SO Frusterating...
By Jenn
11/8/2006 11:18:01 PM
I was on a blog site tonight and this is what i read....

"My honest opinion about Porn would get me kicked out over there. I take Dr Laura's approach to it. No its not good that he is looking at porn but what are you doing so he doesn't have to. Are you taking of your clothes? If my husbad watches some porn or looks at some porn oh well. But he doesn't have to becasue I take my c lothes off...."

I can't belive what she is thinking... maybe i am off but does it matter how many times you "take your clothes off" for your Husband? This did however got my Husband and i talking. YAY!

Its so hard to read something like this and not feel like your the cause of your loved ones problems. Do i not love him enough? Am I not attractive enough? Does he not love me anymore? So thats what me and DH talked about. He told me that no matter how much we made love that during the worst part of his addiction he still would have looked at it. Satan knows how to tempt us. from what i have seen he does a good job at that. Someone on that same site said that his brother records all of his sports programs so that he can fast foward through the comercials of the scantily clad women, so that he wouldn't get addicted to porn. the person that posted called his brother a rediculous person...and i quote "No one could get addicted to porn from watching sports". WHAT THE!?? For someone who IS addicted to porn those scantily clad cheerleaders/women can be a "trigger". Its amazing how much better my DH and i are at being married since he started going to meetings and reading the manual. He is turning into more of the Person the lord wants him to be. He was just as mad at the comments of those people. Knowing that those people are LDS and say they belive in the same thing you and i do is very hard. I wanted to write and let them know what its like to love and live with some one who is addicted. I want them to know the hurt that all of us feel. Knowing that your husband can't sit with you in the celetial room in the temple is so hard. Having people call and invite us to temple night and having to say no is even harder. For me its just like another knife in my heart. Please help me find the peace i need to go on....the prayer in my heart that is said every other min. Hopeing that My DH truly finds his way back. Knowing that there are others out there that are dealing with this just makes it easier to deal with. You ladies give me strength to contnue another day. hope all this makes sence.


Rollercoaster Ride    
"Jenn, I appreciated your comments. That is one thing that I love about this site is that so many of the things people write about are common concerns. That is why we need to be here to boost each other up when we have difficult times."
posted at 23:32:15 on November 8, 2006 by Anonymous
Rollercoaster Ride    
"Jenn, I appreciated your comments. That is one thing that I love about this site is that so many of the things people write about are common concerns. That is why we need to be here to boost each other up when we have difficult times."
posted at 23:32:15 on November 8, 2006 by Anonymous
Rollercoaster Ride continued!    
"Jenn, I am new at this site and forgot to log in and when I tried somehow my comments got sent anonymously --twice. Sorry.
I feel like sometimes people just don't get it. How can they think that the commericals on TV are not having this kind of effect on any man-- pornography problem or not. I don't watch much TV except for one show that runs January through about May. This year when I watched it with my kids, I about died to think that my 14 year old son was sitting there in front of the TV innocently viewing as a Victoria Secret commercial came on. At that point I just gave instructions to my kids that when they do watch TV, they shut it down during commercials. I agree 100 % with you this filth is everywhere. We have to somehow find a better way at looking at our world than to be constantly sickened by these kind of things.
As for strength to face another day, that's where the rollercoaster ride comes in. I love it when we are up and I know without a doubt that things are going to be ok. But those other days when I am struggling as you are, I need some divine intervention, and thankfully it comes. Just continue doing the things that you have learned that you need to to keep things right with you, your husband and Heavenly Father, and everything else will fall into place. That is one of the very comforting things that I have learned from going through this experience with my husband. --Things will get better. Just hang in there. I think I can speak for the others on this site, we are all praying and pulling for each other. We need to continue to read about each others struggles and successes. It is one of the key things that keeps me going when I have those rough times."
posted at 23:51:18 on November 8, 2006 by achar
Awesome posts    
"I totally agree with you guys. The thing these people do not realize is that those commercials and cheerleaders, etc ARE PORNOGRAPHY!

A quote from the following Ensign article:
Rory C. Reid, “The Road Back: Abandoning Pornography,” Ensign, Feb. 2005, 47

"What Is Pornography?

Legal, academic, and other definitions of pornography vary widely, but in a practical sense, pornography is any visual or written medium created with the intent to sexually stimulate. If the work was not intended to stimulate but nevertheless causes sexual arousal in an individual, it constitutes pornography for that person.

If you find yourself asking whether a work is pornographic, the question itself suggests the material makes you uncomfortable. That should be enough to tell you to avoid it."

SO, if it makes you sexually excited, it IS PORNOGRAPHY to you. Some guys can look at a woman walking down the road (fully clothed in a jogging suit) and get sexually excited / "triggered". That person should avoid looking.

I have just recently made a promise to myself and God that I will not watch television unless it has been recorded and my wife is in the room watching with me. She has the remote and skips through the commercials for me. I turn away or put my hand up in front of my face when I see something that triggers me. She tells me when I can look again. She watches out for me and I watch out for myself. It is such a habit now that my 5 year old boy does the same thing when he is watching TV or a movie and sees something that is "not modest" (in his words). That is what I want to teach my son and daughters. They need to learn how to live in the world but not be of the world.

I guess if I was truly committed and strict, I would stop watching TV altogether... I haven't gotten to that point yet. Although there is no way I am ever going to have anything other than the 20 channel basic cable or plain old public TV. If I had satellite or extended cable, I would just be asking for something bad to happen..."
posted at 08:21:40 on November 9, 2006 by doanair
"I used to love rollercoasters. I loved that exhilerating feeling of flying all around, twisting, turning, climbing, dropping, going upsidedown and backwards . . . yeah, loved them. Now they just make me ILL!!! But it seems like rollercoastering is a part of life these days. Thing about rollercoasters is once you've been on one enough times, you start to learn to recognize what's coming next in the ride. And, because you've done it so many times before, you start to figure out the best way to prepare yourself for each twist, turn, climb, drop, etc. Through part of the ride you have to brace yourself and just endure it. Other parts of the ride, you know you can relax and enjoy the sensation of the wind in your hair and the sunshine on your face, or the feeling of being up so high and being so close to the stars, and occasionally you'll find that suddenly you can appreciate and recognize the beauty of the world (yes, it is possible to have a completely spiritual experience while in the middle of a rollercoaster ride!). And then there are those parts where we just hang on for dear life, close our eyes and scream like a crazy person. What are we holding on to? Generally we grab onto those wonderful devices that were specially made just to keep us safe throughout our rollercoaster ride (note: they only work if you remember to use them!). Sometimes (but generally not often enough) we remember to reach out to our Friend who's sitting right next to us, on the ride, who has experienced the rollercoaster numerous times and will help us through all the scary parts. Here's the most important thing to remember about rollercoasters: eventually the ride does end and you can get back onto level ground again."
posted at 11:50:20 on November 9, 2006 by Anonymous

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"Just as the landfill requires dedicated work and attention, laboriously applying layer after layer of fill to reclaim the low-lying ground, our lives also require the same vigilance, continually applying layer after layer of the healing gift of repentance.…Our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, feel sorrow when we choose to remain in sin, when the gift of repentance made possible through the Atonement can clean, reclaim, and sanctify our lives. When we gratefully accept and use this precious gift, we can enjoy the beauty and usefulness of our lives... "

— Shayne M. Bowen

General Conference October 2006