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Hopeless? I pray that its not...
By trust
7/31/2011 1:43:58 AM
Step 1 - Key Principle — Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.
I have struggled so much with pornography recently. Its a battle I fight every day and on the days that I win the battle I dont feel satisfaction...I think its because I continue to tell myself that I only made it a day and one day is nothing, but days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years...etc Its just so hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I guess the good side of things is that I am not yet married, I would hate to put my future spouse through something like this, it is definitely not something that she would deserve and I want the best for whomever I marry, I want to be the best man I can be for her. I do have a testimony of the gospel and I believe that with God's help I can overcome anything but I guess I need to figure out how to better utilize his help. I want to be rid of this addiction once and for all, although I realize that even though things may get easier with time it will always be a battle I will be fighting. I have talked with bishops in the past and it seems to help momentarily but then the problem keeps coming back and I know that its my own fault, its something that I need to take responsibility for and put my problem in the lord's hands and let him help me, but Im unsure how to do that. I have gone for long periods of time without giving in to the beast of pornography and when I do I feel so much better about myself, why can I not get past this mental block and push this problem aside? I thank you all in advance for your prayers, concern, and thoughts. I will also do what I can to help any of you that may need assistance.

Comments:

Hang in    
"The battle we fight is a difficult one. Have you ever talked to a counselor? I know that for me, my acting out is a symptom of other issues. Keep trying. Every day you are sober is a success."
posted at 14:02:30 on July 31, 2011 by Dstanley
We're similar, you and I    
"I'm unmarried as well, and have struggled for a long time with an addiction to pornography, as well as masturbation. I want to be pure for myself and my future family. I've found that the times when I've been able to remain sober are the times when I was fighting for something ELSE. The first time I was sober for around 5 or 6 months, I had promised God that if he would help my injured arm to be healthy enough to make it through Navy boot camp, then I would refrain from masturbating for the rest of my life. I was able to make it until boot camp, but then when I lost my reason to refrain, after boot camp, I started again. The second time, I had just reaffirmed my faith. I had been inactive for a few years, and decided to come back to church and be as active as I knew how. Again, I was sober for somewhere around 5 or 6 months. It wasn't even a struggle for me during that time. There was almost no temptation to sin. But then, I eventually faltered at church. I refused to give a talk, I hadn't been paying my tithing (because I was afraid of the process, of all things), and I forsook temple trips for more "fun" activities. I started sleeping in rather than going to church. When I stopped applying myself, stopped the forward motion, that's when those sins became temptations again.

I guess my message is that, if you can, you should not make RESISTING your main focus. You should try to focus on achieving things which are good in the sight of the Lord, and being the best person you know how to be, always trying to grow. Because, when you're truly committed to something, temptations which would pull you from that thing become almost laughably easy to resist. It takes a strong commitment and a lot of work, but it's the only thing I've found that's worked at all."
posted at 16:05:48 on July 31, 2011 by Trevor
have you been to the 12 steps    
"This is a fight, you can not win without a team behind you. You need a 12 steps program with a support group, a therapist specialized in sex addiction and a good sponsor. Plus a bishop who is knowledgeable and can do frequent follow-up. Alone, you will falter and falter, it is not a fight that was meant to be won alone. This is spiritual cancer and Satan has your free-agency and has locked you up with his chains. You need help from people who know how to win this fight and you need to follow God's program ARP to learn to break free of it.
Good luck"
posted at 18:22:26 on August 1, 2011 by Anonymous
Trevor is right    
"Focusing on avoidance wont help you avoid. Keep working those 12 steps. Have you read "He Restoreth my Soul"? It really defines the cycle you sound like you are in perfectly."
posted at 11:27:32 on August 2, 2011 by maddy
Thank you all so much    
"I wanted to say thank you to all of you who are helping me through this time. I am working hard every day trying to be better. The past week has been a great week for me spiritually thanks to the Lord, I know he has helping me so much this week. I will definitely continue to focus on achieving other worthwhile things as that does seem to help. I will continue to update my progess and hope to help others when they need it as you all are helping me."
posted at 01:36:17 on August 8, 2011 by trust
a couple of bad days...    
"so after a week of great success (which isnt a ton but any success is good success right?) I have fallen the last couple of days...I do find that the longer I go without the easier it is to overcome temptation, but the natural man keeps nagging at me and trying to make me screw up. Although I continue to frustrate myself I will not give up and I will take all of your advice. Its good to know that when I do mess up I still have a support group and I still have my savior."
posted at 00:23:34 on August 11, 2011 by trust
President Bednar said....(at a singles conference in california)    
"that each day we get to add one drop of oil to our lamps
AND that we get to UNLEARN one drop of oil as well.


we always focus in the church on ADDING more into our HEAD.. DO MORE... BE MORE... and ifyou just WORK HARD enough... you will get there...

FALSE!!!

GIVE UP! it's actually hard to do... give up your pride, give up your hope that you will be able to get away from sexual tempation on this earth, give up the idea that you are alone, GIVE UP the idea that you are BAD, unworthy, unloved...

Give up the idea that you HAVE ANY POWER over the long term on this...
and enter into the REST of the lord...

he gives GRACE to the humble... he gives STRENGTH to the broken hearted... he will protect, provide, preside for you.. but he requires EVERYTHING to be given to him... all your hopes, dreams, pet sins,etc... and just be WILLING to give it to him all.. and accept whatever comes out of it."
posted at 00:35:23 on August 11, 2011 by Anonymous


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"Nothing is beyond [Christ’s] redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns! Having bled at every pore, how red His raiment must have been in Gethsemane, how crimson that cloak! No wonder, when Christ comes in power and glory, that He will come in reminding red attire, signifying not only the winepress of wrath, but also to bring to our remembrance how He suffered for each of us in Gethsemane and on Calvary!"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987