Boats - the Pathway Alone & Together
By confidence
7/28/2011 1:27:00 AM
Ok, so, I'm doing this alone. Maybe not alone *really,* but, alone in the sense that I'm not with my husband on this journey to recovery. I'm rowing my own boat against the turbulent waves. I'm not sure if he's paddling his own boat very much, but I know he is a little.

I hope to find him in the calm waters sometime over the months, years and decades to come. But, my boundary is that if he's not paddling and progressing in the sense of working on recovery through this Lifestar program, going to the Bishop and working on being a better, happier man and father, then my journey will take a path without him.

I do not want that to happen, but it's my boundary for me. To look out for me and even my kids. SA in activity brings such an angry husband and father. So much guilt he has and he's placed it on me and now the kids. No more will that be allowed in 17 more months. I am just now relieving myself of his unhealthy guilt and mine.

Paddle paddle paddle against the drop off with raging waters and into serenity.


Responsible for your own recovery    
"Both of you have cancer! Each of you are responsible for your own recovery. But you can define how you want your recovery to be and take every precaution that is necessary to protect the innocence. Your children ! His recovery is his responsibility. If he does not fight the cancer his world may collapse under his lack of desire to be hole. But he has the right to choose how he is going to fight his cancer.

Love and prayers
Love and prayers!"
posted at 09:24:30 on July 28, 2011 by Hero
Good for you    
"Yes! Yes! yes! This post is spot on and I totally feel you here. Detach and move forward. Paddle and paddle and you will find peace even if your husband doesn't, but I believe that this is the best way to 'help' the addict: to focus on our own recovery. Detachment is not apathy. In fact it is totally the opposite. It is an act of compassion and maturity. Good for you!"
posted at 09:49:32 on July 28, 2011 by maddy

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"If it were possible to make your road very easy, you wouldn’t grow in strength. If you were always forgiven for every mistake without effort on your part, you would never receive the blessings of repentance. If everything were done for you, you wouldn’t learn how to work, or gain self-confidence, or acquire the power to change. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990