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Changes! <3 "Help Her Heal" DVD, Dr. Weiss ***Summer, read!***
By confidence
8/20/2011 12:06:10 PM
I'm cautious writing this; I blame it on PTSD. I could have done it last night, but I was still in a daze of unbelief.

Awesome Summer sent me the "Help Her Heal" DVD from Dr. Doug Weiss. I had plans to hide it from my husband until I thought he was at a better place to listen to and apply it.

I got it yesterday and was going to watch it on our laptop using headphones while the kids did their thing. However, it was reading it wrong and wouldn't play in the laptop. So, I left it in the laptop, and the DVD case next to me on the couch. I'd forgotten it was there until right before he got home. At that point, it was like the Spirit said to leave it there and just keep my mouth shut.

We did our normal hug greeting when he walked in the door and he went to get a drink and then sat down on the couch next to me. Not soon after that, he picked up the DVD case and said, "Let's watch this tonight."

Uhhh... what?

I said, "Really?" and he replies, "Yeah, I really want to watch it."

So, after the kids went to bed, we watched the first DVD. Off/on through it, he said he agreed with Dr. Weiss. He believed it. He said I am a HERO and a strong woman to endure this. He was serious and teary-eyed.

After, he asked me to share my thoughts - and reminded me that he will "take it." I wasn't sure at first as these thoughts are what I've been trying to conceal because of his painful negative reaction when I shared them. But, again, the Spirit was there, and I could see the light he had.

So, I told him that I wasn't sure if his reaction was authentic. If I could really trust that he did feel the way he does about what Dr. Weiss had to say - or was he just trying to get random "points" from me? Or, if in the future, he'll "forget" it all, and go back to his old ways of reacting to my PTSD negatively.

He VALIDATED my feelings. Said they were NORMAL. Said he understood that this is hard for anyone to deal with and that once again, he sees how strong of a woman I am to try to pick up the pieces and make a way to move on. ETC.

It was beautiful.

I told him I was also very surprised how he consistently was acting. There was no doubt in his mind. He did believe Dr. Weiss.

He shared that it was literally a blessing from the Spirit that he was taking things the way he is/was.

I agree.

Comments:

I wish    
"More LDS therapists would use his stuff. I wish more leaders would ask our Husbands and Fathers to step up to their Priesthood.

There is a new Christian movie coming out called courageous. It is a must see for all men, especially married men. It is from the makers of Fireside, allso a must see. I love what the Christian people are doing to bring people to Christ. It is working for me."
posted at 21:53:53 on August 20, 2011 by Anonymous
Hooray!    
"Good things for you and hubby! So glad Summer could share with you.
Love and Prayers!"
posted at 23:53:36 on August 20, 2011 by Hero
:)    
"I’m so glad you had a positive experience!! Thanks so much for sharing!! How are things going now, a few days later? I hope and pray you continue to have more and more of these positive times. Youre a beautiful person, and you deserve to be happy.

Just a little from our camp. Things are going really well. I had a hard time last night. I haven’t had an episode that I couldn’t get under control before my husband saw me in quite a while. I guess it was going to happen sometime…considering that I still struggle with the mean tricks my brain plays on me, by replaying hurtful horrible things. The hubby was amazing. I didn’t know how I was going to calm down. I was embarrassed and ashamed. My husband took the time to hold me and he actually did calm me down. We had a good evening even after I went nuts for a bit. My husband asked me if I wanted to talk about what triggered me and what I was reliving…I decided that sharing that would only freak me out more and wouldn’t help any of us. Sometimes it helps me to talk about it, and sometimes it doesn’t. That must be really confusing for my husband to deal with, but he was great and he let me decide not to talk about it. I woke up this morning with no residual sad or bad feelings. I’m so thankful that my husband was there for me. "
posted at 09:46:46 on August 22, 2011 by summer
Building    
"We are building. We had that high on Friday, and with each day, the high is lowering. HOWEVER, my husband is still seeing things more clearly and checking in with me and my PTSD. If I'm having a challenge, he just says, "Hey, I really have realized I put you in this place. I want to make it safe for you again. What can I do?" Or, he also knows that it may have to work itself out and he's patient, while reminding me every step of the way that he put me here, and he's sorry.

It's been SO FREEING to not feel guilty after my triggers come at me. The feeling guilty just made it harder for me to move on cause I was piling more negative thoughts to the already bad PTSD challenges and just life. It was creating MORE baggage that was confusing and hard to "let go."

I know that I'm working on my PTSD daily and even by the minute. I feel I'm working my best and including Heavenly Father for help more and more. I'm learning skills from Lifestar's "Toolbox/Survival" book. It's only the beginning, and my husband (so far) gets that.

Oh, he also said he feels he needs to watch the DVD every month to remind him of what Dr. Weiss said. At my prompting (and he was glad I brought it up), I suggested he journal what he learned and his impressions. He wanted to share it with me the next day and from what he wrote, he meant it and did learn. It's been a very spiritual experience for the both of us. :)

<3 Summer, thank you again for the DVD. I really didn't think it would bless OUR lives this fast - but it did. <3 My husband kept on reminding me that he still struggles a LOT with his addiction daily, that the road isn't done. I know that. I know it's just the beginning. But, it's a better beginning.
___

I'm glad you had a great experience with your husband's reaction to your PTSD. What a beautiful thing to have your husband calm you down from the PTSD that has come from finding out about this SA stuff etc."
posted at 10:33:16 on August 22, 2011 by confidence


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"Nothing is beyond [Christ’s] redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns! Having bled at every pore, how red His raiment must have been in Gethsemane, how crimson that cloak! No wonder, when Christ comes in power and glory, that He will come in reminding red attire, signifying not only the winepress of wrath, but also to bring to our remembrance how He suffered for each of us in Gethsemane and on Calvary!"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987