By lawrence
7/26/2011 5:14:29 PM
Hey guys. Well, I'm still here. I am hesitant to post because I always sound so upbeat and like I have sworn this thing off forever. Well, just want you to know that I'm still working it. I had yet another one of those "ah-ha" moments last week. I will share it sometime, but so far it has kept me more sober than anything else in a long time. I haven't been able to go a week or two without a slip. I am 7 days sober as sober can be right now. I had so many systems and plans and rules and regulations. I was using all of the tools of all of these different programs. Now I only have one. I ask Jesus to walk with me all day. Oh, and I also talk to Him. So far, He is still with me. He has saved me from numerous near-misses. When something comes up that I just can't deal with, I give it to Him, and amazingly enough, He takes it for me. He sometimes doesn't walk with me. Sometimes, to make any progress together at all, He needs to carry me.

I am a little afraid. What if I turn from Him again? My next slip will separate me and my wife. She wants it that way, but I have no resentment about it at all. I consider it a blessing from God because He loves me so much. OK so now you know the reason. Each time I’m tempted, I think of moving my stuff out. I think of seeing the looks on the faces of my kids. I think of seeing my wife’s tear-filled eyes as I leave. Now THAT is a wake-up call.

He has humbled me so much that I'm turning to Him every hour, hasn't He? He has humbled me so much that I am still sober, hasn't He? With God, nothing is impossible, is it? Well, why not controlling this addiction? I can't do it many days, only one day. So He helps me do it each day, only one day at a time. Why is it that the very Creator of the universe is actually interested in little old me, here on my little speck of dust, in my little tiny corner of the world? Why does a God so great even care about someone so low as me? How does He do that? Why does He actually love me?

He does love me. I find it hard to believe, but sure enough, He has shown me His love for Him. All I can say is thank you Jesus, my Lord and my God.


up beat    
"hesitant to share...i hope you continue to share your success and upbeatness (if that's even a word). Sometimes, I am having a hard day and I come here and gain courage and confidence from the positive posts people write. Please keep sharing."
posted at 23:26:28 on July 26, 2011 by rachp
"Thanks RACHP. I will.

Hmmm. Not too much activity on the site. I guess weekends are big, but that's when I dont' really touch the internet."
posted at 12:15:15 on July 27, 2011 by lawrence

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"Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs, or the pernicious contemporary plague of ography? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

— Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006