It's hard. But I'm at day 32. And I believe in myself but I think I need to tell someone beside my Bishop. I need someone to know but I don't want them to know. Especially when everyone thinks that only men are affected by porn. I just don't know what to do. I need to pray more and listen.

Comments:

You are not alone.    
"Praying and listening are indeed invaluable tools in fighting this addiction. But you are right, someone else needs to know. This addiction thrives in secrecy and shame. The only way to break the cycle is to end the secrecy and to understand that you're a loved daughter of our Heavenly Father and of infinite worth in spite of any sins and weaknesses.

Please take a look at the recovery manual (link on left) and start studying and honestly answering the questions in each chapter. The reflection and prayer those questions require can invite the spirit and will give you additional tools to find the freedom and peace you are looking for.

There have been and are several several women on this site with these addictions. I hope some of them will chime in and let you know that you are NOT alone in this battle."
posted at 09:58:24 on September 27, 2011 by paul
It's Liberating    
"Although it takes a lot of courage, it's definitely worth it to tell somebody. It's another person to hold you accountable and it feels amazing to get it off your chest. Try telling somebody that understands it is a problem, I told some of my non-member friends before and it didn't help much because they didn't think it was an issue. I recently just told a member friend and he was totally non-judgemental, and is helping me to stay sober.

Also, I was talking to some girls on Sunday that were complaining about the chastity talk the bishop gave my YSA elders quorum the week before. Sounds like he focused just as much on MB and porn in Relief Society as he did for us, so I'm sure it's something he sees often, especially at the age we are now. I'll bet a lot of the girls you hear talking about how it's only a guys problem are doing the same thing.

I hope you have the courage to tell somebody, it helped me tremendously, and it's a much more common problem than you think.

-Paul, not realted to the above Paul ;)"
posted at 17:10:12 on September 27, 2011 by PaulThomas
Disclosure - side point    
"The 12 steps deal with this exactly! You are innately desiring what the 12 step program tells us to do. It tells us to go to our proper priesthood authority AND a sponsor/guide who can support us and hear our truth in a safe and positive way.

I believe that the 12 steps are merely a formal program that helps us walk the path of repentance. The spirit knows this path and as we seek to heal, we naturally are drawn to many of the things we need to do even before we know what the 12 steps program says. You are an example of this. You are already on your way in recovery! I am excited for you!"
posted at 22:07:50 on September 27, 2011 by maddy
Atonement in Action Award!!    
"That is what the 12 steps are about! Seek, Go, Heal!! You are so worth the effort!!!
Dr. Doug Weiss has a book to help women who are dealing with this addiction."
posted at 00:22:37 on September 29, 2011 by Hero
I agree with Paul    
"Paul is absolutely right. This addiction is like a virus, that thrives and grows when left in the dark. I promise you, that when you tell someone, and get support (which if you tell your bishop I KNOW you will) you will feel an immense weight be lifted off your shoulders. There is no way you can get over this alone, and bishops are there to help you. I urge you to tell your bishop about this and get him to help you through this. You have told us. That alone takes great courage, because through telling us, you have told yourself, which is step 1 in the 12 steps.
And, hey, if women weren't attracted to men, none of us would be here! Don't be ashamed, this is just a weakness, and we all have weaknesses. I have faith in you. Telling someone and asking for help is the hardest and most helpful decision you will ever make. Good luck. Keep us posted, that helps too!"
posted at 15:12:38 on October 2, 2011 by SeminaryKid
Thanks everyone.    
"I did tell my Bishop a long time ago. And now I go to a support group. I have to go to a men's group because there is no women's group in my area. I definitely think it is a problem for girls but not many girls seem to be joining support groups or going to ARP meetings. But the men are very supportive. It is day 44 of sobriety! I'm still praying to know of someone outside my support groups to tell. I just need a friend to know."
posted at 23:40:15 on October 9, 2011 by iamstrong
I Can Relate    
"I am one of those women referred to earlier. I go by D here, I am a woman, and I am a sex addict. I struggle with sex, sexual chatting, porn, and masturbation. You are NOT alone! I know other woman here. I've run in to a couple in ARP. I also met some in rehab (yes, I spent about 3 months in rehab). It is amazingly freeing to let someone else know. I have a small group of friends that aren't addicts that know. They all have been amazingly supportive. I would suggest having someone close you can talk to, but if you ever want another female addict to communicate with, I'll be happy to post an email address I created just for this purpose. I did it once before, and we talk now and have exchanged cell numbers to text each other. I want to say, you are doing great. Keep up the good work. Also, have you considered a counselor. I actually have 2 (one who specializes in sex addiction and one who does DBT). I can't imagine doing this without them. Keep going to ARP even if it is just guys. I was the only girl for a long time, and still am the only sex addict female. I'm so glad I jumped on this site today (it's been a while)."
posted at 18:53:41 on October 11, 2011 by dstanley
DSTANLEY,    
"I am looking into getting a counselor... We'll see... But it would be great to get your email. It's nice to know that there is someone else that knows what I'm going through."
posted at 21:32:45 on October 11, 2011 by iamstrong
Here You Go    
"It's dstanleyldsar at live.com

Shoot me an email. :)"
posted at 22:55:21 on October 11, 2011 by dstanley
Thank you    
"I have been struggling with sex/porn/mb addiction for the past 10 years now (at least). I've been on and off with it. I'm in the military and my wife is currently living at home finishing school. She knows about my addiction and I've talked to her about it a little. I told her I wanted to go to a sex addiction group but I don't know how I would start looking for one. Can anyone help me with that?

You know... I know that God answers our prayers. I have been bad at getting on my knees and praying, but I've been having the prayer in my heart to find something to help me with this. I wasn't even looking for help today when I found this sight. I was googling something completely unrelated. I know that our Father guided me here. Thank you, everyone! You've helped me out and given me some hope! Thank you!"
posted at 21:06:53 on January 15, 2012 by Anonymous
Possible Help    
"Do you travel around in the military or are you pretty stationary? You can go to this link http://providentliving.org/content/list/0,11664,4177-1,00.html and find out where the closest meeting is being held. Good luck. Keep praying and have faith that the Lord will change your heart."
posted at 22:26:39 on January 15, 2012 by want2change
The anonymous above    
"That is me...
I'm pretty stationary right now... That's likely to change at any moment, though. Thank you for your help and support!!

~Q"
posted at 22:33:03 on January 15, 2012 by quuephe
Try SA too    
"@Anonymous - you can also check out SA meetings. http://www.sa.org/top/ We live in an area where ARP meetings are pretty far, but there is SA and S-Anon really close to us. My husband started going to SA and I went to my first S-Anon last night."
posted at 12:31:39 on January 18, 2012 by crushedwife


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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988